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  1. #1
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    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    how to do TBM and why you probably shouldn't do it for gender swaying

    What is TBM??

    TBM stands for "turkey baster method", meaning a method of high-tech at home where your sperm donor, whoever that may be, gives a sample of sperm (either via masturbation or by using a sperm-safe condom) that you either then inject directly into your body (you don't actually use a turkey baster, unless it's Thanksgiving and you happen to have one handy) or treat with chemicals to alter the pH and then inject into your body as a gender swaying technique.

    Who does such a thing and why? Well, there are two sets of people who do TBM. One is people who are trying to get pregnant by someone they don't want to have intercourse with...lesbian couples who want a baby for example, and situations in which a woman who is unable to conceive, allows her sister or friend to be artificially inseminated by her husband in order to have a child that is biologically related to her husband. TBM is effective and much more affordable than a sperm bank (but do be aware that STDs can be spread this way.)

    The second group is people who want to manipulate, or alter, the pH of semen for gender swaying purposes.

    The directions given work equally well for both groups - obviously if your main concern is getting pregnant, there are steps that you should skip in the process.

    Is that even safe? As far as we know, the DNA of sperm cannot be altered once it has left a man's body, and TBM is believed to be safe. It is not believed to cause miscarriage or birth defects.

    How successful is this??

    Believe it or not, for straight pregnancy, TBM is pretty effective. Many people have gotten pregnant this way, including Melissa Etheridge's girlfriend Julie Cypher, who used TBM to conceive a child from David Crosby (twice!)

    For gender swaying, since you are manipulating the pH of the semen, it can kill off sperm and make it more difficult to conceive. But, many people have used the method to get pregnant and some of them have gotten their DG. However, it is NOT a guarantee and it is not even certain if it is any better than swaying without TBM...if you really feel that you NEED a child of a particular gender, it is strongly suggested that you look into high-tech.

    Atomic, why are you down on TBM for gender swaying??

    A lot of people ARE doing TBM for gender swaying and if you really feel like it will work for you, go for it and I will help you however I can. But there are a couple of reasons why ~I personally~ don't think TBM is the way to go.

    For BOTH and If you only use TBM for your sway, you are relying totally on pH to sway. If pH really sways in the way some believe it does, that is GREAT and you will have a fab sway from TBM alone. But, if there is more to swaying than pH, or if pH doesn't work in the way some people believe, then you may actually be harming your sway. (in the thread below - page 2 - I explained a bit about how pH might sway differently than the traditional sway believes it does and I also have an essay on the subject here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ph-pickle.html)

    Also, even if you aren't only relying on TBM for swaying, TBM can seriously reduce your odds of pregnancy. The longer people go on without getting a BFP, the more likely it is that they will give up on things that have A LOT of science backing them up, primarily diet factors. And even if you are very very dedicated to diet and do it 100%, the longer you remain on a diet, the less "shocking" it is to your body and your natural body chemistry may start to overcome the effects of the diet. It may be that you end up trading something that is actually proven to work (the diet) for something that may not even sway (TBM).

    For blue swayers, TBM reduces the number of sperm on hand to make it to the egg. ANY manipulation of sperm is going to end up killing some of them off. Lower sperm count seems to sway pink for the most part, so TBM may be less effective than simply DTD naturally.

    For pink swayers, TBM is highly stressful and it is the detail-oriented, obsessive, success/failure kind of stress that raises testosterone and sways blue. I believe that this is the number one reason why pink sways fail - women get so "into" swaying and begin to see it as a challenge that they can "win" at and that mindset is PROVEN to raise testosterone.

    Plus, it will reduce your odds of pregnancy quite a bit and every month that passes without a BFP, is another month that you'll have to stay on that TTC girl diet without cheating!!

    How to do TBM

    Equipment needed: clean glass cup or sperm-safe condom available here: http://www.fertilityformen.com/produ...33KhBg#condoms and a syringe/eyedropper/medicine dispenser available at drugstores.

    For swaying pink you willl also need pH strips or digi tester and lime juice.

    For swaying blue you will also need pH strips/digi tester, egg whites from a real chicken egg, NOT Egg Beaters, a Diva or Instead Cup - the Instead Cup is best because it sits nearer to your cervix, and also Pre-Seed.

    First step for everyone - GET the sample! Have your sperm donor ejaculate either into a glass cup (don't use plastic or metal because they may have a harmful effect on sperm) OR you can also get a sample via intercourse, in a sperm-safe condom. You can buy sperm-safe condoms at the following link, but they are expensive and should be reserved for your attempt day. For practice, you can just use any non-spermicide, non-latex condom. http://www.fertilityformen.com/produ...33KhBg#condoms

    Blue swayers, you may even want to have him ejaculate directly into your Diva/Instead Cup, if he can. This is to minimize the number of sperm you lose moving the semen from a cup/condom into the DC/IC.

