If You Knew

[CapricornAquarius]

I have 2 wonderful girls and have been swaying for the past 5months, Ive ttc twice within those 5months and now Im starting to think what if this whole swaying thing doesnt really work. Im just struggling with the whole idea that really Im taking a 50/50 shot and Im so not ready to do that.

I know I would like another child but only if its a boy, but gees if only it was that easy.

My question to you ladies is, if you knew that you would get your 3rd boy/girl, would you have tried at all????

Just need some help to make my final decision & maybe if I hear your stories I can reconsider or be done with my family of 4.

I so applaud you ladies who have just gone for it, cause Im the type of person who needs to know atleast 90% before I do anything, makes me so cranky at times. You know the saying, "your not living if you dont take risks in life" but this is just too big of a risk to take for me, but then its also the not knowing "what if" that will kill me, but then conceiving another girl, will probably kill me even more - so sorry Im just rambling

DD1 DD2

[nuthinbutpink]

I always wanted 3 kids, so yes, I would have still tried. We just had a party today- my family is so large with my sister and her kids and my brothers, etc. it was a lot of fun. I want my kids to grow up in a big family because that is what I did and all of my memories are good ones.

[CapricornAquarius]

I always wanted 3 kids, so yes, I would have still tried. We just had a party today- my family is so large with my sister and her kids and my brothers, etc. it was a lot of fun. I want my kids to grow up in a big family because that is what I did and all of my memories are good ones.

Thank you nbpink. I came from a family of 6 and it was so great, so why am I such a big chicken.

Wow Congratulations with your bfp .

[begonia]

CA, I'm with NBP in that it was for sure I wanted three kids. That to me was more important. Even though I never, ever would have picked 3 girls if it was up to me ... I'm glad we're having a 3rd, and honestly I can't yet say I'm glad it's a girl, but I am glad we are having a 3rd. I am sure you adore your girls as I do mine, and I am sure as soon as I lay eyes on this one I'll fall right in love too. But I do think I will probably still wish I'd gotten a boy along with the girls, which is why now I kick around the idea of a 4th kid. That however would SOLELY be for a shot at a boy, which is why I think having 4 would be a bad idea for me right now.

We got pg 1st month we actually TTC, but I spent 9 months eating like a boy mom, dropping my beloved running to do weights, taking supps (and making sure DH took his) .... I definitely wouldn't have gone through all of that had I known I was ending up with girl #3. BUT, I still would have gotten pregnant, and on my tougher GD days that is what I keep reminding myself. I wanted 3 kids. I am getting 3 kids. And right now, all of them seem to be healthy, so I keep focusing on that for the blessing that it is.

It's a tough call, it really is. If you know though that you loved growing up in a big family then maybe it is worth the risk for you? Neither DH nor myself had more than 1 sibling (we both come from pigeon pairs) and while we thought it sounded fun to have more than one, both of us are a little scared about what we're getting into since we didn't see it growing up. At least you have that experience to keep reminding yourself that the bonus sibling will be a great thing for your kids!

[CapricornAquarius]

Begonia - Thank you for sharing your story & Congratulations with baby No3.

I to have always imagined myself with 3 kids, just dont know if I will let it happen.

Dd1 Dd2

[Hobbermittens]

Capricorn, I am in a similar spot to you now. I was one of 3, and I wanted a 3rd, but after she was born a girl (she was also an "oops") I was dead set on trying for a boy. Now that my attempt is here, I am terrified. I am not sure I can handle 4 kids, we are already a bit over-extended financially, and I wonder how my parents, in-laws etc. will react to us having a 4th (we haven't told them we plan to TTC). I wish I had planned my 3rd and had swayed with her, because if she had been the boy I wanted, great; but if she were still a girl, well, I would be where I am now with a manageable amount of children. I wish there was a crystal ball that could tell me if my sway would work. If I knew 100% that I would have a girl, I wouldn't try. I know that isn't a very good attitude to go into this with, so I am stressed about trying. The thing is, I know I will regret it if I don't try, and I know I will regret it if it doesn't work... so either way, I am screwed.

[Mochagirl]

I freak out all the time about whether or not we made the right decision to try for #4. Honestly, if I knew there was no chance of a girl, I don't think we would have tried, for all the same reasons Hobbermittens mentioned...I'm not sure we can actually afford 4 kids, and I know everyone in our lives is going to think we're crazy when we tell them I'm pregnant again. Part of me worries my gd is going to be worse knowing that I would never have had 4 kids if I knew in advance they'd all be boys.

[begonia]

The thing is, I know I will regret it if I don't try, and I know I will regret it if it doesn't work... so either way, I am screwed.

I felt that way too, about having a 3rd in general ... I WANTED three for sure, but I was very worried I'd regret it if my sway didn't work and my 3 kids were 3 girls. Which is where I am now. And my initial reaction once "girl" sunk in WAS that this was a huge mistake, and we shouldn't have even gotten pg with #3. I broke down sobbing very early one morning and DH and talked through it (he doesn't know I know it is a girl, so he was just comforting me because I "assume" - so does he- that it is a girl) and he reminded me again and again that we wanted three, that it wasn't all about having a son, and that helped get me over that particular hurdle.

I would be VERY nervous about getting pg if it was 100% about getting the gender you hope for. That I think could definitely be setting oneself up for some serious GD if it didn't work

[melissalynay]

I freak out all the time about whether or not we made the right decision to try for #4. Honestly, if I knew there was no chance of a girl, I don't think we would have tried, for all the same reasons Hobbermittens mentioned...I'm not sure we can actually afford 4 kids, and I know everyone in our lives is going to think we're crazy when we tell them I'm pregnant again. Part of me worries my gd is going to be worse knowing that I would never have had 4 kids if I knew in advance they'd all be boys.

I feel the same way....I have decided not to tell anyone that we are trying for another one and have decided that although my hubby and I will find out the gender we will tell no one else. I simple can't handle the comments on how it will be another boy. I think it has become a stigma to have more than two children now. Most people who get one boy and one girl stop so when people see someone with 4 kids there are just like to make rude comments.

[begonia]

Part of me worries my gd is going to be worse knowing that I would never have had 4 kids if I knew in advance they'd all be boys.

((Hugs)) Mocha. I REALLY hope you hear girl, and if not ... I hope that you're surprised with a feeling of peace about it.