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  1. #1
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    when sways ATTACK! updated 12-8-17

    or, why do people get sway opposites and what can we do about it? (Some of you may recall this was the title of my failed sway with DS 4 as well. Seemed appropriate. )

    Unfortunately, some sways do go bad and end up bringing us a sway opposite. Swaying does work https://genderdreaming.com/forum/swa...-part-1-a.html but not 100% of the time. There are tons of opposites even among the best sways.

    If you really truly cannot handle a sway opposite, then you need to investigate high tech or adoption, or postpone TTC until your head and heart are able to handle the possibility.

    The least important reason why sways fail, but the first thing most people think of, is lack of compliance. Some people don't want to or can't do all the various sway tactics. And you know what, that's totally, absolutely, 100% ok. You need to put your own personal sanity, well being, family's needs, and your marriage ahead of a sway at all times. After all, we all know tons of people who never do any of this crazy-a$$ stuff and have kids of both genders and there have been opposites with sways that were perfect and in people who swayed for 2 years before getting pg. It may be the only thing you need to do to get your DG is just get pregnant again.

    It's YOUR sway and it's up to you to pick and choose from the sway tactics out there. Never feel like your sway will go south if you don't include every OWT or vaguely science-ish tactic ever heard of. Even if you just do one tiny little thing, it's still a sway, it still sways your odds to some extent, even if it's only 1%. Even if you do nothing, you still have a chance at your DG! NO ONE is ever at fault for any sway opposite; if it's anyone's "fault" it's mine and I hope everyone feels free to blame me whenever anything goes wrong - throw darts at a dartboard with my picture on it, stick pins in a tiny atomic sagebrush-shaped voodoo doll, whatever it takes!

    That having been said, you have to own your decisions and be able to live with them. If you want to do a relaxed sway, that's great! If you need to get pregnant quickly and have to drop sway tactics, no worries. If you've had enough already and just want to have a baby in your arms, we've all been there. But if you cheat all the time on diet, you have to be honest with yourself, it's not going to be as effective for you as it would be if you were stricter. If all you choose to include in your sway is a wooden spoon under the bed and tighty whiteys, don't kid yourself that your sway is in any way a sure thing - NO sway is ever a sure thing, even the best of them.

    Whatever you include in a sway or drop, keep in mind that you're going to have to live with it - will you wake up for the rest of your life in a cold sweat at 3am wishing you had used Acijel?

    Some sways may fail is because of what DH brings to the table. If your husband won't or can't sway, there's not a lot you can do about it. Or SHOULD. One of my cardinal rules of swaying is, "If Daddy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Pressuring or bullying your hubby into swaying if he isn't interested, is a recipe for marital disharmony. There have been husbands that have gotten so annoyed with the entire show that not only do they refuse to sway, they pull the plug on the whole baby-making adventure and if you can't get pg, you have NO chance at your DG. Others may pretend to go along with it and then once out of eyesight, simply eat what they want, smoke what they want, and release when they want, which is almost worse than if they just refused to go along with it because at least then, you can have a stricter sway in other ways knowing that DH is not helping.

    It's very likely that DH is less important than what you yourself can accomplish alone, and many of us have had successful sways with DH that wouldn't do a thing to assist.

    Some sways may fail because of things that simply cannot be changed. It may very well be that some of us are just more "set" to produce more of one gender than another. We can change some things, but at the end of the day we've had a lifetime of eating certain foods, doing certain things in our lives, and even our DNA may be working against us to some extent. For a more thorough explanation of this principle, please read this: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...-swaying-odds=

    and here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ypothesis.html
    Some sways may fail because of the effect of swaying on our testosterone levels (update - we are no longer convinced that this is truly "testosterone" in and of itself. I'm trying to move away from using "testosterone" but everyone is SO familiar with the concept that most of us still call it that. but I am talking about being a control freak, detail oriented, swaycessed type of person, thinking about swaying all the time for pink, and for blue, just being so certain that you cannot succeed with swaying that you defeat yourself before you even get started) Pink swayers, you want lower T levels and by launching into new and exciting projects that are challenging to you, can increase T levels. Blue swayers, feeling overwhelmed, overstressed, and fearing failure can lower T levels. Please read this essay for more detail: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ly-demand.html

    Another reason why sways fail is BAD INFORMATION. Or NO information. We just don't have enough data at this point to really know or understand how swaying works. We are giving our best guess but we just don't have enough info to go on. Some things seem contradictory and other things we don't have explanations for. Things like blood sugar and hormone levels, not even the smartest researchers on the planet understand how those things even work, let alone interact with the gender ratio. Most of the "data" out there comes from people who have a vested financial interest in presenting a certain explanation of swaying - those who are selling a diet or sway program - and so their studies are pretty suspect to begin with.

    And it's probably pretty likely that this state of affairs will continue into the near future anyway - there is very little interest in gender swaying and gender ratio, at least in humans, and you can read more about why that is, here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/scie...s-swayers.html

    Update - we do have more info than we once did and I feel pretty good about the things we've learned over the last 5 years!

    THE MAIN REASON WHY SWAYS FAIL...drum roll please...

    ....bad luck.

    Sorry, I wish it was something more exciting like solar flares or pixie dust, terrorism or alien invasion; alas, no.

    Nothing that happens in the human body is ever effective 100% of the time. People smoke their whole lives and never get lung cancer, people eat eggs and bacon every day and live to be 99...yet no one would deny that smoking causes cancer. Even though it doesn't happen every time, overall, if you smoke, you're way more likely to get it than the average person is.

