Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Struggling...

  1. #1
    Dream Newbie

    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    16
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Struggling...

    Hello. I have not posted since 2015 when I was pregnant with my third son. I had not yet found out his gender and when I found out he was a boy I did not come back on here until now. He is not almost 9 months old (but born 2 months premature) and is such a good baby. I just still cannot get over my desire for a girl. So, here is my story...

    When I was pregnant with my first son my sister and SIL were also pregnant. They both found out they were having girls and I hoped I could join them so we could all have girls and do play dates and all that. Well when I found out it was a boy I was upset, but not too bad because I knew we'd have 2 more kids. A couple of years later I got pregnant again, and just knew it would be a boy. I was right. Again, I was upset but since I kinda expected it it wasn't so bad and I knew I had one more try.
    About a year after that my SIL got pregnant again. Her husband is my husband's brother and they are 2 of 3 boys that my MIL had. That side of the family had only had boys for around 40 years until my niece was born so it came as a shock. So anyway, she ended up with a SECOND girl. It was kind of hard on me to see her have another girl but I put on a good face and even threw her gender reveal party for her.

    This brings us up to yesterday...my OTHER brother-in-law and his wife got pregnant with their first child in November and they are only going to have 1 child. She always said that she wants and would have a girl and she was so confident in that. Well, yesterday she announced that she is having a girl. It was THAT easy for her to get what she wants. Her "one and done" was exactly what she wanted. I can't help but be engulfed in jealousy. I broke out into tears when I saw her announcement and could not function the rest of the night. I just don't understand how BOTH of my BILs who come from a mostly-male family can get pregnant with girls SO easily and their brother, my husband, can only make boys.

    I even swayed with my third boy. All I have wanted my whole life is a daughter. I love my boys and would never give them back but I feel like I have a huge empty space in my life that a daughter would fill. When I see ALL of my friends having girls or have had at least one girl I can't help but feel a little hurt inside and then filled with envy. My husband wants to try again for a girl but I am petrified. What if it is another boy and I can't bear it? I don't want to have resentful feelings. I am going to do all I can to sway even harder if we do go for a girl again.

    Is anyone in the same boat as me??
    Mama to: '11 '13 '15
    Dreaming for a

  2. #2
    Moderator
    nicoler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,191
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    I'm sorry you are struggling. I couldn't just read and run and wanted you to know you're not alone. Both my boys were sway opposites and I recently did an IVF/PGD cycle, which only ended in boys as well. I feel like a girl is totally unattainable for us! I just couldn't even imagine what it would feel like to hear the words "it's a girl!" at an ultrasound or in the delivery room. I'm going to try the HT route again next month. I can't give up on my dream as I know I'd regret it forever. 3 children are the max for us and as bad as it sounds, I'd rather just have my two sweet boys than try again naturally and add a third boy to the mix. I feel awful even typing that. My GD was so terrible with my second DS that there's no way I can ever go through that again. He's not the easiest of children either so it has made my GD very hard to overcome, even long after his birth. Is HT something that's possible for you or something you'd consider? I guess you have to ask yourself if you want another child, regardless of gender, or do you only want a DD?
    (2010) (2013 LE sway opposite) HT (HRC 2018)

    Cycle 1 HRC Nov 2015: 9 retrieved, 6 mature, 5 fertilized, 4 biopsied, 2 normal XY = NT
    Cycle 2 HRC Mar 2016: 13 retrieved, 12 mature, 11 fertilized, 9 biopsied, 6 normal = 5 XX, 1 XY!
    FET #1 Aug 2016: Chemical
    FET #2 Nov 2016 Immune protocol: BFP! HB at 7 and 10 weeks. No HB at 12 weeks Miscarriage.
    FET #3 Aug 2017 Immune protocol: BFP!
    arrived May 2018

  3. Thanks oceancitymom, Throwaway_panther thanked for this post
    Likes maidentomother, Kittybear liked this post
  4. #3
    Dream Vet
    purple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,779
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Sorry you are having a hard time with GD. I would have felt the same way in that situation if my SIL was like that! Its like she is implying that you just really didn't want a girl enough! If only it was that simple to get your desired gender!

