Depressed

[Mrs_P]

I hope your family are supportive for you, we've put off telling everyone as we know what the response will be (my family think 3 is more than enough and my mom already told me i was not allowed any more) but i'm sure (or rather hope) they will come round when i'm brave enough to share. I'm so close to my mom i hate keeping a secret from her and i really don't want to let her down but i knew i wanted one more and would regret it if i didn't try for my daughter.

The girls on here really are great support though, i had gd really bad with ds3, hit rock bottom and there was no one i could turn to - it makes such a difference to have this refuge

[KidAtHeart]

I just started to tell a few people (I'm 9 weeks along) and I feel SO much better. While keeping it a secret helps to keep your options wide open (no one can judge you if they don't know), I knew in my heart that I was going to have this baby, God willing. For that matter, I feel like this baby (like my other three) was determined to be part of this family - boy or girl. Boy, probably. Ha! It was such a narrow window of conception, there were only two times we didn't use protection. We went through HT, two failed cycles, and told NO one. Not a soul. But I just couldn't get rid of this feeling - like if we were willing to have a fourth through HT, even if it was a failure, that there was an option of letting fate take its course and maybe, just maybe having a girl the natural way.

I was just starting to see the light too, as my third turned four recently and has gone from devil whirlwind to charming little boy. I just keep thinking - I've got to look ahead. As in, five, ten, twenty years from now. Something about this baby will make it so it was meant to be. They say you never regret the children you do have, only those you don't. I'm clinging to that one now.

Good luck - maybe by opening up about it (not only here, but in real life), you may lighten your burden.

[coelhos12]

Whether you decide to have or not to have this child is up to you and your husband. Don't worry about what other people think. You and your husband are the ones who would have to raise this child and put up with all the financial/physical/emotional/psychological burden that involves having a child. People love to talk and give their opinions, but easier said than done. Just do what you think it's best for you and your family. Hope everything works out for you!

[fish2012]

I know how you feel a little I was on the pill when I got preggie with ds2, ds1 was only 7months I had researched swaying but not started from the moment I got my bfp I knew in my heart it was a boy

I considered a termination I was still early enough for just the pills my dh wouldn't consider it and I now thank god for my ds2 every day he is the apple of his daddy's eye he's the cutest (not just my option) and loves to snuggle where as ds1 has always been so independent But i didn't enjoy my second pregnancy and his birth was marred for me by him being a boy

We have being ttc a girl for 7 months now I haven't been ovulating and now I wish I'd found it in myself to enjoy what may be last pregnancy

I am so glad you have us to share with I had no one to talk too and just felt guilty for my whole pregnancy and first three months of ds2's life until I found out about swaying and his character emerged

I thank god for him he is what my family needed although its taken this journey to realise it.

Please don't read this as judgement your post made me cry I pray you are carrying a healthy girl and if not i hope you can clearly see the right path for your family please keep us updated you are precious and perfect I hope we can provide the support you deserve xx

[Sugaree]

I'm sorry for not responding sooner. I kind of needed to shut down and just think about things. I just wanted to take a minute to thank you all for your support and kind words. I've read them over and over, you have no idea how much they mean to me. Thank you.

I'll update when I know more or have made a decision. I'm leaning heavily one way (not aborting) but haven't decided for sure. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday and will talk to her about everything then. maybe even seek a referral to counseling.

Thank you all again.

[Mrs_P]

Hope you are coping ok x

[auroara78]

Aye, hope you are OK and would love to hear an update.

[Sugaree]

I'm still waiting on results. It's been over two weeks and I'm starting to feel hopeful but then I get scared. the results could be delayed because of the holiday so I really shouldn't be getting my hopes up. I have so much anxiety. I know either way that keeping this baby is going to be hard. I really don't know how we're going to manage. My husband is so stressed, I'm not sure our marriage will survive this.

I'll update when I know more. Thanks again everyone for the support.

[Mrs_P]

Well thats got to be good news so far thats it taking longer. Hoping you are holding in there ok have been thinking about you

[Yuzu]

Oh Sugaree, I am thinking of you and I wish you peace in whatever your decision may be. Know that we here on the forum will support you.