    In the case of gender ratio, Mother Nature has a vested interest in making sure that both boys and girls are always being born in some proportion. A species that started having all of one gender just because they ate some salt would have died out a long time ago. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/scie...gic-foods.html

    So IF, (and that's a BIG IF) swaying could ever get us to 80%/20% (which is what some of the info on diet seems to indicate) there would still be people having opposites 20% of the time. That's a LOT of opposites. And for those of us with 3,4,5 of the same gender already, if you only swayed on your last child, it doesn't mean swaying doesn't work for you or can't work, it just means that this ONE time, the odds didn't come up your way. You may have done a great sway. You may have gone from 20-80 where you conceived your other kiddos, to 80-20, and then just got unlucky that one time.

    Umm, well, then what's the point of even swaying anyway, if it just comes down to luck in the end anyway? Well, if you start off at let's say 75% likely to have Gender A, and only 25% likely to have Gender B, and then by doing a few easy sway tactics, you can get to 55-45, wouldn't you take that, even if you are still more likely to have an opposite?

    When I swayed with DS 4 and then DD, I knew I had a better than 50-50 shot at a boy from the get-go. My thinking was, if I could GET to 50-50 from where I was, I'd be thrilled with that and would take the flip of the coin at that point. If you start off with odds of 80-20, you'd have to have 5 kids before getting your DG (on average, and some people would have to go even higher if the dice didn't fall their way). Most people don't want that many kids, so if we can sway those odds to get our DG a little sooner, on kid 2 or 3 or 4, that's great.

    Swaying can never, ever, ever be a guarantee, unfortunately. But it can work and it can even work for you after a failed sway.

    May the odds be ever in your favor!

    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; December 8th, 2017 at 01:51 PM.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

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  3. #2
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    When Sways Attack 2: The Swayers Strike Back! Regrouping After a Failed Sway.

    Ok so here we are, the Land of the Opposites. Our little men or gals are here and we wuvs um crazy-like but our heart still dreams of our desired gender. HT isn’t an option for you. Now what??

    First of all, I do want to toss out the seemingly insane yet totally true idea that all you need to do to get your DG is just to get pregnant again. You can either simply reinact your previous sway OR don’t sway at all and just give it another go…you don’t HAVE to change anything or even DO anything. It may very well be that luck is on your side this time.

    The climate on gender swaying boards is all about more, more, more, so after a failed sway it can be a temptation to go superstrict, but you don’t HAVE to. And in fact, if you did a super perfect ultra awesome kitchen sink sway and got an opposite, it may be that a more relaxed approach is just what the doctor ordered.

    But if there are things that you would like to do differently, if you’ve been haunted by things you left out or new info that has come to light since you got your BFP, let’s take the above reasons why sways fail and examine how we can revise a sway for the better (note – still no guarantees).

    One thing we do have at our disposal at least for pink swayers, is a bigger body of info than we had before. For those who have not read this yet, here is a great compilation of statistics. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...tml#post756135

    Blue swayers, we don’t yet have anything like this for you guys and if you are handy with numbers/spreadsheets and want to make one, that would be fantastic!!
    Update - seriously, blue swayers, I have a questionnaire made and everything, all I need is the volunteer to make this happen! PM me

    Compliance.

    If you think your issue was in any way related to compliance, this is easy enough to change. Most people’s sways DO NOT fail for this reason though and so I don’t want ANYONE to start obsessing over what they did “wrong”, particularly if that entails having only 2 orgasms instead of 3 for blue or taking an antihistamine at 3 instead of 3:30 for pink.

    That’s not the type of compliance I’m talking about here –many times when sways go wrong, people can’t see the forest for the trees and begin to obsess over small and silly details that made utterly no difference while ignoring the elephant in the room…where people just don’t do the hard things, particularly with diet and exercise (ya know, the things that actually WORK) and then count on things that don’t sway much if at all to carry the day. No one’s sway has ever failed because they didn’t wear a rose quartz bracelet or burn incense, I promise.

    Blue swayers, the snacking, eating breakfast, lots of fruits and vegetables, healthy fats, and protein + carbs at every meal and snack, are important for you. And the weightlifting is very, very helpful for your sway’s success. Above all else, the most important thing is that you quit smoking!!! I also strongly urge that you include calcium, magnesium, and Vitamin D in your sway and eat only sane levels of sodium.

    Pink swayers, we have NEW info: We have seen best results with people who did LE Diet for more than 12 weeks before getting pg (in the stats, there’s a dip for those who were on diet 17-20 weeks, but I do not think it’s that diet suddenly becomes less effective for four weeks and then more effective again, it’s because people want to get pg at about that point and start dropping sway tactics)

    People can debate about the reasons why (is it because of reduced hormone levels, or because “swaycession” wears off after a few months on diet and T levels drop, or because 90 days is the lifespan of an egg – who knows) but there is def. a strong trend in that direction. Originally, I did not know if it would be better to hit it very hard on diet and get pregnant quickly or do a more slow and steady approach because they both seemed equally plausible. But now I think slow and steady has def. yielded better results!!

    So if it is at all possible to stay on diet for three months prior to getting pregnant, that’s great – but if you know yourself too well and know that you are going to cheat (aside from the occasional cheat which is allowed on LE Diet) then be realistic and do diet a shorter time before TTC – don’t set the bar so high for yourself that you set yourself up for failure. “She who reaches for the stars, often ends up flat on her face.”

    If you are over 35 (and particularly 38 or above), are very thin to begin with, or are planning a very strict sway that may mean you will require a longer time to conception, I advise starting diet no sooner than 6 weeks in advance of TTC.

    If you were taking prenatals with your previous sway, I really do advise against doing that. Contrary to popular belief, you do NOT need to start taking prenatals prior to pregnancy in order to have a healthy baby. There is a full explanation here in this thread http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...-diet-faq.html

    Aside from diet, exercise has yielded tons of successful pink sways and so if you start exercising, sticking to it is the best way to make sure your sway is a success.

