Originally Posted by
2xblue
We found out we're having our third boy almost two weeks ago. I swayed so hard for this one, did absolutely everything I could to have a little girl but failed. I'm having such a hard time dealing with this. I had really high hopes for this one being a girl as I had a pretty good sway. Maybe it makes it even harder to accept.
I'm now 14 weeks pregnant. I feel no excitement for this baby or pregnancy. I've been trying to think names (there is one I like) and bought some clothes for him but I feel nothing but sadness. I don't feel him moving yet and I'm scared when I will, then he really is there. It sounds so horrible to say this but these are my feelings right now.
This is our last child. I had to convince DH for a third and it wasn't easy. I wish I would've been happy with my two boys and not wanting a third one. Three boys is really not what I wanted. First when I started planning on a third one I wanted to go HT but DH was really against it. So here I am, a mother of three boys. I should have known we only make boys. I really wish I wasn't pregnant. Life would be so much easier with my two boys.
I've been crying alot. I feel so guilty feeling this way. I know every child is a blessing. I love my boys but it's just so hard to accept not having a daughter, ever. I'm scared to tell everyone it's another boy. I'm scared of people's reactions. I feel guilty that I wanted a third child so badly and my poor DH agreed even though he really didn't want a third. And now he has to see me like this, not wanting this child.
Almost everyone I know have a pigeon pair or have a girl after two boys. My friend just had her baby girl after two boys. She asked me to be that baby girl's godmother. I'm happy that she asked. Maybe I can have a good relationship with that girl and buy her girly things as I will never have a girl of my own.
I really hope as the time goes on I will find some peace. I'm little bit regretting finding out the gender. Maybe I should have been team green. I hate to feel so sad when I'm pregnant. But I decided to find out so I could prepare my self for a boy but this is hard, harder than I ever thought it would be. Maybe it would have been easier to find out at birth. But I was scared I would be so sad holding a newborn and I didn't want that. Well, now I know the gender and I have to live with that. I hope everything will be fine when I hold him...