4th son in the way, am I horrible for planning pgd?

[Ladytara]

Exactly what I put in title.
I am 20 weeks with son number four and for the last 3 weeks have discussed and decided to do Ivf pgd for a girl. I think I'm mad as I will then have five children! My mum said try naturally but I know I would then have six and on and on
I have a hectic household as it is and I know I would find it hard with four kids let alone five but the desire for a girl is to much for me to accept it won't happen
I feel better knowing next year I could possible be starting a journey to have a daughter but then I get the guilt as I'm still carrying my baby bit

I don't know, it feels right and wrong at the same time
Tara x

[txmomof3beautifulboys]

I think if you can handle four, you can probably handle one more If its your hearts desire, I say go for it. I have 3 boys, so I know how you feel and the desire to have a daughter. Good luck to you!!

[Ladytara]

Thank you!!!

[BabyGirl2013]

I know how you feel. I planned High Tech as soon as I found out my third baby was going to be a boy. I felt guilty for not focusing on him, but I knew HT would be our next step. That baby boy (whom I love ridiculously and couldn't imagine my life without!) is now 11 months old and I just did my first IVF cycle. Sadly, we just found out that we only have one normal XY out of that round. I even felt guilty the whole time I was going through the cycle b/c I was taking time to do injections and go to appointments...all while my baby boy was growing up before my eyes. It's not that you don't love the baby you have, but you just miss the baby girl you don't have. Anyway, we're going to go back to swaying. I don't think I can stomach another round of IVF...financially or emotionally. Good luck to you!

[Ladytara]

Babygirl2013 sorry to hear about your cycle! Did you sperm sort to get more of dg?
I thought of swaying as then would save almost £10k but the thought of doing it purely to get a girl and then to get another boy scares me as I know I would want to go again and in all honesty I can't imagine having that bigger family. I'm already feeling bad that the others will go without luxuries for me to try again

[PrimalMamma]

Ladytara, two things: first, all my friends with big families say once you've had 4 kids any more doesn't make a difference they just fit in. Secondly, regarding luxuries. I'm in a very financially difficult situation, my husband earns a low income & I only work part time so we barely cover the essentials & there is no such thing as luxuries in my house for anyone. Guess what? My kids don't care. They do not care that we don't own a computer or iPads & that the only Internet is on my mobile phone or at the library. They don't care that our house is old & we can't afford to renovate it. They don't care that they wear hand-me-downs and second hand clothes, they don't care that we never go out for dinner or get takeaway food & they have no idea that going to the park is any less exciting than a family holiday (which they have never been on & probably will never go on, unless we win something!) My son thinks his government school is the best school in the world & they have never heard of cable TV. The greatest gift you can give your children is a sibling. I wouldn't change our lot for a million dollars.

[nearlyalegume]

Not horrible at all. If we could afford it, if it was actually legal to do here in Australia and didn't require us to go overseas for it, I'd be insisting on going HT for a daughter next time, which would be baby #4 after three boys. If that's something that you really want and it's feasible for you, then go for it! If that's what is going to get you through the GD this time, holding onto that hope, then absolutely!

It would be lovely to be able to imagine your family and have it just magically turn out that way. Some people are that lucky. Some people, as evidenced by all the people on these forums, are decidedly not. Sometimes Mother Nature needs a kick in the pants, and it's fortunate that the technology is available to administer that kick.

I wish it was a possibility for us, but gender selection is only available if there's a genetic disorder that affects one gender but not the other. It's horribly unfair. (Personally, I think it should be available to anyone with two or more of the same gender, and certainly three or more - we've paid our dues in spending literally years pregnant only to not get our DG any of those times, after all!)

[PrimalMamma]

Nearlyalegume I'm in Australia too & feel the same way. I don't understand how HT isn't available here & why everyone in this country has to be so obsessed & opinionated about choices that don't affect them AT ALL. It's ridiculous.