    I would probably only go for a 4th if it was HT and I was gaurenteed a girl. That is unlikely to happen for me as we can not justify the cost of the international travel and also it would be too stressful to do I think. If it was available locally I would have considered it for #3.

    Do you have details of your sway for DS3?

    Sept 2008 Sept 2011 March 2017



  5. Likes maidentomother liked this post
  6. #4
    Moderator
    Dreamofpink's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Yorkshire
    Posts
    2,098
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    1
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Is HT an option for you at all? GD is so overwhelming and made harder by those around us who appear to have dds effortlessly. I struggled a lot with GD after ds2 and ds3 who was my sway opposite. DH was adamant that he wanted no more too which made it even harder. I swayed too hard with ds3 which backfired. I will never regret him in a million years but a perfect storm 'hit' in Sept and I conceived our first dd. My DH is son number three of four boys and two of his brothers have at least one dd, now he will too. Men always make sperm that is 50/50, it has much more to do with us and our maternal conditions. HT was really never an option for us but if it is for you, I'd urge you to look into it. ((hugs))

    Three beautiful boys and my longed-for DD due in June 2016!
    2007 2009 2013 (My VBA2C & sway opposite baby)

    So proud to announce that after many long years of GD our precious DAUGHTER joined us in June 2016!!


  7. Likes maidentomother liked this post
  8. #5
    Dream Vet
    maidentomother's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    5,313
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    I don't have children yet, I'm swaying pink for my first (and feel very lucky to have the privilege of doing so), but I think I would feel the same if I were in your situation and everyone else in your family getting girls is just so unfair. I'm sorry, and I agree that maybe you should pursue HT.

    My Ovulation Chart
    currently TTC, Cycle #16 since last BFP

    TTC #1 - swaying pink on & off since Nov 2013 - hoping for a girl first but excited for either!

    Dec 2001 - May 2006 : 5 early abortions of healthy singletons (3 medical @5w, 2 surgical @8w, last 4 pregnancies conceived with late DH, all conceived while TTA/on birth control)
    Mar 2012: miscarried B/G twins @5w (conceived 2 cycles after removìng Paraguard copper IUD while NTNP), one twin was ovarian ectopic

    Me: 34, widowed, late O + short LP, normal-good hormone levels excepting undetectable testosterone, seeking a known sperm donor/life partner
    My sway: vegetarian LE for over 28w, skipping breakfast, fibre (ground psyllium husks) with/before/between meals, physically inactive, drama avoidance, ocassional minimal YesBaby lube as needed, alternate cycles on low dose Clomid, double shot lattes (with meals)
    Past sway tactics I've dropped (in order): Vitex, Sudafed, antihistamines, intermittent fasting, one attempt per cycle at positive OPK, one attempt in fertile period

  9. #6
    Dream Newbie

    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    16
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by purple View Post
    Sorry you are having a hard time with GD. I would have felt the same way in that situation if my SIL was like that! Its like she is implying that you just really didn't want a girl enough! If only it was that simple to get your desired gender!

    I would probably only go for a 4th if it was HT and I was gaurenteed a girl. That is unlikely to happen for me as we can not justify the cost of the international travel and also it would be too stressful to do I think. If it was available locally I would have considered it for #3.

    Do you have details of your sway for DS3?
    I did jump and dump, no O, tried a few days before ovulation, lower calories, shallow entry. That's what I can remember.
    Mama to: '11 '13 '15
    Dreaming for a

  10. #7
    Dream Newbie

    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    16
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamofpink View Post
    Is HT an option for you at all? GD is so overwhelming and made harder by those around us who appear to have dds effortlessly. I struggled a lot with GD after ds2 and ds3 who was my sway opposite. DH was adamant that he wanted no more too which made it even harder. I swayed too hard with ds3 which backfired. I will never regret him in a million years but a perfect storm 'hit' in Sept and I conceived our first dd. My DH is son number three of four boys and two of his brothers have at least one dd, now he will too. Men always make sperm that is 50/50, it has much more to do with us and our maternal conditions. HT was really never an option for us but if it is for you, I'd urge you to look into it. ((hugs))

    Three beautiful boys and my longed-for DD due in June 2016!
    HT is way too expensive for us.
    Mama to: '11 '13 '15
    Dreaming for a

  11. #8
    Dream Vet
    maidentomother's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    5,313
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Was your diet/lifestyle very boy friendly, as per the tenets of this site, prior to conceiving your boys? Did you reduce fat and protein significantly, go vegetarian, and stop snacking when you swayed for DS3? Did you do an hour minimum daily cardio? How long did you diet?
    Last edited by maidentomother; February 7th, 2016 at 01:22 PM.

