Swaying - my thoughts on what you should consider going in - you should want an opposite (!)

[ChezIBY]

Hi ladies swaying, expecting and otherwise

I'm currently waiting to sway sometime in the future (DD is eight months old, I am breastfeeding her and have yet to see my period show its ugly face again - not that I'm complaining and in general obviously I want to feel like my body and health are all back on track before going in for number two

That being said, I do pop on and follow what everyone else is up to from time to time, living vicariously so to speak. I am very happy for everyone who has successfully conceived and is expecting as of this moment Safe pregnancies all around <3

I have a bit of a thought I'd like to share though. Hopefully no one will take this the wrong way, and, if it is inappropriate, Atomic can always snip the thread, no problem.

Anyway, ladies: you know how Atomic says that the best way to fight disappointment and possible GD following a 'failed' sway is to go in thinking you might have gotten an opposite till you know? I will push this further: I believe you need to want a gender opposite, at least a little bit, when you go in.

In my opinion, Atomic and the team are perfectly helpful, always prompt and very transparent about the techniques and expected outcomes. You are swaying to increase the probability that you will end up with a child of your DG. BUT! This is the whole thing with probability, even IF you have a picture perfect sway and do EVERYTHING 'right', you might still have a kid of the opposite gender than what you swayed for. The probability is lower, and frankly, speaking as someone with scientific training, the team here at GD have done a great job at budging the odds. Increasing the odds from fifty fifty to anywhere at sixty forty or even seventy thirty is HUGE. But, but, but, I seem to detect some expectations that people have where they go in, like, 'I will sway great and then I MUST get my DG for sure, period'.

No. Statistically, seventy-thirty odds mean that out of ten girls swaying, three will get an opposite and seven will get the desired result. Or it means that if you have ten kids, you will probably end up with three of one and seven of the other if you follow the sway each time. And you have equal chances of being one of the three and one of the seven each time. I believe realising this early on and sort of letting go a bit of your obsession with your DG can be a very good thing. You can sway away with a clear conscience then, give it your best shot and go with the flow, knowing that even if the dice rolls the other way, you will be ok. You won't go through a kaleidoscope of denial, anger, blaming yourself and the people here who were helping you with your sway.

In short - you have to be a hundred percent ok with a kid of the opposite gender. They even have that in their questionnaire. Don't freak out if you feel you are not yet 'there', but definitely consider this if you are swaying or planning to sway. And - this shouldn't stop you from putting in your absolute best effort for the sway; Good luck

[Blushpinkbabyxx]

This, or something better

Your post is a good reminder to try what you can, but let things go that are out of our control, clear your mind and embrace what is meant to be for us. The saying “this or something better” comes to mind when I read your post. Thanks for posting this!

[Throwaway_panther]

How funny, I just stalked your profile wondering how you were doing and now here you are! How are you and little one?!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi Chez! Thanks for posting!

[ChezIBY]

How funny, I just stalked your profile wondering how you were doing and now here you are! How are you and little one?!

Hi Panther!!

We are doing pretty well, thanks!! How are you and your fam? Yeah, I can see your signature - waiting and hoping for good news then? How are you feeling?? How is your LG?

I'm honestly feeling really, really well (oof) Bit weird to think of the GD I had last year now; having a girl isn't anything like I'd thought it would be so far. I thought the house would get transformed into an explosion of pink and frills and she'd be somehow whiny and prissy (ok, ok, I know that's pretty dumb), but, while obviously we got some overly candyfloss style clothes and toys as gifts, I just put the stuff I don't want away in boxes and kept the feminine yet not OTP stuff out, and as for baby, she and I are quite the chums She has a really really nice personality, she likes playing on her own but also when someone plays with her, laughs ALL the time which is so sweet and has never been sick in her eight and a half months. Sleeps like a log for twelve plus hours (I accidentally set the alarm off yesterday night and it didn't even wake her, she was just snorting and turning, true story..) and eats really well. I also kind of thought she'd be wary of people she doesn't know, but she's quite outgoing and whenever I see friends she'll be happy to have someone cuddle her and sit in their lap. No, all things considered, the hardest thing for me since she arrived has been the breast abscess episode, thank heaven that's far behind now! I'm BF and planning to go till one year, once she's weaned and I see my period return, me and hubby are planning on waiting a few cycles to make sure it's all back to normal and then go for it for number two (and the blue sway). I dropped all the weight I'd put on pretty fast and have been doing yoga and ab + pelvic floor strengthening for a while, so feel that would be ok by the time I get on with number two! But you know, I don't feel like it's such an emergency now, and I do feel like I'd be a hundred percent fine with a 'fail' because LG is so sweet, I kind of feel like I'd be ok with a second, like a pal for her. There's a thread been posted a bit after mine from this girl who wants to pink sway again after BBG cause she feels her LG would bond great with another sister - makes you think!

All things considered though.. I will still sway blue best as I can