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  1. #1
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    Happy Having a hard time getting into the super feminine girl stuff after hoping for blue

    So I tried to lowkey sway blue with our first born, we didn't find out sex until the birth... we were blessed with a perfect & healthy baby girl on 12/8. We’re thrilled with our little lady, and I can tell there is already a special bond there
    Here’s my thing and someone tell me if I’m crazy:
    I absolutely detest all the girl stuff - I hate the floral and polka dot and pink girl clothes that we’ve been bombarded with, I hate the creepy dolls that people have been gifting us, all the unicorn stuff, I hate the ridiculous tutus and crazy big bow headbands. Don’t get me wrong, I’m *grateful* for all of it, and we are so incredibly lucky to have people around us that would send gifts to our daughter, but I don’t particularly care for any of it, does that make sense?
    I totally understand that I’m the odd one in this situation. And that's the thing, I don't know if it's messed up that I'm allowing my own personal preference to sway how I raise my daughter.
    I was a tomboy with 3 older brothers. I never had Barbies, American Dolls...or ANY dolls...no My Little Ponies, nothing. I didn’t have princess dress up clothes, I didn’t watch any Disney princess movies. I played sports, rode my bike, climbed trees, made mud pies, and played games in my neighborhood. To this day, the only TV channel I watch is ESPN, I am in Fantasy Football leagues, I go to the gym religiously…. I wear a lot of black and tend to be a little more neutral in my color palette...I’m just not your overly feminine Lily Pulitzer/Kate Spade kinda gal.
    So my question is - is it OK to keep our girl lowkey feminine? I’m not putting her in boy clothes or anything but I’m dressing her in mostly her gender neutral grey/white outfits we got before she was born or solid light pinks or mint greens or yellows b/c I am not feeling the overly girlie stuff. I’m keeping the dolls but I'll wait for her to ask for them before introducing. I think part of me wants her personality to develop organically and let her choose her own path. If she wants to be a pretty princess and wear all the pink and play with dolls and unicorns and whatnot, great!, we’ll support that, as long as it’s HER decision. I just don't want others to set those expectations.
    I don’t think it helps that my step mother in law quizzed me on whether I’ve considered being a Stay At Home Mom (I like my career and paid a lot of money for my education so no, I will not be staying home), and randomly bought me an oven roaster for Christmas. Though I’ve never shown interest in roasting anything. Ever. She bought our 3 week old daughter 2 different baby dolls for Christmas. So I think there’s a personal element of “stop forcing gender roles on us” to this as well.
    Anyone else struggle with navigating raising a girl and how to navigate the gender norms?

  2. #2
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    Yes, it is absolutely fine to not have everything insanely feminine.
    Congrats on your baby girl. Everything you describe is totally normal. We got so many ugly girly stuff for our girl. And you don't have to dress her in things you don't like. Or give her dolls, she won't be interested in them anyway, at least for another year.
    We had the same with our boys, they also get overly masculine stuff, sometimes ridiculous. But oh well, I just dress the kids in what I like. Until they are old enough to voice what they want. I also know some moms that dress their girl quite neutral, and I think that's totally fine. One day she will have a mind of her own.
    Sometimes I see the girls, that were always dressed in pink and tutus and glitter and stuff, end up disliking that. So. You will find your way.
    And regarding so many presents, you can try to talk to your family, tell them, what you really need or ask them to buy more neutral stuff? Sometimes that helps, but not with everyone.
    Good luck.

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