Just when you think your GD is gone it sneaks up on you!

[Navywife620]

I had my third baby boy in October. He is the most sweetest calm baby. Seriously a dream baby! I thought I was content and happy with my three boys. I felt I could move on and continue my life with just my boys. Well my best friend had her first baby a few days ago and it was a girl. Ever since then it is like my wound has been reopened again. I am now constantly looking and seeing everyone around me that has both genders in their families. I feel jealous and sad. Asking myself why me again. I don't want anymore kids.. So I will have to just push through these feelings and ignore them. Hopefully it will pass soon.

[hotdogz&boyz]

I'm sorry. I am sure there will be moments, down the road, that will make that feel fresh again. I bet they will be few and far between as you move further from them (I am told that as the kids age, their genders become less important. I don't know if that is true, but I do notice people talk about it less once you are out of the childbearing years).

I have several friends who have three little boys and it's so cool to see their families. It's something special for sure. There was just a blog I read a bit ago that was about that very thing (sort of about GD, but also about a mom who felt really honored to have three boys entrusted to her care. I'll see if I can dig it up).

I hope the sting dies down.

[ocean]

You're not at all alone to have a resurgence of sensitivity when a trigger event happens. It's like a bell being rung - there are reverberating ricochets for a while, but after a while the bell is silent again.

Be patient with yourself, and be kind. There are people who are jealous of your life just like you might be jealous of others - for a bit - but then we all continue on with our lives, living each day, hugging our kids, working, etc.

If it were me, I would write out the pain you're feeling in a diary - get it all out, wallow if you need to - and then get back to your life. I couldn't just ignore. But push through, yes.

[motherofboys]

Hey Navy, I was in the October due dates thread with you. And as happy as I am with my 4 boys, I've dipped a few times back into the world of GD. DH said he didn't want any more and it made me realise that I actually would not ever get a girl. And while his reasons made sense and when I pictured the future he spoke about it seemed almost perfect and I wanted that, my GD was so strong I just couldn't get my head around not having one more try. He has now said if we move in the next couple of years then we can have one more. But its not a definite, and so I'm trying to deal with the fact the future may not include a daughter for me.

One thing I'm concentrating on is building a close relationship with my boys, and hopefully between them, in the hope that when they are older they will want me around and come home with their wives and children and ask me to baby sit, and I'll get to be close to any future granddaughters.

[BZ94]

Hi Navy Wife I remember you from when I was swaying and ttc. I read your post at 4 am last night (this morning?) while listening to DS3 cry (see my post in the parents of babies section about sleep training, ugh) and I wanted to respond. I too swayed, failed, am definitely done having kids, and now have to accept life with three boys. Like you, I adore my third boy, he's a great baby, totally adorable, and stole my heart from the start (as I knew he would). However I also have GD setbacks from time to time. Triggers include friends or relatives having girls (especially if they already have boys), hearing people talk about how much better behaved little girls are than (my) boys, days when my boys are acting crazy, days when the baby won't sleep and I think (guiltily) of how much easier life would be with just two, and walking by cute girls' clothes and girls' bedroom decorations (I used to design clothes for a teen girl brand and did packaging design for a teen cosmetics line -- my whole life was GIRLY!). The only thing I can do to combat the disappointment is to hug my boys, appreciate them for who they are instead of who I want them to be, realize that some gender stereotype don't have to hold true (DS1 loves musical theater and attends plays with me all the time), and hope that one day I'll have daughter in laws and granddaughters to fill the gap. I also use humor to hide my disappointment from the world and have thought about starting a blog...feel free to facebook add me (Brooke Zelwin) -- I try to post entertaining stories about life with three boys frim time to time. Good luck!