    Update - we have had a lot of success with switching from the standard LE Diet to the alternate PCOS verision so pink swayers, if you got an opposite on standard LE Diet please switch to one of the alternate forms of LE Diet in this thread http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...rt-3-pcos.html (even if you don't have PCOS!!)

    Update - blue swayers, we have had success with dropping wheatgrass juice/supps, EPO, and ditching milk replacers, almond milk in particular! If you got an opposite doing these things these are definite changes to make!

    OVERcompliance!

    I think for both pink and blue we are seeing a trend where very strict, “kitchen sink” style sways are producing opposites. Stricter is not always good, more is not always better, and it is not acceptable for people to sway superstrictly for two years only to conceive an opposite…not on this site!! There are no guarantees with the strictest sways and lax ones succeed all the time.

    Blue swayers: Gaining a massive amount of weight on HE Diet, drinking Ural/ASG/baking soda/COT, avoiding/limiting cal-mag and eating massive amounts of sodium for months at a time, using BSF or BSD, slavishly sticking to Shettles timing with one attempt (check out the pink sway stats – one attempt is getting pink swayers GIRLS around 70% of the time, and that number drops into the 40's% when they do 3 attempts – which as some people may recall, is atomic’s recommendation for blue!)– all these things REDUCE odds of pregnancy and I believe reduce odds that your sway will succeed, considerably.

    You do NOT need to do High Everything Diet for 12 weeks before TTC. The rules are different for blue swayers. It is easier to optimize fertility and improve your condition for blue, than to reduce it and decline in condition to get pink. You will gain a ton of weight doing diet for 12 weeks before TTC and I think we have seen bad results for people who gain too much. 3-5 lbs up to 10-15 is fine. 30-50 lbs is NOT fine. 6 weeks on diet is plenty for blue swayers.

    When you are swaying blue, you need to do whatever it takes to get pregnant right away. Not only because you will gain too much weight, but also because some of the boy supps people take (such as l-arginine, among others) can raise T levels SO much that over time it actually reduces your estrogen, which in turn delays ovulation and dries up CM. Drier CM sways PINK!!!! Get pg ASAP for blue.

    PLEASE focus on what actually works and drop outdated sway tactics like Shettles with one attempt, which does not work and has now been verified not to work by our pink sway stats. 3-5 attempts in fertile window for blue!!!

    Pink swayers: I’m BEGGING here – start off doing LE Diet at a HIGHER calorie intake than you think you will need to do and see what happens. And stick to the limits of the diet, not only the upper limits but the lower limits as well. Just because the name of the diet is “Low Everything”, that does not mean NO everything. It is NOT and has never been a starvation diet. It is MY diet, I made it and it was NEVER my intent for people to be starving and miserable, quite the opposite in fact.

    When you reduce your nutrient intake too far, you will stop/delay ovulation and you’ll end up having to drop sway tactics and maybe even sway BLUE just to get pg at all. Also, if you cut cals too far your body just lowers metabolism and hangs onto everything it can get its greedy little enzymes on. And if your body “thinks” you may need to fight for food because you’re starving, it may even make more testosterone to better enable you to do that.

    Do not drop below 18.5 BMI and more like 21 BMI is probably best. You do not need to lose more than 3-5 lbs for a person of average weight. Heavier people will want to lose more (and can do so without stopping ovulation) but still, if you find you are losing more than 2 lbs a week after the first week (you will see large weight loss the first week of diet, as anyone who has watched the Biggest Loser will attest) then put on the brakes and slow the weight loss down. If you’re thin already, it’s best to try and hold steady where you’re at, and then if 1-3 lbs. sneak off while you do diet, usually that’s not enough to interfere with ovulation.

    Some people have had the idea to pregain or regain weight to lose. I do not think that’s a good idea at all and I strongly advise against it. It’s much better to do a slow and consistent approach, even if it means holding steady. When you gain weight, you ingest a lot of nutrients and your body stores them. So if you pregain weight in advance, all you are doing is allowing your body to store up a bunch of nutrients – it’s like taking 2 steps backwards before you even begin! And if you have to stop and regain weight, it can be even worse because your body may hold onto nutrients more easily than it did before and use them more efficiently. (please note, if you DO need to gain weight for your health, please do…my point is, don’t shoot yourself in the foot by starting off too strictly – start slow and get stricter if you NEED to so you don’t HAVE to regain weight in the first place.)

    That having been said, if you’re coming off a failed sway some of us have found that pregnancy weight gain and then weight loss after pregnancy seemed to cause a reduction in muscle mass. When I lost weight for my sway where I got DS4, even tho I lost a lot of weight, I still had a fair bit of muscle. Then I gained 80 lbs (ok it was prob. closer to 90 by the end of it) during my pregnancy and took it all off minus 3 lbs and I was a lot more flab and a lot less muscle, and that’s when I got my DD. It would be INSANE to try and gain and then lose 80/90 lbs (or even a more normal amount like 30-40) but it is something that most of us do during pregnancy, and it may help a sway our second time through.

    Supplements are another thing that have seemed to backfire for us. Vitex, saw palmetto, and peppermint tea have seemed to prove themselves to be really more trouble than they are worth. They screw up ovulation and make it super hard to know when you should have intercourse and for what?? Really not that great of odds of success (Update - we now have 5 years since I wrote this essay and I can say DEFINITIVELY these things are causing more trouble than they are worth and are actively harming sways) It may very well be better to do a good diet and have your cycle remain normal and remove the stress of wondering when/if you will ovulate, rather than stressing/obsessing about where the heck your egg is.

