Family Making Gender Disappointment Worse?

[ladymclemore]

Hello!
I am new here and this is my first child.
I am currently 13 weeks and just had my second ultrasound. The tech said the basic, "it is too early to tell so we won't be looking for any boy/girl parts blah blah blah", but then the baby opened his little legs and there it was...pretty obvious boy parts! She looked surprised and said, "Well, it is possible that the nub turns into girl parts. Puhlease! That baby is all boy, I saw it myself.

Anyway, to get to the point of my post. My husband, mom and nana were in there with me and you could almost feel the collective sigh of disappointment (from all except my husband who is thrilled). My parents have all grandsons and wanted a granddaughter so badly. While in the waiting room my mom said...well what can ya do? What can I do!? How about be happy that I am having a baby at all! Yes it is true, I wanted a little girl, I have wanted a little girl my whole life but who is to say that because my first might be a boy that I will never get my little girl!?

I am sick of hearing from family members, "I think you're the one that gives us a girl!" or "I'm hoping for pink this time!" Excuse me, I didn't realize I needed to place the order for a girl in so YOU all are not disappointed! I have to deal with my own feelings about it, but I feel I am more angry at my family's response and it just makes me wish it was a girl even more so they'd all just be happy and shut up about it!

The worst part is my bratty younger sister is pregnant also, a few weeks behind me. She has one son and wants a little girl so badly. She is so snarky about it, she has been saying this whole time "you're going to have a boy and I will get the first girl, I can just feel it". I don't even want to tell her what I saw on the screen because I don't want her to gloat! How annoying!

Have any of you dealt with family members making your GD worse?

[Tiggerian]

Well first of all - those boy parts arent necessarily boy parts. That age the genitals in a girl can swell up and look like boy parts. So don't give up completely. It is quite early to tell yet.

But yes, families DON'T make it easier. When we were expecting DS2 it was made very clear every one hoped for a girl. My MiL Had 3 grandsons and 1 granddaughter then and my FiL only had our son. WHen we announced that we were having another son, well, every one just stopped caring about it! No one asked or were concerned.. it wasn't very nice! We didn't even get replies to our txt saying baby boy was a-okay even though we got enthuasistic replies after the 12 week scan.

Luckily they love him just the same, but there's definitely a competition in the family - who gets the next girl!? One of my SiL had a psychic reading saying she'd have the last girl in the family for a generation. Erh.. okay!

I wouldn't pay attention to your hormonella sister. Its only your first child. You could easily have a girl next time and why shouldn't you!?

[wildwooddays]

I agree, too early to tell. The nubs look alike at that stage. As for family, I am sorry they are being so unsupportive. My bro and SIL have a girl after a boy and it's so obvious that everyone adores her. She and my mom even go shopping together for girlie stuff. My mom hints that she hopes I have a girl. And it's bad enough that I want one myself and I'm pretty sure it's a boy!
Just remember they will love this baby no matter what the gender and if they care that much what it is, they shouldn't be around the baby.

[ladymclemore]

Thanks for the hope ladies! The tech was pretty sure it was a boy and so am I but maybe it will be a girl...either way I want one of each so while I would like it to be a girl, if it is a boy I am trying not to be disappointed. I just hate that family makes you feel lesser for having a boy!

[odd]

I so agree - It's like we want one sex over the other just so we don't disspoint friends or family - I am not even close to being pregnant yet and hardly anyone knows I'm even considering it, but that still doesn't stop family and friends from saying that if and when we do have another, we'll end up with another boy because boys run in my husband's side of the family..UGH!!!