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  1. #11
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    Thankyou all for your replies, they comforted me. I am feeling a lot better about it. My mum doesn't realise she is being rude and insensitive, and doesn't think about how she would feel if it was reversed. (Our relationship is very strained because of this). I can remember her telling the story about how her FIL put pressure on her to have a boy and carry on the family name, but she ended up having 3 girls. I wonder if it was this story I heard so often that put the seed in my head which lead to GD when I started to have children.

    Anyway thanks again. I'll remember this thread the next time someone says it to me and hopefully not get upset.

  2. #12
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    I know this is an oldish post but I had to say that I get the opposite comments. When I say I have 5 girls im told how much easier boys are and that they are more loving. Makes me mad. It's like they only say it because they know I don't have a boy (I don't tell them this baby's gender and I think everyone assumes it's another girl) I have even been told that girls are bitchy and so hard to bring up. Well, maybe their daughters were little sh"ts but mine are not lol
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  4. #13
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    I know this is a really old post but I also get another variation of this. I have 2 DDs and my sister, cousin, and both my SILs have had one boy each . My DD1 is the oldest at 3.5 and my DD2 is the youngest at 21 months, so we all had kids around the same time. All three of them complain about how difficult boy are to raise and that even though I have 2 kids I have no idea what hard work in motherhood is like because girls are easier than boys. It boils my blood because although my daughters are very happy and sociable they definitely require ALOT of effort, especially being only 17 months apart. I resent being told I have an easy life and don’t know what difficulty it is being a mother to a boy. I’ve never spoken back with whatever is in my mind and heart, there’s no point arguing with every silly person. I don’t think there is an “easy” baby , all kids have their own challenges and easy bits. Oh well, just had to vent


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  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by violagirl87 View Post
    I know this is a really old post but I also get another variation of this. I have 2 DDs and my sister, cousin, and both my SILs have had one boy each . My DD1 is the oldest at 3.5 and my DD2 is the youngest at 21 months, so we all had kids around the same time. All three of them complain about how difficult boy are to raise and that even though I have 2 kids I have no idea what hard work in motherhood is like because girls are easier than boys. It boils my blood because although my daughters are very happy and sociable they definitely require ALOT of effort, especially being only 17 months apart. I resent being told I have an easy life and don’t know what difficulty it is being a mother to a boy. I’ve never spoken back with whatever is in my mind and heart, there’s no point arguing with every silly person. I don’t think there is an “easy” baby , all kids have their own challenges and easy bits. Oh well, just had to vent


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    But seriously, where do they get their "girls are quiet" from ? I myself was a tomboy ! This morning DD2 threw a raging fit on the way to school, complete with screaming, crying and rolling on the floor... and that's the usual for her. She rarely smiles, always complain and scream at the top of her lungs when things are not going her way. Her sister is more quiet at 4 but she's such a drama-queen I'm planning to put her in acting classes ! And she's climbing on EVERYTHING ! Trees, tables, chairs, bookshelves, ladders...

    Both are always exploring, they NEVER sit down, not even with their many dolls and toy tea sets, not even in front of the TV. They organize mock-fights between the two of them (their father does martial arts as a hobby), they open the door and try to escape the house to "travel"... The only thing girly about them is that they like pretty dresses and ponies. But they'd soon rather do martial arts than learn about fashion...

    Seriously, where can you get a quiet girl that just sits and play ? Cause for now the neighboors' son is the one having a quiet tea-party next door with his kindergarten sweetheart
    2014 ------- surprise 2016

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  8. #15
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    Like babybeaublue, I've heard comments like "girls are harder to bring up than boys, they are less demanding". And I also have the impression the like to say that when they see you only have girls. But it also hurts because my girls ARE a handful. What can I say, I don't know about boys but I know girls, ok some girls... well, at least mine.. ..girls are NOT easy!!! They can be total messes lol And I wait and wait until it gets better (someone said its hard only in the 2s and 3s?)... but my girls still throw tantrums Holy smoke! The 5yrs old can be bitchy like a diva. The 4yrs old acts like a baby when she can't have things her way and I don't have to explain the behaviour of the 2yrs old haha

    Though I think it's mostly that way because of the small age gap and I can't give them each the attention they need and want (they want a lot. at the same time.) and I imagine with boys it wouldn't be that much of a difference.
    and swayed for due March/April 2019 - IT WORKED!! thank you atomic!

  9. #16
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    I think this may also come down to location. We live in the southern United States, where people have more traditional gender expectations, and while pregnant with my little boy I only heard positive things. People constantly told me how much easier boys were, how sweet they were, how well they treated their moms and would even stop me to say things like, “You’re glowing! Must be a boy—girls steal your beauty, but boys makes you glow!” It also seems like when you have a boy, you get inducted into this “boy moms” club. It’s all BS of course. Kids are totally individual! Honestly, I think girls are currently in vogue in more liberal parts of the world, whereas in more traditional areas, boys are still more desired (all of my friends from the south want boys, all of my friends from the north want girls). I’d be curious to see what others think of this theory!