    Above all else what I REALLY want people NOT to do is say, “Well, my sway failed so that must mean I need to do timing, ions, moon, RepHresh + Replens + Acijel + Sylk + KY Jelly + spermicide, Chinese Gender Predictor, Biorhythms, and a partridge in my pear tree at the moment of conception.” I think we are doing it WRONG by being too strict at the start and only getting it wrong-er by launching these superhuman megasways that just have to be sending T levels skywards. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ypothesis.html

    I know it’s counterintuitive, but the solution, I believe is to focus on that which really works and lose the stuff that doesn’t work or barely works – particularly when that something is like Vitex and it’s such a pain in the butt that it isn’t even worth it.

    DH!

    Again, I must reiterate the cardinal rule of swaying: “If Daddy ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Don’t alienate or stress out your husband over sway tactics.

    Blue swayers: you have it a bit easier in this department because most guys want a son and are generally ok with going along with the program but HE MUST QUIT SMOKING. Diet, supps, regular release and 3-5 attempts in the fertile window are great if he’s willing, but above all else the smoking has GOT to go. I’ve done dozens of sway plans and I can tell you it’s NOT just some dusty study that’s been debunked, of the people who do questionnaires for a Blue Custom Sway plan, the husbands were smoking about 1/3 of the time and the wives were smoking about 1/5 of the time, and of the people who wanted girls, very few smoked or had husbands that smoked. It’s a big deal and I think it can really affect a sway negatively.

    Also, if he is very heavy, this could be a great opportunity to get him to lose some weight. Obesity in DH tends to sway pink.

    Update - jogging and biking have both seemed to be strong pink sways and so if your husband is a professional BMX biker (which has actually happened) you may be better off timing your blue sway to coincide with his off season.

    Pink swayers: The stats on frequency patterns are really just not that great – I believe the statistics indicate that number of attempts sways more than frequency. Personally, I think frequency barely sways in an otherwise good sway, and I HATE the amount of attention it gets and stress it causes. It is NOT WORTH the trouble. It keeps swaying in the forefront of your mind at all times and creates hostility between you and DH which your body may interpret as competition, which can raise your T levels and inadvertently sway blue. Plus, I am not at all sure that the majority of people can really trust their DH to comply, particularly with abstain. It is WAY better to shoot for something he’s actually going to do than to try to make him do something he can’t or won’t. (Update - 5 years in, the frequency patterns have NOT worked and one attempt HAS. Focus on one attempt!)

    I would like to introduce a new idea into the realm of frequency patterns – having DH release every 2-4 or 4-6 days and then have one attempt at pos OPK. This is the frequency and BD pattern that got me my DD. At first blush this would appear to be a boy sway release pattern (and it IS) but people are simply not getting pregnant doing these superstrict sways, they are having to drop stuff and since frequency is not even yielding very good results WHY even bother with it to begin with?? Especially if you’ve already gotten an opposite using frequency. Let it go and avoid another source of swaycession. (Update - 5 years in, I can say this is a great tactic that has led to quicker times to conception and I use it all the time now.)

    Supps for DH is something that some people may want to change up a bit in a second sway. If your husband didn’t take licorice root the first time through, you may want to try that, and if LR is not appropriate for him http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-...depth-how.html then he can do peppermint tea instead. Update - Licorice root has gotten dreadful results of late and I no longer think it is worth the effort. I do still keep it in the mix but using it less and less. While on paper it ~should~ sway pink, it really does not seem to be a heavy hitter.

    Some new things to try are soy milk 12-24-48 oz. a day and tonic water. They both may help lower T levels. Also, if you gave your hubby cranberry previously and got an opposite, you may want to try 500-1000 mg Olive Leaf Extract instead. Husbands taking OLE had great gender splits with IVF – now, it’s a gamble because we don’t know if those numbers in a petri dish, are going to translate into success with natural conceptions, but if you did not have luck with cran in the past (or your husband got sick on it which many have) then OLE may be worth a try. OLE is the only supp that I am aware of that seems to be beneficial for sperm health and quality, yet still sways pink, so if the other supps were not appropriate for your husband’s health or he has lower than normal sperm health, OLE could also be an option for you as well. Having him take a Sudafed 1-2 hours before attempt may help too.

    Also, if there is any way to get him onto a bike or jogging for exercise, that has been shown in studies to yield more daughters. (Update - of all the things I just suggested, this is the ONLY thing I truly believe in. Smoking and jogging/biking - actually working. Possibly working - OLE and soy milk. The rest of the stuff - probably is not helping and may be hurting by lowering odds of conception)

    Swaycession

    I believe this to be a HUGE reason behind sways going south. I’m working on an essay that will address this more in depth, the beginnings of which can be read here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ypothesis.html but for our purposes just a brief overview...

    Blue swayers: It is OK if you can’t do everything or get diet exactly right. As long as you’re moving in the direction of more, that’s all you need to do. The act of swaying can actually help raise your T levels and conceive a son, but if you are so stressed out and discouraged from thinking that it’s impossible or that you will never get it right, then you’re defeating yourself before you even begin. 140-160 boys are conceived for every 100 girls – the odds are on your side. You CAN get a son.

    PLEASE focus on the things that YOU can change instead of supernatural forces such as astrology, Jonas method, or biorhythms – not only do these things not sway, but the focus that some blue swayers seem to put onto supernatural forces and swaying, can actually harm your sway. If you view your child’s gender as being out of your control, that is not good for your sway. You can sway successfully with diet and exercise and supps, plus regular release of every 2-4 days,with 3-5 attempts in your fertile window. Supernatural forces do not sway and I do not want people to start skipping good months because of astrology – you will end up gaining a lot of weight that way.