    My Ovulation Chart
    currently TTC, Cycle #16 since last BFP

    TTC #1 - swaying pink on & off since Nov 2013 - hoping for a girl first but excited for either!

    Dec 2001 - May 2006 : 5 early abortions of healthy singletons (3 medical @5w, 2 surgical @8w, last 4 pregnancies conceived with late DH, all conceived while TTA/on birth control)
    Mar 2012: miscarried B/G twins @5w (conceived 2 cycles after removìng Paraguard copper IUD while NTNP), one twin was ovarian ectopic

    Me: 34, widowed, late O + short LP, normal-good hormone levels excepting undetectable testosterone, seeking a known sperm donor/life partner
    My sway: vegetarian LE for over 28w, skipping breakfast, fibre (ground psyllium husks) with/before/between meals, physically inactive, drama avoidance, ocassional minimal YesBaby lube as needed, alternate cycles on low dose Clomid, double shot lattes (with meals)
    Past sway tactics I've dropped (in order): Vitex, Sudafed, antihistamines, intermittent fasting, one attempt per cycle at positive OPK, one attempt in fertile period

  12. #9
    Dream Newbie

    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    16
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by maidentomother View Post
    Was your diet/lifestyle very boy friendly, as per the tenets of this site, prior to conceiving your boys? Did you reduce fat and protein significantly, go vegetarian, and stop snacking when you swayed for DS3? Did you do an hour minimum daily cardio? How long did you diet?
    I'm underweight so already have trouble getting in calories. I always ate breakfast (or I feel faint) and coffee. Then I didn't really eat much during the day until I got home. I am a teacher so I would eat something small when I got a chance. I exercised a few days a week but not as much as I guess I should have. Other than that I'm not sure if my specific food intake.
    Mama to: '11 '13 '15
    Dreaming for a

  13. #10
    Dream Vet
    maidentomother's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    5,313
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    I think you have a very good chance at a girl if you sway again, count cals/do the diet properly, and exercise 60+ minutes every day. It can definitely be done without losing too much weight. I've been able to maintain my weight for over a year of swaying even though I am thin to begin with. Oh and if you can get Clomid/Femara that will help too!

    My Ovulation Chart
    currently TTC, Cycle #16 since last BFP

    TTC #1 - swaying pink on & off since Nov 2013 - hoping for a girl first but excited for either!

    Dec 2001 - May 2006 : 5 early abortions of healthy singletons (3 medical @5w, 2 surgical @8w, last 4 pregnancies conceived with late DH, all conceived while TTA/on birth control)
    Mar 2012: miscarried B/G twins @5w (conceived 2 cycles after removìng Paraguard copper IUD while NTNP), one twin was ovarian ectopic

    Me: 34, widowed, late O + short LP, normal-good hormone levels excepting undetectable testosterone, seeking a known sperm donor/life partner
    My sway: vegetarian LE for over 28w, skipping breakfast, fibre (ground psyllium husks) with/before/between meals, physically inactive, drama avoidance, ocassional minimal YesBaby lube as needed, alternate cycles on low dose Clomid, double shot lattes (with meals)
    Past sway tactics I've dropped (in order): Vitex, Sudafed, antihistamines, intermittent fasting, one attempt per cycle at positive OPK, one attempt in fertile period

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Struggling...
    By Mary Poppins in forum Trying to Conceive a Girl
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: October 25th, 2014, 04:07 PM
  2. Struggling with gd...
    By Leokat in forum Gender Disappointment
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: November 14th, 2013, 02:26 PM
  3. Still struggling with a name!
    By weeziewoozles in forum Due in June, July, August 2013
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: June 21st, 2013, 04:57 AM
  4. Struggling to get CM
    By Ipadmad in forum Trying to Conceive a Girl
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: November 3rd, 2012, 10:39 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •