Hope....ful...less...ful....less

[skillet04]

Not sure if this is a safe place to share ....

I am only ever hopeful when I think of all YHWH has said in HIS Word ....

but even that is not enough at times in light of what we see in the day to day and past experience

it is one thing to want more children and have the option because one ovulates like clockwork....it is another thing to desire more children and not ovulate.

as far as I know I have only ever ovulated twice in my adult/married life ...and each time had a boy.

I didn't know an egg was coming .....

I have been here before the thinking well there is always next time .... only next time didn't come ...and had to come to terms with it was just going to be an only child ... a boy that was hard to teach reading and writing and arithmetic to....

13 yrs later talk about btdt or deja groundhog day ....

the lack of a body that works and does what a woman's body should do

not having a job that I loved anymore (and finding a job these days is hard, let alone one with true flexibility for moms)

the looming task of teaching another boy to read and to write and to do math

lack of time and desire to clean and organize the house, even though i'm home all day

just general disappointment with one's life ... feeling trapped in a life that after I came to terms with only the one child i didn't envision ... knowing what the future holds with another only boy to raise...pass the kleenex please, someone stop the merry go round i want off

thanks for letting me share and sending virtual hugs and praying if you are so inclined

[atomic sagebrush]

Sending huge hugs and prayers Skillet. I'm so sorry.

[Mulberry Smurf]

You are not alone, I don't know if that's of any comfort, but you're going through this journey with the support of people who understand where you are and why you're there. xx

[nuthinbutpink]

Im so sorry you are down. I think it is always hard when we have young kids. We vant see past pat a cake and diapers. There is life beyond this. Have you been seen by a doctor?

[atomic sagebrush]

I am bumping for more support for Skillet.

[skillet04]

When I think about some terms like decreasing fertility for maternal condition to try and sway pink....I can't decide if I want to laugh or cry because my fertility is so decreased that I have only ever spontaneously ovulated twice in 14.5 yrs and yet that swayed blue .....

Not to mention when people hear you want daughters they tell you every terrible story under the sun about how so and so mom and daughter didn't get along or so and so daughter was nothing but trouble ....etc ad nauseum .....

They don't realize that I feel like I'm stuck In a déjà Vu scenario....one son was already a teenager and raised with just me as his constant companion only to turn double digits and prefer his dad....and now another only child a boy .... No siblings in age range to play with .....

Yet I can't even try to sway pink if I can't ovulate ....which should indicate less maternal condition ..... Nor if DH and I are not getting along...kinda need his participation ....

Just needed a safe place to share ...thank you for being here

[nuthinbutpink]

Are you under a doctor's care or are you doing this alone?

[Comptokl]

Do you know what's causing you not to ovulate? I'm so sorry DH is not being supportive. That makes it very difficult. Sending you hugs... ️


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[sweetdream]

I'm sorry you're in that place. I hope this little boy is a mama's boy.
Swaying isn't only maternal condition. I believe its more lower maternal condition but above all lower condition and nutrition. And luck. (Sounds so bad) It can be that the times you did ovulate your condition was a bit better then usual.
I've seen ppl holding on for strict sways and been in bad condition not getting pg and when they let the sway just lose a bit got pg and got a boy. (Not to put every sway under a microscope cause strict sways can fail and lose succeed. Thats the degree of luck. You can just up your chances no guarentees

(Let me get this clear its not you and not to compare cause I'm not saying you can do anything to ovulate wich the others Could. Just saying there is more then lowering conception rate.
And if it was a golden ticket then more ppl would be doing it and no one would get opposites.

I truely hope you do get to excperience raising a daughter too soon. Cause its not better or worse then a boy.
I got a couple of hand full drama kings too. And it might be diff then with girls but I don't believe one is worse then the other.
I think ppl say it to compfort you. But I think its not fair to say to you or to their daughters.
Character/upbringing will make the difference not gender.

I do have mama boys though aspecially ds3 (sometimes quite exhausting but so sweet) I wish you the love you need.
And hope you get Your girl. We know how much gende desire hurts. And it must be worse when you cant do a damn thing cause you don't ovulate.

Big hug

[atomic sagebrush]

But the problem is that you have to understand WHAT is making you not ovulate. If it is PCOS, I know it's hard to understand but that is actually caused by too MUCH hormones. It is like how being anorexic can be bad for your health and being overweight can ALSO be bad for your health, you know? It is two ends of the continnuum.

When we say declined maternal condition we mean lower in hormones. The opposite of PCOS. A lot of people have PCOS because they are overweight and eat a lot of calories, fat, carbs. and so to sway pink we go the opposite direction. It's an issue of having too much and the body doesn't know what to do with it all - blood sugar goes up, testosterone rises, and these people stop ovulating but it's because their diet and condition are actually TOO good.

Some people are just unlucky and have PCOS because they have genetic predisposition to it and that is where you are at. I am a little unsure though because I know you were taking some supplements for many years and sometimes they can have strange effects. WE have gotten very good results both for regulating ovulation in those with PCOS, and getting girls, with the alternate LE Diets. But not ovulating but 2 times in 14 years - that is definitely the extreme situation and may need more intense treatment than I am able to give.