    (Note - Yes, some pink swayers believe in astrology and so on too, it’s just that it’s really bad for a blue sway to attribute things to supernatural causes rather than things that are under your control. It may be good for a pink sway to do that and thus pink swayers do not get that recommendation. Just don’t want there to be any confusion there – I am not saying blue swayers are more likely to believe in supernatural stuff, it’s just that believing in supernatural stuff is especially bad for a blue sway.)

    Pink swayers: You have GOT to avoid swaycession at all costs. I just cringe when I read some of the stuff people are doing and planning for their sway. I BEG you to do a simple, maintainable sway that does not consume your entire life. The less you think about swaying, the better. Avoid taking on big, elaborate, exciting, highly involved plans and projects that feel like they have a lot riding on them (aka swaying itself.) Again, I strongly urge you to let go of things that barely sway such as frequency and possibly even vitex/saw palmetto, in order to focus on the things that really do sway – diet, exercise, lifestyle.

    Boy moms tend to be control freaks and feel like they have to be in control of every aspect of their environments all the time. Swaying can completely play into this tendency. Back on IG there were people who made colorcoded charts of their pH fluctuations for months before swaying and were panicking in tears if there was a fluctuation from 4.3 to 4.6 (I am not exaggerating, this happened all. the. time. And most of the time they weren’t even around O time anyway and it could not possibly have mattered to their sway.) I don’t even want you guys to test pH. It’s just another thing to obsess over. I got a boy testing pH 2-3 times a day and it was 4.5 every time and never went up once until I was already pregnant, then I got my girl while refusing to check pH at all and I did nothing to lower it.

    Douching, while it has gotten good results for pink, is a prime example of this – at least how douching is recommended by IG anyway. You have to check pH constantly and do all this mixing and measuring and tracking and testing and OMG if your pH goes up even for a minute your sway is doomed – that is exactly what you DON’T want to be doing. This state of constant hypervigilance, that feeling that at any second disaster will strike if you are not prepared with a lime clenched tightly in both fists and doing vaginal perimeter checks every 30 minutes, that is precisely the mindset that makes boys.

    Visualization, where you picture your success, is a horrible idea for pink. All it does is keep swaying in the front of your mind all the time and it can raise T levels if you envision success strongly enough. Also, even tho it may be a good thing for pink swayers to attribute things to being out of their control and in the hands of higher powers, Lady Luck, and supernatural forces, I DO NOT want people to take that as carte blanche to then include Chinese Gender Predictor, biorhythms, Jonas, moon phases, ions, and solar flares. These are all potential sources of obsession that take a high level of control to figure out and include. Saying, “Well, I’m going to do what is reasonable, then at the end of this, I acknowledge that it’s all it’s really in the hands of God/luck” is good for a pink sway. Saying, “Well atomic said supernatural stuff can help my sway so I’ve researched all these things for 3 months and have developed a 12 point plan for including them in my sway. Would you like to see the PowerPoint presentation I designed??” No, no, no, and no. Did I mention NO??

    The same goes for relaxation. I want you to avoid taking on big new projects, but several people have read that relaxation can be good for pink and so then mounted “Relaxa-palooza 2013” where they have a daily schedule like “Listen to relaxing music from 10:30 to 11, lavender bath from 11-11:30, Tai Chi from 12-1, meditate from 1-1;15, ponder wind moving in trees during leisurely walk from 1:15-2, relaxing music again from 2:15-2:37, paint nails at 2:45. Husband will give a relaxing massage every evening, drink 250 mL white wine mixed with diet Sierra Mist, and then yoga for 1 hour before bed.” All the planning and scheduling and having to do this now and this now, it’s NOT relaxing. Even if you feel relaxed while you’re doing it (and I kinda doubt it because I know pink swayers and I’d bet dollars to doughnuts they’re all obsessing over their sway the entire time), it’s all about the next thing and checking off boxes on your mental to do list. This raises T levels.

    Live your life. People have taken the “no exercise” thing so far that they aren’t taking their kids to the park and living in a darkened room to avoid Vit. D from sunlight. You NEED to live a normal life while swaying. Completely upending your existence does not help you get your DG, and in fact it can absolutely backfire on you by keeping swaying in the forefront of your mind at every second.

    Getting stressed out by your kids, DOES NOT SWAY. That sort of stress is not the type of thing that raises testosterone (far from it LOL). What may sway, is getting stressed out by your kids, and then thinking “OMG I’m getting stressed out, I gotta calm down, I gotta calm down or my sway will fail!!” and then hyperventilating and ending up breathing into a paper bag for 15 minutes. Please just live your life – the ONLY reason I warn about stress is to get people to stop the swaycessing. That people continue swaycessing over normal day to day things instead, NO, that is not the point at all and has never been my desire or intention. Don’t swaycess or take on big new projects if you can avoid it (like making colorcoded pH charts). That’s IT. Let the rest go. Your kids arguing over who gets the bigger half of a cupcake will NOT ruin your sway. We ALL have kid- and hubby-related stress, boy moms and girl moms alike.

    Do what you can do and then leave it in the hands of a higher power, whether that higher power is God, Mother Nature, Lady Luck, the Powers That Be, The Ghost of Christmas Past, the Force, or the spirit of Charles Darwin. This may even be easier after a failed sway because you may already have firsthand info that even the best sways may not work. You can’t make this happen if you work hard enough or try hard enough or do things right enough or deserve it enough, it just doesn’t work that way.

    BAD or NO information.