    For those who are only interested in conception, use a needle-less syringe, eyedropper, or children's medical dispenser (you can find these things at any drugstore) and suck up as much sperm as possible, inject the semen into your vagina, trying to get close to the cervix. Do this GENTLY so you do not damage any sperm. You may want to use a sperm-friendly lubricant like Pre-Seed first BUT EWCM is best, so you may want to time your insemination to coincide with your Peak Day of EWCM. You may wish to take Robitussin to increase CM. Prop your hips for 10 minutes afterwards and you may wish to have a female orgasm before, after, or both!! The more times you inseminate during your fertile period, the better your odds of pregnancy.

    For pink swayers, first, check the pH of the sample. Add lime juice (or you can also use the vinegar/calcium douche mix) that has been warmed to body temp by carrying it in your bra for 10-15 minutes, drop by drop (check pH after each drop has been added, and this is where practice comes in handy - if you try it a few times you will develop a "feel" for how much lime you'll need to add) until you get a pH of 4.5-5 (some other sites recommend 4 but I feel that this is TOO LOW and will greatly reduce your odds of pregnancy - use your own judgement but I would like to see you guys aiming for pH of 5 at the minimum, and for anyone whose husbands have sperm issues and/or who are doing a lot of other things to sway, I recommend pH of 6). You can kinda swirl the cup around a little bit.

    This mixture is referred to as "splime".

    Using a needle-less syringe, eyedropper, or medicine dispenser, insert your splime into your vagina. Do this GENTLY so not to damage sperm. Depending on how desperate you are to get pregnant, you may also choose to use an antihistamine (to reduce EWCM), a douche/lime tampon, spermicide, or one of the various jellies. You can either lay with your hips propped up for 15 minutes OR do a jump and dump. The more swaying techniques you add, the harder it will be to conceive (and remember, there are no guarantees even if you use everything.)

    In terms of timing, you may want to BD one time only, using either a cutoff or an O+12, along with abstinence or frequent release BUT these things will reduce odds of pregnancy even further. For best odds of pregnancy you should inseminate many times during your fertile period but this is NOT normally part of a pink sway.

    Alternatively, you can put your splime into a Diva or Instead cup and insert it. Leave it in for 90 minutes before taking it out and don't lie down during this time. This may increase your odds of pregnancy, but will also increase the numbers of sperm available to fertilize the egg (which may sway blue). The Diva Cup is better than the Instead Cup for TTC pink because it sits further from the cervix.

    Before DH gives you a sample, you'll need to check the pH of your egg white. You want a pH of 9-9.9. If it is 10 or above ( editorial comment - I fail to see how 9.9 can be a pH that ANY sperm love if pH of 10 suddenly kills them - consequently I would err on the side of pH that is lower, more like 9 - but use your own judgement) then add a bit of Pre-Seed to the egg white to lower the pH to 9-9.9 and mix them together well with a fork.

    Once you have the sample, put it into an Instead/Diva Cup. Add about as much egg white as you have semen, into the cup. If the egg white floats on top of the semen, that's great and insert the cup. If the two start to mix together, it's best to finish the job and mix them together right away, then insert the cup. Leave the cup in for 90 minutes and DON'T lay down during this time - you are trying to avoid mixing the semen and the egg white.

    If you like, you can douche with baking soda an hour before (but you don't have to.) You can also use Egg White if you have no EWCM but EWCM is vastly preferable - you may want to take Robitussin to ensure you have some (it's best not to use Pre-seed in this instance because there is a large difference in pH between the egg white and Pre-seed). Try to have a female O as many times before and after inserting the cup as you can (but remember not to lie down )

    For timing, you may want to DTD one time only either the day of ovulation or the day before. Try to maximize sperm count by having DH release every 3 or 4 days. He may want to increase his sperm's energy levels by drinking caffeine about an hour before your attempt.
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; January 25th, 2014 at 12:11 PM.
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  2. #2
    Dream Vet
    Out of the Blue's Avatar
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    YAY, Atomic! Big thanks!
    Jen + DH = & ... '08 & '10..........and hopefully 2012
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Suddenly surrounded by angels, we are honored and humbled to be the parents of our twins - 8wks and 16 wks (girl)
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    My Ovulation Chart for a R A I N B O W in 2012

  3. #3
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    WantingPink's Avatar
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    Thank you so much for putting this information together!!
    Love my (2006) (2009) (2013) (2014)





    THANK YOU GENDER DREAMING!!!!!

  4. #4
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    Great info! This should be a sticky!
    My awesome boys!
    (1988) (1991) (2010) (2012)

    TTC my last one. A little girl, please!

  5. #5
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    thank you!

  6. #6
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    Thanks, this takes some of the pressure off. I wasn't planning on doing TBM, but sometimes I read things and worry that I may regret not doing absolutely everything possible. This makes me feel a bit better about putting a limit on how far I'm willing to go.

  7. #7
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    Great read!
    Fathers Day baby!


