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  1. #1
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    No-Fault Swaying!

    Updated 12-24-17

    You may have read in various places that eating certain foods, taking certain supplements, or doing the deed (DTD) in a special position or at a certain time of the month, will guarantee you a baby of a particular gender. According to some, it’s almost as if, should you do all the right things, you will be all but promised a particular gender. Then if your sway doesn’t work out, then you’re left feeling guilty for that Ding Dong you ate 3 weeks before you ever got pregnant and/or angry with your husband because he didn’t want to ice his testicles!! (For more on this issue, please read this essay http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...hat-they-said=)

    But that’s NOT what swaying is fundamentally all about. Swaying isn’t like following a recipe, where you add a pinch of this and a pinch of that, and if you do everything exactly right, 9 months later a baby of your desired gender (DG) will pop out of the oven. At of the day, swaying has very little to do with what you ate or didn’t eat on any one day or even every day, or any one thing you did or didn’t do.

    Instead, swaying has everything to do with what is happening inside of your body. It’s what’s happening inside you and your husband (DH’s) body that determines your childrens’ gender. That’s why some people have ‘perfect’ sways but conceive opposites, while others who have never even heard the word ‘swaying’ (other than the wind through the trees) conceive children of both genders without even trying.

    Of all the females that have ever been born on this earth, very few of their parents were ingesting large quantities of Crystal Light, and of all the males, practically all were conceived without testicle icing!!! YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO ANY ONE THING OR EAT ANY ONE FOOD TO MAKE YOURSELF HAVE A CHILD OF A PARTICULAR GENDER. You can do absolutely nothing any differently than you have every other day of your life, and still conceive a child of your DG - even if you’ve had 3-4-5-6 or even more of the other gender already. Because your internal body chemistry naturally changes from week to month to year, it may very well be that all you need to do to get your DG is simply get pregnant.

    If that’s the case then, why even bother attempting to change our external environment? Why not just try to conceive (TTC) naturally, and hope for the best?

    We could, actually. Any of us willing to “Duggar-it-out” and have an unlimited number of children, would eventually have an opposite, or even several. But for the rest of us, who may prefer smaller families for whatever reason, we may want to try to assist Mother Nature in whatever way we can.

    Swaying works in two ways. By far the most important way, is by actually "convincing" your body to conceive a child of a particular gender by changing certain cues in your environment, and the other is by mimicking the physical processes through which your body conceives a child of a particular gender. So with every aspect of swaying, we’re working towards accomplishing one or both of those goals. We have to keep them BOTH in mind. In other words, if as evidence suggests, low sperm count sways pink, it doesn’t matter if a man is an overweight smoking deep sea diver who wears tighty whities and sits in a hot tub all day drinking aspartame-laced cranberry juice, if his sperm count remains high despite all that, he’s still going to father more sons than daughters. He did everything right in terms of swaying, but it wasn't enough to "convince" his body.

    To sum up, swaying is not a matter of, do X,Y, and Z and you WILL get a guaranteed result. If it were, it would be called ‘guaranteeing'. You can do everything right and your body still may believe it’s better for you to have an opposite. You can do everything wrong and your body may still believe it’s better for you to have your DG even after several of the other gender.

    So here's the approach on Gender Dreaming - No-Fault Swaying. In which we all do the best we can with what we personally feel comfortable with...no second-guessing each other, no obsessing over the tiniest detail once the deed is done, NO BLAMING ANYONE EVER IF THEIR SWAYS FAIL!!! Although our goal is to come up with the very best sway techniques we can, even the very best sway is never going to be a guarantee because we cannot control every aspect of our bodies. Swaying isn't worth ruining your life, health, or marriage over.

    Wishing everyone the best of luck!!!
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; December 24th, 2017 at 03:47 PM.

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  3. #2
    Dream Vet
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    very well put. I have been guilty of it myself, thinking one little thing that I did wrong could have ruined my sway. I'm really glad that you put this out there for everyone to see because hopefully now we can all be a bit gentlier with ourselves
    = One little prince! (2008) and
    Two little princesses (2010) (2013) successful girl sways


    (my chart) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/234f4a

  4. #3
    Dream Vet

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    I am really staring to see that people's bodies are set along a varying spectrum of gender-friendliness- some people's natural state just has the right chemistry for one or the other, and for some people, overcoming that chemistry is very very difficult, and there are no 100% known, studied, for sure ways of doing this anyways. Great essay! Thanks!

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  6. #4
    Big Dreamer
    Jojogirl's Avatar
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    I love this and it's so true!
    Mommy to 5 beautiful children and 3 angels in heaven

    (13 years old)
    (11 years old)
    (8 years old)
    (6 years old)
    (22 months)

    Expecting AGAIN!! Due May 2016. Will it be or ??

    3/11 at 7 weeks
    6/11 at 7 weeks
    11/8/11 @ 18 weeks of pregnancy. Our angel

    Our family is complete

  7. #5
    Dreamer

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    This is great! I will have to remember this when I TTC in 5 months!

  8. #6
    Dream Vet

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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    it doesn’t matter if a man is an overweight smoking deep sea diver who wears tighty whities and sits in a hot tub all day drinking aspartame-laced cranberry juice
    no but how sexy is this image? totally makes you want to make babies!

  9. #7
    Coccinelle33
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    Quote Originally Posted by lindi View Post
    no but how sexy is this image? totally makes you want to make babies!
    lmao this was the best part

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  11. #8
    Dream Vet
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    "In other words, if as evidence suggests, low sperm count sways pink, it doesn’t matter if a man is an overweight smoking deep sea diver who wears tighty whities and sits in a hot tub all day drinking aspartame-laced cranberry juice, if his sperm count remains high despite all that, he’s still going to father more daughters than sons."

    So for ttc pink, are we going for low or high sperm count? Low right?
    2010 2012 2015--home water birth VBA2C!!
    praying for one last

  12. #9
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    yes low for pink, thank you I will correct
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

  13. #10
    Dreamer

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    Thanks Atomic, we all needed this. Sometimes it's reassuring to remind ourselves that we should not beat ourselves up (or our DH) for a slip here or there... or being human and weak at times. LOL Admittedly, I initially felt SO guilty at the Bar-B-Que my husband and I attended this past weekend... scanning the table of delicious and oh so tempting food, debating to myself on whether or not I would have some. Ultimately, in the end I did make the decision to have smaller portions, but still allow myself the treat. I figured the last thing I need for TTC at all was to be stressed, anxious and miserable. That doesn't do anyone any favors either way for getting pg. Not to mention, my hubs is very good at reading my emotions and I don't want him to be stressed or feel guilty either.

    Anyway, I have to say... When I read this: "it doesn’t matter if a man is an overweight smoking deep sea diver who wears tighty whities and sits in a hot tub all day drinking aspartame-laced cranberry juice, if his sperm count remains high despite all that, he’s still going to father more sons than daughters." I could not stop laughing. I literally laughed out loud to myself. HAHAHAHA You sure do have a way of keeping it light when still making a valid point. Thanks again for the verbal "attitude adjustment" some of us needed, myself included. It's so easy to find yourself immersed in the overwhelming obsession when you desire something so deeply, and I needed a realty check.

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