The old feelings are creeping in.....

[milly29]

No need to reply but I think just by writing this down it may help me.....Im currently 12 weeks with no 3 who I have swayed pink for. I already have to lovely sons and I not going to lie - absolutely desperately want a girl. My last pregnancy 4 years ago was shadowed by gender disappointment although I hid it from everyone, and of course fell totally head over heels with my little man as soon as he was here but then suffered terrible post natal depression and anxiety, not totally due to gender dis but it did add towards it.

Anyway me and OH have had some tough times the last few years and sorted things out and decided to go for no 3 with a pink sway. I initially felt really confident and okay with the fact that I could also have baby boy no 3 and I really thought Id got my head round that but since me 12 week ultrasound my heads been all over the place.

Silly thing is I know I will love him and I know everything will be okay but I still cant seem to snap out of it. Very frustrating. Im having a secret scan just me on my own at 13 weeks for them to give me a 95% guess at the gender and then a gender scan at 16 weeks which only myself and my OH will know about so at least I will soon know either way whether pink or blue, I just hate feeling like this and feel so guilty.

I feel really ungrateful as there are some of my friends going through infertility and here I am pregnant again with no 3 with no problems yet these feelings are still there. Ive got so much to be grateful and happy for, a lovely house, lifestyle, 2 healthy children, great friends and family and yet I feel so bleuuuugh! It really does suck!

Hoping that just getting this off my chest will give me the kick up the backside that I badly need......Just need to focus, take one day at the time & be positive.....

Thanks for listening x

[pink_bean]

I was listening, and I understand! Wish you luck, hun. Congrats on baby no. 3

[BellaVita]

I completely understand and can relate. We are in similar shoes and I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant with a private scan scheduled for Oct. 9th. I seemed to be okay and didn't even focus on gender too much until I booked the scan. Those old, ugly feelings I pushed aside are creeping back in and I don't like it. Just letting you know you aren't alone. Big hugs and good luck!

[milly29]

Thank you ladies, nice to know I'm not alone. I've woken up today completely different and feeling really positive. The roller coaster of emotions that is GD!!

[BellaVita]

Thank you ladies, nice to know I'm not alone. I've woken up today completely different and feeling really positive. The roller coaster of emotions that is GD!!

Roller coaster indeed! So glad to hear you're feeling better today.

[Poptart32]

I'm exactly the same as you except that im not preg with my third yet! 3 people close to me have found out they're having girls after all boys and though I'm happy for them I feel upset and jealous too which I really don't like feeling! I cried after finding out my SIL was pregnant with a girl yday and feel like a total b*tch now today! I have the most beautiful, charismatic boys but I do feel an emptiness within me. So you're definitely not alone! X


DS #1 DS #2 ttc #3 using a girl sway

[milly29]

It really is awful isn't it?? Im generally a very happy positive non-jealous person but this is a really sensitive subject to me & I can't help but feel jealous when people announce they are having a girl or already have girls. I always wanted a mixture of both girls and boys which Im pleased I have got my lovely sons, but I have got this little tiny piece of emptiness in me and a longing for a girl - always have and always will. Having an okay-ish day today, have a scan booked on Thursday which no-one knows im going too, not even my husband where they will give me a 95% guess at gender. Feel like throwing up.....just need to know either way so I can move on - in limbo land at the moment x

[Poptart32]

Yes same as me! Ive always wanted 2 boys and a girl but if I had one of each already I totally wouldn't mind what I had but because I know this is my last im desperate for it to be pink! Yes I think it's wise to get the scan as I know someone who was sure she was having a girl for her third did some sort of sway (not sure what exactly) and didn't find out and he came out a boy and she then felt she wished she could have prepared herself mentally as she was sure he was a she! Good luck keep us posted x


DS #1 DS #2 ttc #3 using a girl sway

[milly29]

Oh I'm gonna be fully prepared this time. I've followed a sway plan bought on here and we've done all we can so at least I can say I tried to get a girl and then if it's a boy I will just know that that is what's meant for me, and I do accept that.....but it's still just hard and for as long as I live I'll always have that tiny bit of longing for a girl. I'm pretty sure they are going to tell me boy just by going by my last scan and the "feeling" I have, when you know you! Will update on Thursday, thanks for understanding and listening, it means a lot to know that I'm not the only one, and I keep these feelings very private for everyone else, I'm very good at putting a happy face on! X

[2boymamma1984]

I hope you get your daughter. Even though I know you will ador another son... We all understand the desire to have the gender you want can be overwhelming! I found myself jealous of celebrities and strangers I saw in public. It is such a bad feeling.

Best of luck and I think going alone then with your husband is the best choice! You will have time to accept or celebrate without others judging!

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