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  1. #1
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    Big Smile to O, or no? Orgasms and swaying

    Updated 12-13-17

    We have a fun poll type thread on this topic here - be sure to stop by and share your experiences! Sex question for girl moms...ignore if TMI bothers you!

    Is is ok to have the BIG O when swaying pink? And do you have to have 17 in succession or else your blue sway will fail? Let's find out.

    The WHY?

    The traditional view on female orgasms for swaying, is that for blue you should have a lot, as many as is humanly possible, esp. at the time of your attempt, because the natural lubricants that your body produces when aroused are alkaline and also because female orgasm raises testosterone and may even raise MALE testosterone and sperm count for your partner. And for pink, orgasms should be avoided like the plague so your testosterone, your partner’s testosterone, and his sperm count stay low, and also so you have little/no alkaline lubricant fluids to potentially help out either Y sperm or higher sperm numbers (depending on what theory of swaying you ascribe to).

    Nutshell version:

    Pink swayers – avoid orgasms both with attempt and as much as possible for as long as possible beforehand, they may raise your T, may raise your pH, may raise your partner’s T, may cause him to ejaculate higher numbers of sperm than he otherwise would, and may make it so more of those sperm survive to sway blue.

    Blue swayers – have regular orgasms, with intercourse is best because they will help increase your T and pH, your partner’s T, and his sperm count. Having at least one orgasm with an attempt may make it easier for more sperm to survive to make it to the egg.

    Hold the phone, there’s a heck of a lot of writing below this, what gives??

    Well, I went into this essay assuming this was going to be rather cut-and-dry statement the likes of which I just made above. But then I decided to look into it a bit further and it ended up being quite a lot more interesting than I thought it would be. As a result, altho I know I may be adding yet another layer of confusion to gender swaying, I feel obligated to share what I found out.

    Aside from the traditional view I mentioned above there are three additional theories about female orgasm that might affect swaying:

    The upsuck theory: This rather distastefully-named theory is an oldie left over from the age when people knew next to nothing about the female repro tract. Doctors often prescribed it in cases of infertility. The premise is that the cervix will dip into the semen and actually suck it up when a woman has an orgasm.

    This theory has been debunked by the famous researchers Masters and Johnson, by use of an intrepid volunteer and some fluorescent dye. The cervix DOES NOT suck semen in. You can still read this theory being reported as fact from many sources and even see computer-generated reenactments on the Discovery Channel but it doesn't seem to be true. In fact, an estimated 50% of women have tipped uteruses (uter-i??) that are pointing in all different directions and don't even contact the sperm pool, orgasm or not. Not to mention that some women never even have them, so female orgasm simply can't be a prerequisite to conception.

    That having been said, it does seem plausible that the cervix relaxes and opens after orgasm due to increased blood flow, the lubricating secretions that we have when we are aroused are somewhat alkaline in nature, and the movements that are required to achieve the Big O may help get the semen where it needs to be, so even if there's no sucking going on, female orgasm may still assist your getting pregnant.

    The vag is not like this big spacious cavern the size of Madison Square Garden with the cervix on one end and some tiny little “seminal pool” on the other sending longing looks one another’s way, totally separated unless you have an O to make the cervix bridge some huge gap to dip into the pool. It’s kinda tight quarters, things are shifting around as you move, and when a male ejaculates, semen’s a-flyin’ every which way and not just sitting there politely in a pool twiddling its thumbs waiting for the cervix to dip into it.

    Orgasm DOES seem to increase numbers of sperm that make it into the cervix as demonstrated by Baker and Bellis (see below) but it does NOT seem to have anything to do with sucking or dipping or pools.

    The poleax theory: This still rather distastefully-named theory is pretty much the idea that after you have an O, you get tired and stay laying down and typically go to sleep and that this equates to more sperm getting into your reproductive tract.

    Now, as any woman with children can tell you, that happens about .0001% and any time you can actually make it thru sex without getting interrupted by a child in search of a drink of water, it’s a cause for celebration. Plus, as many folks who were too busy to buy condoms have learned to their dismay, jump and dump is a completely unreliable form of conception. I promise that you can get up immediately after intercourse, do 500 jumping jacks, shower, douche, get a Brazilian Wax, cook a banquet for 27 people, and go run the Boston Marathon and still get pg.

    Aside from that, my husband and I have noted that while HE absolutely does get super sleepy after orgasm, I tend to wake up, get ravenously hungry, and immediately leap up to prepare a snack and watch an episode of Buffy or two. It can sometimes take me an hour or two to fall asleep after nookie. We even joke about the evolutionary basis whereby a woman seduces a man, then helps herself to his stash of food whilst he snoozes away and then makes an escape. It makes enough sense to me and has happened so consistently over the 20 + years of our marriage, I kinda think there is something to it.