    Blue swayers: I really wish I had more for you ladies in terms of hard stats but at this point in time, I really don’t. We have gotten pretty darn good results for blue with HE Diet, weightlifting, Preseed, nutritional supplements, and reg. release with 3-5 attempts in fertile window. I’m very happy with the numbers we are getting and also how our blue swayers are getting pregnant quickly and with fewer losses than on the other site. (please note the majority of these opposites were IG-style sways and I have a thread in the Dream Members section comparing the success rates – HE Diet and GD-style sway was much more successful) http://genderdreaming.com/forum/add-...we-having.html

    I want all blue swayers to be taking Vit. D and a probiotic. I know that IG has these listed as pink supps but we actually had to drop probiotics from pink sways, it was the only sway tactic that was less than 50-50 and probiotics really seemed to be a strong blue sway!!! Vit. D has been shown to raise testosterone and improve fertility; additionally it may play some part in signaling to your body that the season is good for TTC a boy (more boys are conceived in late summer and early fall, after a summer of sunshine http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...s-swaying.html) and we’ve gotten great results with it. Please include both Vit. D and probiotic in your blue sway no matter what you read elsewhere. They’re GOOD for blue.

    I also STRONGLY recommend doing Preseed or Conceive Plus or some other “sperm safe, conception friendly” jelly instead of baking soda or egg whites. I am convinced that baking soda inhibits conception and causes yeast infections, cervical erosion, and bleeding, and egg whites also inhibit conception, cause yeast infections, and may even contribute to uterine infections that can cause miscarriage. If you got an opposite doing any of those things (or had an unexplained miscarriage and then got pregnant afterwards – TTC after a loss can sway pink) then this is something that is easy to change and may give you a different outcome.

    There are at present two things I am wondering about for blue sways – bear in mind that I do not know if they are good or bad, I’m just wondering about them.

    UPDATE VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE PLEASE READ!!

    EPO and flaxseed and other Omega 6 fats such as those found in almond milk we believe are swaying pink. I have all but given up on these things (and have given up on flaxseed totally because it is probably not safe. NO EPO except for people on a full keto diet (which I never recommend while TTC anyway). No flaxseed oil for anyone TTC and please drink full fat dairy and NOT milk replacers, especially almond milk. You may also want to skip wheatgrass supplements totally and go very easy on wheatgrass juice maybe just a bit around O if you MUST.

    EPO/Flaxseed and other Omega 6’s – good or bad for a blue sway? (Update - THEY"RE BAD FOR A BLUE SWAY! AVOID) There have recently been a handful of studies that seemed to indicate a diet higher in Omega 6 fatty acids (the type found in EPO/flaxseed and also refined veg. oils and shortening) than Omega 3 fatty acids (the kind found in fish oil, olive oil, and DHA supps) sways pink. So I want you guys to be very very very careful that you are FOR SURE getting more Omega 3 fish oil (preferably twice as much) as you are Omega 6 EPO/flax. If you are taking 500 mg EPO, you should be taking 1000 mg fish oil. (UPDATE - DITCH EPO TOTALLY and cut fish oil intake to no more than 500!) And in your diet, I want you to be trying to get more Omega 3’s than you are Omega 6 – this should be fairly easy to do, just avoid non-olive vegetable oils and margarine. But there tend to be a lot of Omega 6 in baked goods too, so if you’re eating a lot of them, you may need to keep an eye on it. Full fat dairy is fine and allowed. If you can't stand it, eat butter and coconut oil.

    Whole grains or refined for blue sway? We got pretty good results with fiber supplements for pink sways (fiber can absorb fats and fat soluble nutrients and sweep them from your body before they have a chance to be absorbed), and there are compounds in whole grains called “phytates” than can bind with minerals and block them from being capable of use by your body. The problem is, that refined grains are way way worse for blood sugar and have fewer nutrients in them to begin with. If a person was religious about protein + carbs, you could get away with refined grains and avoid the whole dilemma. Or, you can skip the grain issue all together and get your carbs because grains make you gain a ton of weight anyway. UPDATE - the jury is still out on this, but we are getting GREAT results for pink with a diet that is entirely focused on fruit, veg, and whole grains. I am really, really feeling that if you are a blue swayer who had an opposite, especially if you ate a lot of whole grains when you did, ditch em the second time around. (really tho, grains are very calorically dense for the nutrients you get and you’re prob. best off just giving them a pass most of the time anyway, in favor of meat and fruit and veg). That having been said, if you are a vegetarian/vegan I do advise you stick with the whole grains because they have more protein in them than the refined grains do.

    Pink swayers:

    The bad/no info problem is beginning to be solved to some extent as we compile our own stats but even with our own stats as tools, it can be kinda hard to tell what is going on really. People do so many things all at the same time and the water gets really muddied – people who do a lot to sway tend to be very strict in all arenas (diet and exercise) and this may make some sway tactics look way more effective than they really are (I hope it is obvious that putting girl clothes under your bed does nothing for swaying, but because people did it while doing other sway tactics, it looks to be 61% effective on the stats!!! )

    Also, when people go on a long time without getting pregnant, they start to drop sway tactics (usually dropping several all at once) and this may make some sway tactics look less effective than they really are. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...tml#post756135 One thing I would really like to see is that when pink swayers begin to drop tactics, they do so one or two at a time instead of panicking after 2 BFN and dropping everything. (including diet!)

    Still, despite the statistical confusion involved, I do think there are some easy to do things we can certainly change up.

    1)Drop probiotics. Probiotics were the only tactic that got worse 50-50 and though I have tried and tried to come up with any possible alternate explanation, I think the only conclusion that can be drawn is that probiotics sway blue in a pretty strong way (they can make nutrients and help your body use the nutrients present in food).

