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  1. #1
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    Disappointed

    I had a second loss recently and just found out it was a boy. I was doing LE PCOS for a year. I was 105 lbs when I conceived. Iíve lost so much muscle mass and Iím so skinny. My BMI was 18.5 when I conceived.

    If it it been a girl I wouldíve been disappointed but I wouldíve at least felt like there was something motivating me to keep trying. Now I am not sure if I want to try again and I donít know what to do. Of course I would love whatever was given to me but now Iím starting to think maybe I can only have boys. On the one hand I wasnít shocked with the results but on the other hand I actually did have a deep hope that it was a girl. Now I donít know what to believe anymore...

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    Even under ideal circumstances we get opposites 25-30% of the time. I wish it wasn't the case but there seems to be an upper ceiling that we can't break through with that. I have seen many people have a loss, find out it was an opposite, then go on to conceive their desired gender. We additionally do not know if a chromosomally abnormal egg has the same possible mechanisms to "select" gender that a healthy egg does, so that may have made some difference. We just don't know. But I do know this doesn't mean you can only have boys (no one can only have boys, the entire human race would have died out long ago if that was the case, and I have a scientific explanation proving that).

    Again, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry you're struggling now. Please don't hesitate, if there's anything at all I can do.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

  3. #3
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    Thanks atomic.

    So I really feel SOL here. Sorry for my language.

    Since I got my insulin blood result a week ago, I cut carbs even whole grain to get a better quality egg. I’ve been eating mostly salads nuts avocado fruit and lean meat. No sugar and actually my sugar cravings are pretty much gone. Limited whole grain. No rice, not even brown. Only quinoa. Perfect boy diet right? Stopped exercising. And I’ve dropped 2 lbs (now just under 106 lbs at 5’3) in less than a week even though I’m not that hungry cause each meal has fat in it. If I add carbs I risk a bad egg. But I feel like I loaded carbs and still got a boy. A trisomy boy. So I don’t know what to do. I am beyond depressed. I have no energy or motivation. I don’t know if I should give up given it seems the carbs will likely result in a bad egg since I am advanced maternal age. Even if they are whole grain, doesn’t seem to matter for me. Still got a abnormal male embryo.
    Last edited by dreamofdaughter; May 26th, 2019 at 02:56 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dreamofdaughter View Post
    Thanks atomic.

    So I really feel SOL here. Sorry for my language.

    Since I got my insulin blood result a week ago, I cut carbs even whole grain to get a better quality egg. Iíve been eating mostly salads nuts avocado fruit and lean meat. No sugar and actually my sugar cravings are pretty much gone. Limited whole grain. No rice, not even brown. Only quinoa. Perfect boy diet right? Stopped exercising. And Iíve dropped 2 lbs (now just under 106 lbs at 5í3) in less than a week even though Iím not that hungry cause each meal has fat in it. If I add carbs I risk a bad egg. But I feel like I loaded carbs and still got a boy. A trisomy boy. So I donít know what to do. I am beyond depressed. I have no energy or motivation. I donít know if I should give up given it seems the carbs will likely result in a bad egg since I am advanced maternal age. Even if they are whole grain, doesnít seem to matter for me. Still got a abnormal male embryo.
    Hi there hon. I know you were speaking to Atomic, but saw this post and had to respond. I'm never really on here anymore but got an email with featured discussions and this was one of them, so maybe I was meant to respond!

    You always have a chance. My first 4 kiddos are boys, and I finally had a girl last year at 40 years old. I've also had 5 losses, never found out genders of those (one of the losses was my daughters twin at 8/9 weeks).

    I remember feeling like it would never happen for me, like I only made boys, etc. I swayed with DS4. With my daughter's sway I added clomid (just used it 1 cycle, the cycle I got pg with her). I really think that may have tipped the odds.

    It can definitely happen, don't give up!!!

  5. Thanks atomic sagebrush, dreamofdaughter thanked for this post
  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by dreamofdaughter View Post
    Thanks atomic.

    So I really feel SOL here. Sorry for my language.

    Since I got my insulin blood result a week ago, I cut carbs even whole grain to get a better quality egg. I’ve been eating mostly salads nuts avocado fruit and lean meat. No sugar and actually my sugar cravings are pretty much gone. Limited whole grain. No rice, not even brown. Only quinoa. Perfect boy diet right? Stopped exercising. And I’ve dropped 2 lbs (now just under 106 lbs at 5’3) in less than a week even though I’m not that hungry cause each meal has fat in it. If I add carbs I risk a bad egg. But I feel like I loaded carbs and still got a boy. A trisomy boy. So I don’t know what to do. I am beyond depressed. I have no energy or motivation. I don’t know if I should give up given it seems the carbs will likely result in a bad egg since I am advanced maternal age. Even if they are whole grain, doesn’t seem to matter for me. Still got a abnormal male embryo.
    Not eating carbs is not magic. Whether we eat carbs or not, we still have higher chances of a bad egg due to our age. You can't assume that the reason you had an abnormal egg was because of the carbs you were eating. It's not a good assumption to make and it's misleading you here. You MUST add carbs back in. What you're doing now is going to backfire hugely because you will stop ovulating and/or your LP will get really short and/or you won't be able to sustain a pregnancy even if you do manage to conceive. It also has a really deleterious effect on your energy level!

