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  1. #21
    Dreamer

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    2xblue, I did not find out with ds4. I wanted a girl but my boys all wanted another brother, so that helped. I still want a girl. Doubt that will ever go away. But when I look at my 4 boys, I cannot choose which ones I wish had been girls. They are each perfect the way they are.

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    2006 2008 2011 2013 Due 2017

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  3. #22
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    Dalmad, I'm glad this thread helps you! While I feel sad coming here as it reminds me of the dream of a daughter I also love this forum at the same time. It helps alot to write down these feelings and have support from you ladies! I think about my sway alot too. What if I hadn't eaten so many sweets (even though I was in limits of LE), hadn't increased dairy and eggs because my luteal phase was getting really short... But I still know I did everything I could.

    Raezodal, that's lovely your sons hoped for a brother. Do you think you will ever go for a 5th child?

    I've been secretly hoping we could try for a 4th child some day and try HT but I know it probably never happens as my DH is really really against 4th (and HT). I will be 32 soon and I know chances for a successfull HT decreases when we get older...
    2010 (confirmed boy)
    2011 2014 2016

  4. #23
    Dreamer

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    2xblue, yes, we will try for a 5th. I wanted to try basically right away after ds4 was born. It took a while for my dh to agree...he would state all the reasons it is easier to stick with 4. He finally came around when ds4 turned 2. We shall see.

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  6. #24
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    Raezodal, are you going to sway?

    I think I'm crazy to even hope we would try for a 4th child. I can't even say it to my DH because he would be mad at me I think as I promised him I wouldn't want a 4th one when he agreed for a third. High tech is just so intriguing. Either it works and I would be pregnant with a girl or then it wouldn't work and I would move on with our three sons. I think I would never try swaying again. But saying all this, I'm pretty sure DH will never agree having a 4th. I just can't help myself thinking about it, it brings hope. It just breaks my heart to see little girls with their moms or dads. Or see all the lovely girl clothes in the stores. I had a weird moment this week. I was walking outside with my boys and I was thinking about the daughter I will never have and thought about this little boy in my belly. We weren't talking anything about the baby and suddenly my DS1 asked am I going to have another baby after this. I asked him would he want that and he said yes. Awwww... he is a lovely boy and so is DS2, I love them more than anything. And I will love this new little boy as well. It brings tears to my eyes that I've been feeling so sad about this pregnancy, it's not what my DS3 deserves.

    One dad I know asked one day do we know what we're having. I said boy and he said oh wow, that broughts a lot of emotions. And told he has one friend with 3 boys and we will survive with three boys as they have too. I know he meant well but I just hate these comments. But I also got a nice comment this week from a friend of mine who just got her 2nd girl. She send me a message that it will be a nice brother trio and she put three blue hearts in the end. It felt good. Why all the comments couldn't be nice and supportive!? And that a third boy will be a lovely addition to our family. It would help my own feelings a lot but of course people just don't get it and they don't know how much I hoped for a girl and how sad I've been.
    Last edited by 2xblue; April 23rd, 2016 at 02:21 PM.
    2010 (confirmed boy)
    2011 2014 2016

  7. #25
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    2xblue, I was hoping to sway. I had trouble with the LE diet though - I'm still nursing my youngest and I have a lot of food restrictions as it is. And since I couldn't fit in 60min blocks for exercise, I am trying to be a couch potato...but that is tough with 4 active boys and a non-car-dependent lifestyle. Dh and I decided to take a bit of a break from ttc and my meagre attempts at the diet while I was having a bunch of tests run trying to figure out what is causing my food issues. And then this last cycle, I ovulated way early in my cycle with none of my normal pre-o symptoms. So I hadn't started checking opks yet or have dh release daily or anything...and we bd the one night and my temp went up the next morning. So it is all a waiting game right now.... I will be sad if I never have a little girl...I just feel like she is out there, waiting to come join our family. At the same time, I think I might just be too much of a control freak to ever get her. If I don't end up pregnant in a week, I am starting to think maybe I will wean my ds4 and see if I can manage the LE diet better.

