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  1. #1
    Dreamer

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    Girl with brothers

    Hello everyone,
    I just found out we are having our third boy. One major reason for me to sway was to give our girl a sister. This will be our last child and it kind of hurts me to know she will never have a sister. I am trying to feel better and wanted to ask here. Here are a few moms with one girl and some boys or maybe you were yourself one girl and had brothers? Please if you have something positive to share please do. Or maybe you've read a story or there is a movie where it's one girl and some brothers? I feel like I really need this, since I had no brother and don't know how it is. And most movies I know focus on sister-sister or brother-brother relationship.

  2. #2
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    Hi Lailanela,

    I have two younger brothers and they (and now my sons) are everything to me. My brothers sometimes are cranky towards each other, but they always treat me with such care.
    Every sibling relationship is different of course, and now I am a mom who desperately wants a daughter, so now I am thinking "I wonder what it would have been like to have a sister".
    But to be quite honest, growing up, I didn't even think about a sister. It just felt perfect to have brothers is the only way I can describe it.

  3. #3
    Dreamer

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    Thank you so much. That sounds wonderful and it really helps me. It's really great to read about a good bond between a girl a her brothers.
    I'm still looking for a story, a book, a movie, anything where there is one sister and three brothers. Maybe anyone has read or seen anything?

  4. #4
    Big Dreamer

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    How are you going Lailanela? I’m in the same boat as you and finding it hard as I’ve only just found out our news that our 4th is a boy. I’m so sad for my daughter
    2009
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    2015 successful GD sway (thank you Atomic I’m eternally grateful!)
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    BFP September 2020 praying hard for a sticky sister for my daughter to complete our family

  5. #5
    Dreamer

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    Hey. I am actually doing really good. It took me some time to come to terms and then get excited but it really worked. (Actually I did not visit the site for a few weeks.)
    For me personally, I wanted a fourth child, in the end regardless of gender. First reason is, that I somehow just wished for one more (probably this will happen after this one, too. But I somehow feel it got less strong with each child) second reason is, I saw that my two older ones constantly tried to play without the third and it somehow broke my heart. Now we will have two and two and that will be perfect. (For us. And maybe you can see the pros in having four, too.)
    Our first (our girl) will be seven when baby comes. And I know she was wishing for a sister when I was pregnant with DS2 (we were team green). And I was just so scared that she would be really disappointed about this one being a boy. But she actually wasn't! I was insanely relieved. She herself said now she is the princess with a lot of brothers (there is a German fairytale). After that I also tried to show her all the ups to having three brothers (plus she really likes Merida, so that fits, too.)
    I don't know your girl but mine loves everything baby and I see she is just as happy that it's a boy, she's really excited.
    What helped me further, I looked at all the family constellations I know, and realized that there are a lot of great relationships between brothers and sister and actually there are a lot of bad ones between sisters (I'm sorry I don't want to offend anyone, it's just what I know from family and friends). And at some point I realized that I (for our family) am actually glad that I'm not having two boys and two girls. Because I know there are people in our extended family that cannot stop comparing two of the same gender kids. And by having 1 girl and 3 boys I won't worry about that. That makes me especially glad, since I was two girls at home and although I have a pretty good relationship with my sister now, growing up was sometimes hard, sad and lonely, because of the constant comparing!
    My boys and DH are actually thrilled, that it's a boy and that helped me too.
    And for all the other people, fake it till you make it. It works. I try to tell everyone we are thrilled it's a boy, because the boys wished for a brother (which they did) and we have a hell lot of nieces (which we do).
    And that helped me, too. We have some friends and some family that desperately wished for a boy, but didn't get one. This helped me in a weird way, (not that I feel I'm better than them) just to realize that some other people also wanted some gender and didn't get it, but still found peace with that and love their kids regardless of gender. That helped me.
    I wish you a great pregnancy and a beautiful baby. And I am sure you will soon realize this is in some way what your family needed.

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  7. #6
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Oh no for some reason I missed this!

    My daughter does not seem to mind at all being the only girl in all boys. She never talks about having a sister or wishing she had a sister. She also seems to enjoy being the only girl on the mommy-daughter team - we get to do things together just her and I that I don't do with the boys (and honestly I have some guilt over this at times.)

    While my two older boys no longer live at home, I still have three at home, and interestingly it's my 3rd boy who's the odd man out. My daughter and youngest son are as thick as thieves - and are sometimes rather mean to my 3rd son and I have to step in. Luckily he's much closer to his dad and often does things with his dad the others don't, but it's still a dynamic I never would have expected and that has surprised me.

    Long story short, this is something I thought would bother me a lot but hasn't been an issue at all!
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  8. #7
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Rereading your latest update reminded me that I regularly have blue swayers on here who do not want girls at all because they have TERRIBLE relationships with their sisters! It's no guarantee of a close relationship to have a sister, not at all.
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  9. #8
    Dream Vet

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    I'm an only child, and growing up my dream was to have loads of brothers. Preferably many older brothers but any brothers would do! I was never jealous of anyone with sisters, but seeing girls with their brothers made me ache and sometimes still does. I know we're all different and want different things, but just my perspective on the bro-sis thing.

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  11. #9
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Oh yes I desperately wanted a big brother growing up. I had dreams about finding out I had an older brother even into adulthood!!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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