    2)Keep (increase) or include fiber. Fiber has dropped in terms of success recently but for awhile there it was yielding quite high results and I think it can really help.

    3)Vitex, saw palmetto, peppermint tea: Are these really even worth the trouble they cause?? I’m not sure. Update - I AM sure and they are NOT worth it. They make people’s cycles crazy unpredictable, and while I do think they sway pink, it may not be strong enough a sway tactic to make up for the insanity. Use your own judgement on this – if part of the reason why you think you conceived an opposite was because your cycle went so crazy you had to drop diet in order to get it back to normal again, then it’s probably not worth the risk for you. If it didn’t do anything to your cycle and you feel like you’re super high in T, you may want to try JUST SP or pep tea. If you’re breastfeeding and you have no cycle, you may want to try JUST vitex.

    At any rate, they are not mandatory and if you got an opposite while taking them, you may want to leave them out this time. Another option would be to take them for several months prior to a sway and then drop them – several people did get girls after having taken Vitex for some time and then stopping it (including me) and while I did also get a boy on Vitex, I had only taken it for 2 months (2 weeks on, 2 weeks off) before I got pg, versus with my DD where I had taken it for 6 months before I conceived and actually dropped it that month because it was making my period nonexistent.

    4)Antihistamines, cranberry, aspirin: Update: The stats on these are useless but none of them seem to be helping - the same number of people get girls with and without them and it's the same as the overall success rates of the site. Plus cran/aspirin are not safe and antihistamines cut odds of conception.

    New info has been brought to my attention regarding the potential for aspirin to possibly delay ovulation. Your body actually needs to be a little bit “inflamed” for ovulation to occur and since aspirin is an anti-inflammatory, it may delay O for some people. The data indicates that this condition (called LUFS, Luteinized Unruptured Follicle Syndrome) happens at higher doses of aspirin than what we take (in excess of 300 mg a day) and also that it’s generally people who take regular doses of aspirin for pain relief OR in people who take a short term high dose of aspirin for illness or headache. Taking low dose aspirin the way that we take it is not believed to cause LUFS but if you previously had ovulation delayed for reasons that were not clear which then caused you to have to drop lots of sway tactics in order to get pg, it may be that the aspirin is delaying O for you and you should skip it in favor of getting pregnant more quickly on a strict diet/exercise regimen. (Ibuprofin and Tylenol may cause LUFS as well.)

    Update - additionally, new data has been brought to light indicating that aspirin is MUCH riskier than we first thought and I cannot in good conscience recommend it for anyone any more with the exception of those with proven clotting disorders and who are actively under the care of a doctor. No aspirin, no cranberry, and expecially, especially not BOTH.

    5)Douching vs. Jellies: Douching did seem to produce better results than jellies, with a much smaller sample size. I’m still not a fan of douching; I think these numbers are more indicative of the fact that strict swayers are more likely to include douching while more relaxed swayers are more likely to include jelly. There were PLENTY of douching opposites on IG – nowhere near 80% effectiveness, and their stats for the EGS which involved tons of douching, were only 50-50.

    Still, if you got an opposite with jelly and want to give douching a try, that’s fine – may be worth a go. I personally recommend a storebought douche 2-8 hours before an attempt (length of time varies on how big a hurry you are in to get pg) and remember, while you can do douching with Acijel and Sylk, don’t use it with RepHresh. Also, do not use Preseed/Conceive Plus with douche. I think the homemade douches provide too many opportunities for contamination and infection and I really advise against the douching the way IG advises – the insane and obsessive checking pH every 30 minutes will send your testosterone levels skyrocketing.

    Also along these same lines, don’t overdo with jellies either. The longer you go on getting BFN, the more likely it is that you end up dropping things that actually sway like diet, and the jellies have just not given us overwhelming results. If you went for 6 months on a strict sway getting BFN before giving up, dropping everything, and getting an opposite, PLEASE try TTC without the jelly or with a very light amount before. Staying superstrict while you waste away to nothing, and then suddenly dropping everything in a panic and having to gain 5 lbs to get ov. back is not going to get you your DD.

    6)Timing does NOT sway, and PLEASE do not look over the stats and decide to do timing based on the numbers. Firstly because the stricter swayers do timing and so it’s almost certainly a red herring – it's the other things are swaying, NOT timing. And secondly because there is NO way for us to know if people were even correct on their timing. If you hang around the gender swaying boards you will soon learn that people have a really hard time pinpointing O, fake pos OPK plague us, even when people are 100% sure when they conceived they go in for ultrasounds and find out it was a week earlier or a week later – this happens ALL the time. So that anyone was able to pinpoint their ovulation to the hour and then BD 12 hours after that - it strains belief past the breaking point for me. PLEASE do not pin the outcome of your sway on timing. If you got an opposite, it was NOT because of timing.

    7)Frequency patterns vs. number of attempts: One attempt had far better results, two attempts wasn’t too much worse, then 3 attempts was terrible. 4 or more attempts seemed to increase odds of pink, but I think this is because people who were having trouble conceiving did that many attempts, and lower fertility = more girls. People on Clomid also did numerous attempts and Clomid = more girls. I strongly urge people to let go of frequency patterns (talked about this in one of the prev. sections so I won’t go over it again) and keep the one attempt, at least the first month or two.

    It is TOTALLY possible to get pg from one attempt at pos OPK IF you do not go overboard with other sway tactics. Too many people are keeping in the jellies/antihistamines and then adding attempts. One attempt has yielded way better results than the jellies have, so if you need to give up something, try giving up the jellies first and keeping the one attempt. Quite a few people have kept the jelly and increased attempts and gotten opposites.

