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    Girls are easier than boys comment

    Does the comment "girls are easier than boys" offend you? I have 2 boys aged 3 and 1 and today my mum repeated this comment 3 times and it made me quite angry. My mood immediately went down and I wanted to snap at her (she had 3 girls). I don't want to hear or have it rubbed in that someone has it easier. My head also interprets it to girls are BETTER than boys. I guess this has bothered me so much because we are experiencing the terrible 2 & 3's and I would like it to be easier.

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    my dad had some boys from a previous marriage but my mum only had 1 girl, she wanted another but for health reasons wasnt able to have my sister (i even know what her name would have been) she despised boys and was very very open about it!! "your either blessed with a girl or cursed with a boy" was something i remember her saying!! her parents had 1 of each but even they were very much pro-girl!! other family members are hardcore feminists who also massively favour girls.

    we received endless congrats letters/cards etc on the birth of our daughters (im talking pages of hand written letters about how fabulous and special daughters/sisters are) but next to nothing for our sons!! (our youngest is a boy DS5 and we got sent 3 cards, the baby before him was DD2 and our house looked like a card shop!!) its not that i expect cards etc when we have a new baby, its just the difference between what we received for the 5 boy's vs the 2 girl's that shocks me and its purely separated by the baby's gender same for the reaction we get, there is so much excitement at the birth of a girl but nothing for a boy.

    anyway i have 5 boys and 2 (living) girls and i can say in my experience that my boys have all had easier temperaments than the girls, my girls are more temperamental and stubborn than the boys for sure!! boys do tend to be higher energy but i find my girls tantrum more and seem much more strong minded, but all my boys are very chilled so i guess its just down to the individual children rather than their gender's if your mum doesnt want to enjoy her grandsons then let her get on with it, its her loss!!
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  5. #3
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    Some things have a grain of truth in them but are NOT true for every person, every time, every day of your child's life. To be honest my sons were quite difficult in the toddler stage and my daughter was easier, but I do not expect that to always be the case (and it's certainly not on a day to day basis, she has her days where she's the biggest problem in the house, LOL - she will do things like cry for 2 hours over nothing, and I have no idea what to do with her as the boys never did that at all).

    My two oldest boys were absolute dreams as boys and teenagers, I never had to worry about them a bit and they were extremely helpful to the family, and now that my younger boys are out of the toddler stage they are easy too. My younger sons are great about doing chores and keeping their rooms clean (sadly my older two were not so good at cleaning their rooms) and my daughter is a complete slob, her room is TERRIBLE (as were mine and my sister's too!) and she is also great at conning the boys into doing her chores for her. :/

    Also, there's a HUGE difference between someone using that as a dig - which it seems your mom was - and people who are just making an observation that boys can be a handful sometimes when they're small. I suspect the reason it was so infuriating is that you knew she meant something by it and reacted accordingly.

    I do think many times people mean it as a compliment, though. You're doing something hard and they are meaning to praise you, telling you that they know you're doing something that isn't always easy so they're trying to give you a weird sort of compliment. But they're dumb, LOL, so it comes out wrong and not the way they intend it to. So it's not that they're saying girls are better, but more that what you're doing is requiring a lot of effort and skill on your part and that you're doing a bang-up job of it.

    You are really in the very hardest stage of parenting right now. I sometimes think people get severe GD when their children are in the terrible 2's and 3's but it's because ALL kids are hard at that stage and it isn't just gender or mostly gender, it's that all children are hard at that point. Once they get out of that phase, things are going to get easier, I guarantee it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kawazza View Post
    Does the comment "girls are easier than boys" offend you? I have 2 boys aged 3 and 1 and today my mum repeated this comment 3 times and it made me quite angry. My mood immediately went down and I wanted to snap at her (she had 3 girls). I don't want to hear or have it rubbed in that someone has it easier. My head also interprets it to girls are BETTER than boys. I guess this has bothered me so much because we are experiencing the terrible 2 & 3's and I would like it to be easier.
    Hey it does, along with my personal favorite : " Girls are more quiet, they never fight, they will never run away and worry you or worse, end up in jail ! And when you're old and they are adults, you will have such a deep bond because hey, you're all women and they will understand you better than anyone !"