    Busy Mummy of 5 now working from home: www.oz.scentsy.com.au

  8. #8
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    lightofmylife's Avatar
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    thanks !!!
    2007 2009 and TTC in 2012

  9. #9
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    atomic I have some questions

    The second group is people who want to manipulate the pH of semen for gender swaying purposes.
    I don't get this. Can you tell me how we manipulate semen pH with TBM? When you do TBM you add some EW on top of the semen and that's it . That is not manipulating semen pH to me.

    For swaying blue you will also need pH strips/digi tester, egg whites from a real chicken egg, NOT Egg Beaters, a Diva or Instead Cup, and also Pre-Seed.
    Just want to say you don't use diva cup for ttc boy with TBM! Only the IC. Diva cup is for ttc pink.

    For blue swayers, TBM reduces the number of sperm on hand to make it to the egg. ANY manipulation of sperm is going to end up killing some of them off. Lower sperm count seems to sway pink for the most part, so TBM may be less effective than simply DTD naturally.
    Why do you say TBM reduces the sperm count? You use the whole sample , all the sperm just put some EW on top and put the IC in right away. So it's not like with MSU where you separate the sample.
    When you just DTD and put some EW in before it's kinda the same fore me.

    Once you have the sample, put it into an Instead/Diva Cup. Add about as much egg white as you have semen, into the cup. If the egg white floats on top of the semen, that's great and insert the cup. If the two start to mix together, it's best to finish the job and mix them together right away, then insert the cup. Leave the cup in for 90 minutes and DON'T lay down during this time, the semen will spill out.
    I just want to say the idea for not to lay down because the semen spill out it's silly. You use a IC and it's made for AF so it don't spill out nothing, right? You can also use it after DTD to keep semen in .And you also use it after MSU and you can lay down with that so why not with TBM?
    Now I now that IG guru idea was that you don't lay down with TBM so you don't mix the semen and EW in the cup!
    BUT 1-if the sample already mix then no use for this , 2-I used the IC a lot before and I think there is no way it won't mix when you put that thing in! You have to squeeze it a small place and everything inside the cup will be squeezed too!
    (it's not like you put it in a big bowl and it stays the same shape , right?)
    So I would say if you totally sure your sample and the EW is not mixed and you will NOT mix it when you insert the IC then don't lay down. But otherwise you can lay down for sure!

    Anyway I just have this Q because I have to try next cycle and Im not sure if we do TBM and/or just DDT.
    +1

  10. #10
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Ok just let me say that I didn't ever do TBM for a boy or a girl. All the info that I used to write that essay was taken from several threads on several sites and compiled into one essay. So if I said something that didn't make sense, I'm sorry but that was what I read was the thing to do.

    1)Whenever you add egg white to semen, you are manipulating the pH because the pH of egg white is a lot higher than the pH of semen or CM. You're raising the pH of the sample overall. Whether the egg white is on top or bottom or mixed in there, the pH is different than what it would be otherwise. All I mean by "manipulating" is just, "doing something to change the pH of what you're putting in there."

    I also totally agree with you that there is no way that all the squeezing of the cup does not mix the egg whites into the sample at least a little bit.

    2)The info I had says either Diva cup or Instead cup for TTC blue. If you are telling me the Instead cup is better then I will change it but I am curious as to what the official difference is. The only thing I have seen is that the Instead cup sits a little bit nearer to the cervix but that it did not seem to matter for swaying blue because you shoudl have so much EWCM from supps anyway that it shouldn't be an issue if the sperm have to go a tiny bit farther or not. What am I missing there???

    3)I say TBM reduces sperm numbers because it WILL reduce sperm numbers. You're doing stuff to the sperm outside of the body and you're going to lose some along the way. Unless your DH is able to ejaculate right into that little cup??? Maybe some guys do, I don't know, but I do know that the official instructions tell DH to ejaculate into a cup or sperm safe condom and at least SOME of the sperm are going to get left behind. Plus I still think that just the act of putting it into the IC, putting the EW on top, and inserting the cup, is going to kill or lose sperm along the way.

    4)Again, for the laying down part, that was what I read. Sorry if that's silly, I didn't do TBM so I was just going off of what I read which was not to lie down for 90 minutes because the sperm would spill out. Sorry for TMI but I did use Instead cups when I had AF a couple times because I wanted to know more about them and I found they DID spill when I laid down so that made some sense to me. Maybe I didn't have them in right.

    5)Sort of a combo of 3 and 4 above but don't you find you spill a lot of sperm/EW or at least SOME when you insert the cup??? That alone seems to me that it will reduce sperm numbers, esp. since after you insert it, you're going to have the cup in the way blocking all the sperm that spilled out!! Might as well be wearing a diaphragm. And that is fine if pH really does sway in the ways that the traditional sway believes, but if numbers sway, then everything you lose might make the difference between XY and XX.

    Anyway thanks for asking, every question makes things clearer for everyone.
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