If You Knew

[begonia]

I feel the same way....I have decided not to tell anyone that we are trying for another one and have decided that although my hubby and I will find out the gender we will tell no one else. I simple can't handle the comments on how it will be another boy. I think it has become a stigma to have more than two children now. Most people who get one boy and one girl stop so when people see someone with 4 kids there are just like to make rude comments.

I feel like 3 is totally acceptable where we live; even several families with PP have a 3rd. I'd almost go so far as to say the 3 child family is more common than the single child. But the 4th? I only know two families in our area with 4. I can think of gosh, probably 100 between our school and our church that have 3 though.

[Mochagirl]

Thanks, begonia - I just hope I can have no regrets no matter what happens. I hope you find peace and happiness soon as well. This GD stuff sucks.

[begonia]

Thanks, begonia - I just hope I can have no regrets no matter what happens. I hope you find peace and happiness soon as well. This GD stuff sucks.

SO TRUE!!!! I've definitely come a long way in the last month

[Mochagirl]

I'm definitely going to look like a freak around here going around with 4 kids - especially since they're all young - my twins will have just turned 6 when the baby is born, and ds3 will be about to turn 3. I already feel like I'm a walking freak show around here, where everyone has only 2 kids.

[DoulaMama]

I come from a family of four. My sis and I were not close growing up, my dad was never around and to be honest....I feel no connection with him. My mom raised my sis and I, I had 1 cousin, my Aunt whom I adore and one set of grandparents that were close to us. That was it. We lived about 8 hours away from most family members so every year it was just the 4 of us for Xmas, Easter, etc. I knew that if I was going to have a family it was going to be bigger. When I met my hubby, we actually agreed on 2 kids...LOL...after DS2 I knew that I wasn't done. I had the itch to have another baby right away and along came DS3. Now, if DS3 had been a girl....I'm not totally sure if we would have gone for child #4 but I'm thinking that yes we would have. I now feel done and I'm not even close to having this baby. The baby urge is done and I have a feeling that it's not going to come back. I will always envy pregnant women because I LOVE giving birth and I LOVE the newborn stage but I really don't want another child after this one. Even knowing in my heart that this child is a BOY, I still feel 100% ok about this pregnancy and having a fourth child. We're not rich, we don't live in a 4000 sq. ft house, we don't have elaborate Christmases.....but it's all worth it in the end

To B- My third child fit into our life like a dream He was easy going, loved being worn on me so I could still get stuff done around the house, he was born quickly and almost pain-free, he nursed easily, it was almost like nothing had changed. My older 2 play well together and really couldn't have cared less about the extra person in the house. They loved him instantly and he has been our little shining star since the moment he was born Try not to be scared about #3....I bet you'll look back and think "And I was worried about this! Ha!"
I too was a little nervous about having #4 but after having 3 kids...4 is just one more It's no biggie Lots of love to you~~ xoxo
Mocha- I will be in the exact same boat! A 6yo, a 4yo, a 2yo and a newborn Everyone will think I'm nuts but to be honest...I don't mind the attention! HA! Unless they're ripping stuff off the shelves of a store...and then I want to run!
Ignore the haters...know that there are many women out there who are envious of what you have. I have to keep reminding myself that....I may be looking at the mom of 4 girls here in my town, green with jealousy, wondering how she could be so lucky...and she could be looking back at me thinking the same thing. Sigh~ Life. You just never know what tomorrow will bring. xoxoxo

[lindi]

I have 2 wonderful girls and have been swaying for the past 5months, Ive ttc twice within those 5months and now Im starting to think what if this whole swaying thing doesnt really work. Im just struggling with the whole idea that really Im taking a 50/50 shot and Im so not ready to do that.

I know I would like another child but only if its a boy, but gees if only it was that easy.

My question to you ladies is, if you knew that you would get your 3rd boy/girl, would you have tried at all????

Just need some help to make my final decision & maybe if I hear your stories I can reconsider or be done with my family of 4.

I so applaud you ladies who have just gone for it, cause Im the type of person who needs to know atleast 90% before I do anything, makes me so cranky at times. You know the saying, "your not living if you dont take risks in life" but this is just too big of a risk to take for me, but then its also the not knowing "what if" that will kill me, but then conceiving another girl, will probably kill me even more - so sorry Im just rambling

DD1 DD2

Just something for you to thin about- I started off getting ready to sway, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I didn't want to take the chance I wasn't going to get my desired gender. A lot of that comes from how I personally wanted a small family, so having many kids and hoping one would be a girl just was not a plan that would work for me, so I decided to do HT.
If you really want a family of 3 not 4, you might want to strongly consider IVF. In the long run it is much cheaper than an extra child! Good luck to you.

[CapricornAquarius]

Hobbermittens - What really sux is how we can worry about what everyone around us is going to think or say.

Mochagirl - yes I can understand what your saying. This is why Im so confused as in what to do.

Melessalynay - People can be so cruel, I believe those who make rude comments only do that cause they themselves feel like poo, so they try to bring others down.

D-Mama - If I decide on baby no3, I really hope your right, that I'll look back and think "And I was worried about this! Ha!"

Lindi - Thanks for that, but unfortunately my husband would be totally against it, he's a big believer of "you get what you get given & be grateful"

Dd1 Dd2

[CapricornAquarius]

You know what everyone? I envy all of you for having the courage to even go for a 3rd or 4th, knowing very well that you could end up with the same gender.

Kisses and hugs to all of you.

[Zivic-Bubac]

I know I will regret it if I don't try, and I know I will regret it if it doesn't work... so either way, I am screwed.

This exactly!

I'm so glad you've asked this q, bcos that was my starting point - I don't need 3rd child, I need a boy.
Now after a year of swaying and questioning and re-questioning my desire for and in the first place is it MY desire or I'm conditioned by my up-bringing and culturally etc to want a boy, I've come to a place where I'm not sure do I even want a 3rd child
But like Hobber said, I think I will regret if I don't try. If this wish ever existed ( still exist?) it's better to regret something I've done then something I didn't kwim?

Right now I feel I won't be disappointed with another girl. I have a name for her and she would fit better our family logistically and in every other way. Boys are unknown territory to me lol!

But when I hear somebody got a baby boy, I'm so jealous it hurts. So my feelings are complete mess ( but you've already figured that out lol!) and being so deep in swaying process, I will not give up, I'm not a quitter LOLOL! or , whatever was meant for me.

[Mochagirl]

I agree - the reason we decided to sway was that I was worried later in life I'd regret not trying one more time. I'm 37, so I don't have a lot of babymaking years left...I imagined myself waking up at age 45 and realising it's too late. What helped my decision was that I asked my Mom about a friend of hers who had two boys, and she said that she always regretted not having a third because she really wanted a girl. Besides, I've heard it said many times (and I agree wholeheartedly): you may regret a child you didn't have, but you'll never regret a child you do have. So true.