    Ha ha...

    Well, I for one think boys are easier, more quiet and less likely to worry you in the end ! I only have girls and they are in the terrible 2's so I can't speak on their behalf... But growing up, I could see a world of difference between my boy friends and girl friends. My boy friends were very close to their mothers, admired and supported them when they were feeling down, went through some hardships and made mistakes... On the contrary, most of my girl friends were very cold toward their moms (always criticizing them, body-shaming them, mocking their careers and so on...). The few that weren't were instead disturbingly submissive, calling momma everyday to ask for her blessing about making a new friend/having a new boyfriend, buying a dress, planning holidays and so on... well into their late 30's.

    It's just my opinion of course and I know girls can be adorable. But I really wouldn't call them a blessing, more like "motherhood on hard mode".

    Enjoy your boys, they are terrible at that age but soon, that will change, you will be surprised !
    Last edited by Sora; July 4th, 2018 at 08:44 AM.
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    Yes those kind of comments bother me too! If a girl Mom says that to me I’d translate it to mean my life is better than you because I have girls. If a mom of both said it to me I would take it as she values her daughter/s over her son/s and it makes me sad. Like she sees her daughter as a perfect angel and her son as a terror. I absolutely adore my boys and feel very defensive of them and boys in general, so it bothers me when people hope they don’t have a boy even if they already have two or three girls. I like you’d be lucky to have a boy so shut up! I have a three year old and one year old and so far both of them have been pretty easy. I attribute it to their personality more than their gender. If my boys were actually difficult and people said that to me it would make it worse because then every time they’d act out I’d think if only I had girls motherhood would be so easy and be reminded of my gender disappointment again.


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    I’m a girl mom (age 15 and 1yr) and when I hear this I just think to myself “well you haven’t met my girls.” The boys I know from my friends, my daughters friends, my stepson (since age 9) etc, have proven that statement misguided. Both my girls, especially the youngest have been more of a handful than I ever could have imagined. My husband says his son was never as much trouble as our little girl.


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    It bothered me lots when I hear it too.. specially from my friends whom only have girls...

    I just ignored them most of the time as I know my sons are easier than some of their girls and naughtier than some of their girls too.. it’s so individual, it’s impossible to compare, but the ones who says it, they clearly have the gender preference, I wouldn’t say a word because I don’t want to be one of them

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    It does offend me. And people are surprisingly free and easy with using such comments too. When I was pregnant with my second son, and dealing with GD, and barely remember anyone being happy for me, most responses were, “Oh, another boy, you’ll be busy.”
    At a friend’s son’s 5th birthday party, the grandmother of the 5-year-old said to me, “I don’t know how you manage boys (she had only had girls), I think if I’d had boys I would have cried! Girls are so much easier, they just sit quietly and play.” This, in front of her daughter who’d just had her third boy...hmmmm, tactless?

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    I hate any comments that group traits by gender! We are all so different, from childhood to adulthood. I'm reminded of my SIL who had a girl after her boy and remarked, "Girls are so much easier than boys!" Well, no, guess who turned out to be the biggest handful ever once she hit 18 months?! It was that having a second or third kid was easier because it wasn't the major life change of having the first kid!

    It's confirmation bias that these people say these all encompassing things about literally BILLIONS of kids based on a few limiter observations. I just hate that these people don't seem to understand this!
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    Oh and as far as 2 and 3-year-old behaviour, yes I’d say my almost 3-year-old son has been tougher than my daughter. But he’s had a speech delay which has made things a bit harder. The upside of that though, is that he wasn’t able to stab me in the heart with words like, “I don’t love you, Mummy, I love Daddy,” which my daughter reduced me to tears with on several occasions. Honestly, from a 2-year-old! So yeah, every child has their own challenges to bring to the table.

    Three beautiful children to cherish and the dearest hope to add one more princess

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