    And I know what you mean about holding out hope for one more attempt, one more chance at that girl. I hate admitting it to anyone. The other moms I know who just have boys wanted only boys so they don't understand how I could possibly want a girl.

    And yes, gets me every time I see a mom or dad out with their daughter. Or the girl clothing section (though my ds3 loves to shop for clothes there so it has gotten a bit easier with exposure).

    Your boys sound sweet. My ds1 started telling everyone when my ds3 turned 1 that I was having another baby. I didn't get pregnant with ds4 until ds3 was 2. He was certain that we needed one more as soon as there wasn't a "baby" in the house anymore. Maybe your ds1 will be similar and help your dh be willing to have a 4th?

    I've been told several times there is a special place reserved in heaven for moms of 3 or more boys. The best was when I had an elderly gentleman stop me to tell me that his mom had had 3 boys and watching me with my boys reminded him of her and warmed his heart. There are decent people out there who can manage comments other than "wow, you must be so busy" or "wow, your house must vibrate with energy" or the one I hate the most "were you trying for a girl?"

    I was super sad through my pregnancy with ds3 from when I found out he was a boy. But it lessened once I had him in my arms. Still an occasional twinge sometimes, but easier to move along from.

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  8. #26
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    That's exciting. I really hope you will get your DD. Your boys sound so sweet too. And that comment from an elderly gentleman, how sweet! I really doubt my DH will agree to 4th, no matter what I say or our boys say. Maybe if we win the lottery he will agree. He is just so concerned about the financies.

    I've been also thinking about when I started to convince DH about the third child why I didn't tell him more about HT. We once saw a document on TV about HT, I think it was when I was pregnant with DS2 but back then I didn't even think it would be an option. It seemed too surreal. But when I gave birth to DS2 and couple months later GD hit me really hard I remembered that document and started searching information about HT and found this site. When I told DH I would be intrested doing HT he just said no and I didn't really tell him all the things I learnt here. I know he thought it was a really crazy idea but I wish I had told him more about it and tried my best to convince him to try it. I just thought he wouldn't agree and started learning about swaying. It's too late now but why I didn't try harder... I used my last chance and here I am still longing for my daughter.
    2010 (confirmed boy)
    2011 2014 2016

  9. #27
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    Yesterday got annoying comments again when I told we're having a boy. One lady said I should have a new man if I want to have a girl (didn't tell anything about my desire for a girl) and other lady who is around 45 and has two boys and a girl (in that order) asked what we're having and I told and she looked really surprised and said "wow.... you're going to be busy". I could just feel she was thinking to herself that she's so lucky not to have 3 boys...
    2010 (confirmed boy)
    2011 2014 2016

  10. #28
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    sorry for those horrid comments. Some people don't engage their brains and just don't seem to realise how offensive they're being. I am sure you will have three loving and caring boys who will be a lot more thoughtful than those people saying daft things. As they say - fake it til you make it. Just smile and say how thrilled you are to be having three of a kind and that you can't wait to see the youngest wearing his brothers clothes! Xx
    [2012] [2013] TTC [2016/7]

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  12. #29
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    Thank you Mulberry. I know people don't really think before they speak. That comment that I should change my dh to someone else was supposed to be a good joke I think but I really don't need any "jokes" about my situation. I'm trying to fake it til I make it but it's really hard...
    2010 (confirmed boy)
    2011 2014 2016

  13. #30
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    I honestly do agree about the positivity you show bringing that back to you. I make such a huge deal to everyone how much I love my boys, would love another etc, I'm sure no one in real life knows I have gd and in return everyone responds by saying how cool my family are! Anyone that says anything rude is just an idiot and not worth your time anyway. Hang in there honey, my third boy was the hardest and he is so incredibly special.

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