    8)Exercise: Exercise has gotten phenominal results and I strongly advise giving it a try if at all possible. When it comes down to which is better, eating more calories and doing exercise, or eating less and doing couch potato, I'm sorry, I do not yet have enough data to say.

    9)Clomid: if there’s any way to get it legitimately, I’d try. Great results. Update - Femara, a similar medication, has had even better results and is also highly recommended.

    10)Jump and dump: If you got an opposite laying flat, try a 5 min. j and d. If you were doing an immediate j and d with 21 days abstain and a 9 day cutoff for 8 months and then weren’t getting pg, so you dropped everything all at once and gained 5 lbs and then BD through O, STILL try a 5 min. j and d. I really think one of the fundamental problems that is causing us to have so many opposites, is the going from superstrict to superlax all at once.

    Bad luck.

    It’s always going to be there. Swaying will never be 100% or even close to it, if it was possible the human race would have died out long ago. If you can't live with that, I advise HT.

    Just to wrap up, it’s not necessary to do EVERYTHING and in fact, it is possible to do too much. I totally understand wanting to come back from an opposite and doing everything that you’ve ever heard or read about to sway, but that’s not necessarily going to work and it may even give a higher chance of an opposite than your previous sway.

    You have probably heard the old story about the wind and the sun but if not…

    The wind and the sun were having an argument about which one was the strongest. Along came a traveler and the wind said, “I’m so strong that I can blow that guy’s coat right off!!” The wind blew and blew as hard and as cold as it could, but the traveler just drew his coat tighter around him. “My turn,” replied the sun, and began to shine. In only a few moments the traveler got so warm that he removed his coat of his own free will.

    The best way to sway is to get your body to do what you want it to do – you can’t force it or make it happen, you just have to send the signals and then wait.
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; December 8th, 2017 at 02:27 PM.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

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  5. #3
    Dream Vet
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    May the odds be ever in your favor! Haha nice, sadly they never are for me and family at least not lately! I knew it was never 100% and I started late so even though I was expecting to get pregnant with a girl I'm not so upset I didn't because I didn't do everything I could. However I'm not sure if swaying is for me I am going through a hard time trying to decide if I want to adopt the next one. Will I regret not trying once more though? I mean number 4 could be my girl
    DS 1 2008
    DS 2 2010
    DS 3 2013

    May 2014 at 5 weeks

    August 2014 at 12 weeks

    DD1 our beautiful rainbow baby joined us october 2015. No sway...just miracles.

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    '04'06'10'14

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    "throw darts at a dartboard with my picture on it, stick pins in a tiny atomic sagebrush-shaped voodoo doll, whatever it takes!"

    '04'06'10'14

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    Our due in March, April and May thread is full of opposites at the moment. But I do have to say these women are some of the most inspirational, caring women I've come across. I'm happy we are going through this journey together and I can't wait to see all the pics of our baby BOYS when they're born. Love you girls!!!
    Last edited by ThreeMenAndALAdy; November 10th, 2012 at 09:29 PM.
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    I really had little regrets with my last sway, but def. have a list of things to do different next time. I think swaying is like anything else, you have to try many things and do things differently to figure out the right combo b/c everyone is so different and there is no magic bullet.

    I also really feel like stress in the 2WW (being a POAS addict) and then the stress of getting back into "next cycle" mode contributed to my failed sway. I am just grateful I get one more shot after this baby is born!
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    Well said, yet again, Atomic. This gives a lot of perspective. But I don’t think anybody wants to blame you at all- we appreciate that you pour your heart and soul into this site and know that your heart breaks when someone’s heart is breaking on here. Right now the “science” of gender swaying is total darkness and you have a little flashlight and are helping us along as well as you can- none of us see the whole picture. But we sure appreciate the lady with the flashlight.
    12.24.08 4.13.10 third and last. It is nice being queen of my castle but would love to add a princess.


    My Ovulation Chart
    || Ovulation Tracker

    After 12 months ttc, taking a little sanity break. Fx to all of the dear ladies on here in the meantime.

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    Love this post Atomic, I must admit the length of time it took me to gain my bfp helped me gain a little perspective. I do believe swaying works but i really don't think it will work for me, HT is not an option and i wanted the peace of mind of knowing that i did all i could. I know its a long shot, the main reason i gravitated towards this site was more for the gd aspect and having moms that understand to share that with (a shot at my dg was a bonus), it was so hard going through it all alone with ds3.

    Anyway i think the more time goes on and you have to start dropping things gives you a little less confidence in the sway and more of a reality that it is not 100%, also seeing the best sways fail for me made me realise even if i achieved perfection there was no guarantee so i may as well stop punishing myself and do my best.

    The only thing really worrying me around here is everyone plugging clomid up to be a big thing with 100% accuracy, which it will have as there are only a few people who have tried it. Don't me wrong i took it for swaying reasons but still doubt it to work, i was hoping i could genuinely have a 50/50 toss this time.

    Just for the record, i don't think anyone blames you Atomic, we all go into this knowing its not guaranteed, your are an amazing woman who has helped many peoples dreams come true and your help is invaluable at least you've ensured we stand a chance! My opinion is that god/mother nature/ whatever else you believe in (for me its god) is in charge and that ultimately you get the child your family needs (even if you don't know it at the time) and that even with the best of wills sometimes life just finds a way (look at pink4me he little boy was just mean't to be). Yes GD sucks, i've lived it but its more about the child you don't have rather than the one you do have, swaying opposites (my little ds3 at least) seem to be more precious x
    Me, DH, the three musketers:

    DS1

    DS2

    DS3

    And our little princess



    By the grace of god our precious little girl joined our family, hoping and praying for many happy years together

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    And I think you are amazing Atomic. I did all that I could, and I have you to thank for that.
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