    The biggest thing that has helped me to feel better about my GD (for a girl) is to think about all the kids I know. When I think of families with both boys and girls, I’d just as often prefer to have the boys as my own children as I would the girls! My cousins for example are a family of two older boys and two younger girls, and the boys are absolutely gorgeous and gentle and lovely, and the girls are selfish and immature and unappealing. But in other families, it’s the complete opposite! My own little guy is more beautiful than I could’ve imagined, hilarious, and easy going, so sometimes it drives me bonkers that I keep thinking about having a daughter. Honestly, I think my hang up for a girl is wanting the relationship I had with my mom—we were super close, and she has a terminal illness.

  10. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by lad View Post
    I think this may also come down to location. We live in the southern United States, where people have more traditional gender expectations, and while pregnant with my little boy I only heard positive things. People constantly told me how much easier boys were, how sweet they were, how well they treated their moms and would even stop me to say things like, “You’re glowing! Must be a boy—girls steal your beauty, but boys makes you glow!” It also seems like when you have a boy, you get inducted into this “boy moms” club. It’s all BS of course. Kids are totally individual! Honestly, I think girls are currently in vogue in more liberal parts of the world, whereas in more traditional areas, boys are still more desired (all of my friends from the south want boys, all of my friends from the north want girls). I’d be curious to see what others think of this theory!

    The biggest thing that has helped me to feel better about my GD (for a girl) is to think about all the kids I know. When I think of families with both boys and girls, I’d just as often prefer to have the boys as my own children as I would the girls! My cousins for example are a family of two older boys and two younger girls, and the boys are absolutely gorgeous and gentle and lovely, and the girls are selfish and immature and unappealing. But in other families, it’s the complete opposite! My own little guy is more beautiful than I could’ve imagined, hilarious, and easy going, so sometimes it drives me bonkers that I keep thinking about having a daughter. Honestly, I think my hang up for a girl is wanting the relationship I had with my mom—we were super close, and she has a terminal illness.
    Completely agree with your theory. It has a lot to do with ideologies.

    I come from ultra-conservative background and while my generation has always been rebellious (thanks again technology for helping with that), it wasn't very nice growing as a girl and seeing boys getting a free-pass for a lot of things. On the other hand I spent my formative and adult years in very liberal places and overdosed with their own views about gender. Fact is, I get along with "males" and I understand them, their strenghts and their weakenesses. And I can't stand what they have to endure in the liberal side of things. I see too much women my age having nothing but bad things to say about them when they are not constantly accusing them of sexual assault at every turn. I wonder how they can stand having a husband and sons. Oh well, I know. It's sad to say but every last one I knew divorced as soon as they got baby girls. And last time I was talking to one, she would never tire speaking about her girl, how great she was, how beautiful she was, how perfect. "A future feminist" she said. "The hope of that dark world". She had so much pictures of her in her wallet to show me and none of her son. So I had to ask "how is your son ?" because it seemed weird, she loved him well enough before.

    "Oh... him."

    Says it all. I had to insist to even get a picture (one where he was with his sister, oc). And she barely let a sentence out like "he is sweet and doing great in school... BTW did I tell you about the time my precious daughter worked on that essay yada yada...". It's not even doting at this rate, it's outright favoring a gender. It doesn't reflect well on us as women and mothers but oh well, what do they care ?

    I would like to say she's the only one acting this way but sadly... nah. Even in my ultra-conservative background people had pictures of their girls and talked warmly about them. Yeah, son was the best but still...

    One other thing you nailed : I think our gender desire do have much to do with the relationship we had with our parents, especially our moms. You want a girl and you speak about a close relationship with your mother. Well I'm the total opposite. Don't even want to speak about the abuse she hurled at me. Some people seem to think that should make me WANT girls to experiment a healthy mother-daughter bond. But how do I put it ? If I wanted to experiment anything, it's the daughter-side of the bond ! I never was anyone's daughter really. I can't and won't ask my girls to play mom (or to play my own role so I get a shot at having a better mom by projection).
    Plus I had such terrible female-figures in my life anyway that I'm not even expecting my daughters to turn out kind and generous. I try to raise them that way but like you saw in many families, even with good parents, there are so much girls that turn hypocritical and selfish I've next to no hope of a happy ending. Still whishing I'm mistaken though and all ends well !

    Since 99% of the people who helped me in life were males, it's no wonder I would hope for a boy and feel more hopefull with a son. But life isn't that easy I guess haha !
    2014 ------- surprise 2016

    Dreaming of a

  11. #18
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    Definitely! In the end I think most people want the best for their kids, and so if they think one gender will have more opportunities within their society, it’s natural to want to have that gender.

    I hope you end up with your boy, though I’m sure your girls will turn out wonderfully too ❤️. I’ve had lots of amazing female role models in my life, so I can attest that they’re out there!

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