Rant about "girl moms" ...

[SamS_TTCPink]

I hear you!! Being a "boy only mum" and a mum of six, I cop this all the time!! At the kids schools it is really bad. Even at the preschool, the mums that have 2 or 3 boys and 1 girl only talk to the girl mums and I'm just talked about!

The other day they were standing right near me talking about how they can't handle their noisy boys but were doting on their girls and then looked at me and said "oh sorry, not something we should talk about near you with you not having boys and six of them, you poor thing, you don't even have one girl", like I was some poor, disadvantaged mother who they have to feel sorry for. Made me so mad!

[Peebell85]

I feel so bad that you have to hear crap like that mumof6, just such horrible behaviour.

[Adia]

I didn't read all the responses but I completely understand what you are saying.

I think what one previous poster said about cultural differences is true. Where I live its all about being a man's man and having a son to do manyly things with.

My MIL has been lousy too always asking my why I am the only daughter/DIL who hasn't had a boy, blah, blah, blah. DH finally told her to shove it last August, bless him.

Anywho, these types of moms revolt me too and IMO I think they are trying to live out their fantasies, dreams, etc through their daughters. I live in an area where sports/gymnastics/extra curricular activities are super intense so you get the wack-o dance moms and the crazy gymnastics moms. They are so obnoxious, I can't stand them. BUT I have to admit I totally fascinated listening to them blab in the waiting area about their girls. They are totally obsessed with their girls and I think its a little over the top. I feel bad for the girls. They don't get to be kids, they have to continually compete and practice to try to live up to their parents expectations, which will never happen because the mothers are trying to live out their dream through their daughters.

I have also seen lots of only children who are girls where I live. (I mean no offense to anyone who chooses to have an only child, this is just my observation of where we live.) I feel bad for them, so much pressure from two parents. They are the only ones to fulfill the parents desire for the 'childrearing experience'. One little girl in DD3's class always cries when she has to leave a birthday party or school she says she misses her friends and has no one to play with at home. I always feel bad for her. I know her parents love her but two people living out all their expectations through one little girl has to be a lot of pressure on one kid who is just trying to be a kid!

Don't let them get you down Mum!

[monkeysnuffer]

I had a friend like that. We were pregnant at the same time,her with a girl and me with my son. I found out first and she said "ugh im so sorry. I cant imagine going through life without a daughter." It really hurt me and she didnt even know what she was having yet!!

[Peebell85]

REALLY? Can someone PLEASE tell me what is wrong with boys? Because all the little boys I know are treasures.

[motherofboys]

Boys grow up to be men, and "all men are the same". Well if my boys will be the same as their father and grandfather, then I will be proud.
I have found that the friend of mine who is the worst, her mum is the same, both of them have had strings of bad relationships, and the few nice guys they have dated they have done something to mess it up, or dumped them for such little reasons it almost makes you think they don't want to be with someone, or they are expecting too much.
She will stand and praise her daughter all day long, and has nothing good to say about her son. And as a result he acts out to get her attention and she pushes him further away.
I have to say for the most part I've been met with "girls are such trouble, you got it right having boys" which in it's own strange way is supposed to be a good thing and people obviously don't realise how I feel about it.
My church has a coffee morning once a month and I am pretty much the only one with all boys who I sit with and talk to. The other month I sat with 4 women who all have 1 daughter each and all if them said the same thing. A boy would be nice next, but they were not too fussed either way "now I've got my girl" but they had had a boy first they "would be desperate for a girl"


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[stephk]

I love my DS so much I would not swap him for anything. I cant understand these people. Yes I would prefer a girl next but its not the end of the world if I have another beautiful boy and I would not treat a boy or girl differently I would love my children so very much.

[Peebell85]

Yep I feel exactly as you do Steph! And now i'm having my little boy, my desire for a girl has faded dramatically. I follow this italian soccer player on instagram and he has two of the most adorable little sons, and seeing those pics makes me feel so lucky to have what he has. My obsession with girls is over.

[Rosie85]

I run into ladies like this a lot. I don't know them personally. .just see them around. I get a lot of looks when I cart my three boys around. They stare at me like they feel sorry and then they call their daughters over and show them off silently but it's obvious as they fuss with their hair and bows. I hate women like this. They are the first to whine and place blame too when someone gets hurt at the park. I am the only one of my friends that doesn't have a daughter. It's gets awkward for me at times but nobody has ever said anything negative to me.

[Houseofblue]

Wow. Just wow. I mean I've gotten comments but never ever been treated nasty like that. I love my boys and am damn proud of my gorgeous sons, in fact I feel very womanly for having created these beautiful boys (no knock on girl moms b/c I would feel womanly too for having girls!). I have never been that girly so I think for me the desire for a girl is part wanting what I don't have, and part wanting what everyone else wants me to have.
Back to the OP, I think you need to start speaking up. I don't let anyone say bad things about boys ESP in front of my boys...I always keep things positive, like if someone says "oh wow 3 boys!! No girl?" I'll cheerfully say "Maybe someday but I am VERY happy with my boys, they are sooo sweet and fun!!" and make sure to give a huge cheesy smile lol. I don't let other steal my joy anymore...sure, some comments get to me but I do everything I can to not let the other person know it did.
Now...if someone was THAT nasty to one of my sons, for simply being a boy, hmmm I think I would get nasty back... like about the one girl/mom who didn't want to hold your son's hand, I would be like "that's okay, in about 10 years your little tart will be throwing herself at my gorgeous son, and he won't want to dirty himself by being anywhere near her" lol. Yes, I know, nasty nasty nasty...but sometimes nastiness needs to be answered with nastiness lol. I think it's funny when *some* girl moms are all "eww he's a boy" to their girls, when once these very same girls hit the teenage years (unless they are gay), they will be drooling after and dreaming about the very same boys!!
Boys were never "icky" to me, from the time I was a young girl I had mostly boy friends and preferred them to girls (although I also had a few select girls I was friends with who weren't super girly and were down to earth). The whole concept is so strange to me.