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  1. #11
    Big Dreamer

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    Quote Originally Posted by trifecta View Post
    It's very hard to watch someone you dislike effortlessly get what you struggle for but it's possible that she's not judging anyone when she says she doesn't let her kids watch TV. She could just be making an attempt at joining the group conversation when she tells you about how she handles TV in her household and it's rubbing people the wrong way. I had similarly rigid standards about technology when my first child was little (like many mothers I loosened up a lot about that stuff when I had my second, and my kids are currently watching a vintage episode of Full House, lol). Mentioning it didn't mean I didn't like other mothers or didn't think they were good parents.
    Trifecta I totally agree it could be that when you read it without the context of tone but she actually isn't super friendly and the only times I really hear her input things is when it is of a critical nature. Like she also commented on the choice of one woman's snacks for her daughter - she said "that has a lot of sugar" (about a granola bar with choc chips). Is that necessary? To shame her in front of all of us? To me, no it is not. Maybe that is all she had in the house. Maybe she had a rough night and just got out the door to meet her mommy friends that brings her the sanity of adult conversation. Maybe it is a one off. Anyway, someone else's view of what is a good snack isn't really anyone else's business, you know? I wish I had stood up for her, tbh, but I was a bit shell shocked because I would never dare to criticize what someone else feeds their kid. It is not my place. If she said one thing with questionable intent after a majority of nice, supportive comments, I totally would give her the benefit of the doubt. But I have never heard her say one kind thing about another mom. And, imo, if you have a circle of mom friends, it is important to remind them they are doing a good job and praise what you see that is good. My BF sometimes will play devil's advocate if I talk to her about a parenting trouble I am having with my eldest but she does it in the most kind and loving way. And she always tell me I think you're a great mom.

    But, again, I do understand what you are saying. I also was more strict about tv with my first than my second (actually, more strict about everything) but I would never have said it that way "we don't allow Disney in our house". I probably would have phrased it more like "oh what is that? My son has not seen it yet or does not know the story." Without the need to emphasize "we don't *allow* it". I think it was unnecessary and two other moms looked at each other and rolled their eyes so it definitely wasn't just me who was rubbed the wrong way.

    At any rate, thanks for the reply as it is a good reminder to always look at an interaction without prejudgement and we all need that reminder I think.

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  3. #12
    Dream User

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    Quote Originally Posted by dreamofdaughter View Post
    I believe another child is coming. I have dreamed of carrying another child that is smiling up at me. I don't know if it will be a boy or a girl and I am slowly, slowly getting to the point where that matters less and less to me. And maybe I won't see that child until I am in heaven, who knows? But I believe that soul is waiting for me just as my boys found me, so will this soul.

    On Mother's Day, DH asked me what is the best part of being a mom and I said, it's watching this person grow and change and develop this amazing personality and know that I have a small part in helping them reach their potential by loving them, taking care of them, teaching them. Best job in the world, to get to love someone that much and be loved in return is the greatest gift, imo. I am so lucky to get to do it twice and part of my healing is reminding myself of that every day. Not what I think I am missing, but what I already have.
    Ah, beautiful!! Exactly the mindset I'm working on, too! This is what we need more of on this planet!
    DW + DH +
    ... and due with another in Dec 2019 after a failed pink sway

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