    It is fine for you to change your diet to be lower carb but the research that showed lower carb = better eggs was NOT EVER super low carb. That is a misunderstanding and assumption. The research shows that keeping protein at 40%, carbs and fat at 30% was best for healthy eggs. It has never been shown that going lower than 30% carbs is in any way desirable to one's fertility.

    For all you know you swayed strongly pink and then fell into the 30% opposites. For all you know your diet had nothing to do with your loss at all. You're making a huge leap here and it may end up costing you the chance to conceive if we're not really careful. Your BMI is 18.8 and I really urge you to add some carbs back in - fruit, veg, whole grains - to stop this weight loss.

    I understand that it is helpful to feel like you're doing something to control things.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Houseofblue View Post
    Hi there hon. I know you were speaking to Atomic, but saw this post and had to respond. I'm never really on here anymore but got an email with featured discussions and this was one of them, so maybe I was meant to respond!

    You always have a chance. My first 4 kiddos are boys, and I finally had a girl last year at 40 years old. I've also had 5 losses, never found out genders of those (one of the losses was my daughters twin at 8/9 weeks).

    I remember feeling like it would never happen for me, like I only made boys, etc. I swayed with DS4. With my daughter's sway I added clomid (just used it 1 cycle, the cycle I got pg with her). I really think that may have tipped the odds.

    It can definitely happen, don't give up!!!
    Thank you so much, Houseofblue. I have decided to stop swaying, per se, and go vegetarian with reduce carbs from grains. Maybe I will have to find a way to add in clomid or femara. I am just not sure how to get it in Canada unless I order it. A doctor is unlikely to give it to me but I will ask AS the best ways to get it.

    I really appreciate you responding. I am sorry for your losses but glad you got your girl.

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    Not eating carbs is not magic. Whether we eat carbs or not, we still have higher chances of a bad egg due to our age. You can't assume that the reason you had an abnormal egg was because of the carbs you were eating. It's not a good assumption to make and it's misleading you here. You MUST add carbs back in. What you're doing now is going to backfire hugely because you will stop ovulating and/or your LP will get really short and/or you won't be able to sustain a pregnancy even if you do manage to conceive. It also has a really deleterious effect on your energy level!

    It is fine for you to change your diet to be lower carb but the research that showed lower carb = better eggs was NOT EVER super low carb. That is a misunderstanding and assumption. The research shows that keeping protein at 40%, carbs and fat at 30% was best for healthy eggs. It has never been shown that going lower than 30% carbs is in any way desirable to one's fertility.

    For all you know you swayed strongly pink and then fell into the 30% opposites. For all you know your diet had nothing to do with your loss at all. You're making a huge leap here and it may end up costing you the chance to conceive if we're not really careful. Your BMI is 18.8 and I really urge you to add some carbs back in - fruit, veg, whole grains - to stop this weight loss.

    I understand that it is helpful to feel like you're doing something to control things.
    Thanks, atomic. Well I was eating mostly carbs before so I have since switched to more fat and protein and have added more in carbs. I am not tracking anymore but I am checking my weight and so far I have come up a pound and am holding steady there.

    After much soul searching over the last several days, I decided I need to keep my health and body strong for me and my boys. I did not like how I was eating before. I did not like how my body looked - no muscle tone. Just scrawny and fragile looking. I've gone almost completely vegetarian, I've cut back on cardio and added instead strength (power yoga) because I don't feel it's in my long term health best interest to lose muscle mass for over 1.5 years. I am petite and already at risk for brittle bones. At my age, I do need to consider that and since I know my sway did not work, I can't justify depleting myself anymore. It was a tough decision but I decided I want to be healthy and have a healthy child.

    I see Houseofboys had success with clomid. I would like to add Femara, can you recommend dosage for me given I do ovulate quite regularly and how to use it? I know you can't recommend an online source but since I know a Dr won't give it to me since I am ovulating, I need to order it online.

    I truly appreciate your help on my journey. I think it's really time for me to be realistic that if I want a baby, I need to get my body into a good state and then just keep my fingers crossed it is a girl but be realistic that it likely will be another boy.

  9. #8
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    Also, how does femara work if you have normal ovulation (no pcos)? I ovulate day 11ish will it make me ovulate later?

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