    Could it ~possibly~ be helping with conception somehow - maybe, and I can see that it could ~possibly~ help with gender swaying a bit as well. A woman who is secure in a relationship and is living with her mate, might be more likely to remain laying down and fall asleep or at least watch Buffy with her partner after orgasm, while a woman who has to get up and leave afterwards for some reason like their partner “has to work in the morning” may be in a less than stable relationship may inadvertently be doing a J and D and swaying pink without even meaning to. (if you’ll recall, the data seems to indicate that women in longterm relationships seem to have more boys than women who are not in longterm relationships for reasons that we can only guess at).

    That having been said, I did just lay there and fall asleep the night I got DD so while it may aid in conception, if it sways it can't be swaying by too awfully much.

    The intercopulatory orgasm theory: Seriously, who is naming these theories??

    This is a bit of a spinoff of the upsuck theory but is a bit (LOT) more convoluted. Two researchers called Baker and Bellis did experiments that showed more sperm were present in the cervical crypts of women who had orgasms around about the time that their partners did. B and B then concluded that seemed to support the upsuck theory and the overall idea that properly timed female orgasms do help aid in conception.

    Baker and Bellis then went onto speculate that if a woman were to have an orgasm BEFORE their partner, that would mean that the cervix is “sucking up” the lower pH of the vaginal secretions and this could inhibit conception. They even went so far as to claim that female masturbation to orgasm in the hours/days/weeks leading up to conception would possibly even serve as a block to conception all together, sort of a prehistoric birth control device whereby the acidic vaginal secretions are repeatedly sucked up into the vagina and keep sperm from getting in there. They claimed that this creates a block to conception that lasts about a week.

    Conversely, if a woman orgasmed starting anywhere from 1 minute before, simultaneously, or after their partner, that would mean that the cervix is “sucking up” the higher pH of the semen and that this is helping more sperm to survive in the cervical crypts. Since sperm need an alkaline environment in order to function, a female orgasm in this time frame that “sucked up” alkaline semen, could aid in conception.

    This theory, if true, could be of some benefit to swayers. If this intercopulatory orgasm theory were in fact true, that would mean that pink swayers ought to have an O before their DH and also masturbate a lot leading into TTC (in order to “suck up” the acidic vaginal secretions that will help to kill sperm, and blue swayers should have one only after their DH - currently, we are having pink swayers NOT have an O at all and blue swayers usually are having one before and/or after)

    Gigantic Unignorable Problem 1 - Masters and Johnson have already disproved the upsuck theory. Whatever is happening, it’s NOT that the cervix is sucking up ANYTHING at all. The dye was not sucked up into the cervix upon female orgasm, and that’s a pretty definitive debunk right there. No dye = no upsuck. It has to be something else occurring that is causing these higher numbers of sperm in the cervix. Maybe it’s relaxation, maybe it’s lubrication, maybe it’s movement, but it AIN’T upsuck.

    Gigantic Unignorable Problem 2 - I can think of, oh, like 10 zillion reasons why more sperm might be present in the cervical crypts that have NOTHING to do with the actual physical act of orgasm itself. Starting with the notion that men might shoot more swimmers if their wife was excited than otherwise, and ending with the fact that women who are excited are making natural lubricants that may aid in sperm transport. To look at this data and immediately conclude that it HAS to be upsuck and then from that, draw the conclusion that female orgasm from masturbating alone without being in the magical presence of an ejaculating penis is somehow causing female infertility and “blocking sperm” is ludicrous and personally I find it a very sexist assumption dating back to Victorian views of female sexuality.

    Giant Unignorable Problem 3 – Most women tend to O before DH rather than afterwards and most women also feel more interested in sex in the days leading up to ovulation. It really strains reason that having a female orgasm at any point before 1 min. before your DH does, is going to render you infertile by blocking sperm for a week after that. If that was the case the whole human race would have died out a long, long time ago. No one would ever be able to get pregnant!

    Giant Unignorable Problem 4 - Most damning, Baker and Bellis seem to completely ignore a little phenomenon called fertile cervical mucus. You know the stuff, kinda looks like egg white, women start to make it 5-7 days before they even ovulate, it’s alkaline and ideal for sperm survival. It inhabits not only the cervical crypts themselves but with the help of gravity, infiltrates the entire vagina prior to and at the time of ovulation. And as every IG refugee armed with a box of pH strips will testify, can make your vaginal pH go from 3.5 to 7.5 in no time flat.

    Thanks to our good buddy EWCM, designed by God/Mother Nature for the express purpose of getting sperm to egg, there ain’t no earthly way that Intercopulatory Orgasm Theory is making the pH of your cervical crypts drop so low as to block sperm from getting in there.
    The cervical crypts themselves MAKE alkaline cervical mucus before and at ovulation.

    This theory cannot, cannot, cannot be true for the same reasons that putting a little bit of Acijel or baking soda in your VJ does not diffuse through your entire repro tract all the way up to the egg…because your body is designed to send that alkaline cervical mucus down and out while enabling sperm to swim up and in. The pH Pickle

    The HOW?

    So let’s talk real-life applications here. Obviously, as I am so often annoyingly saying, we have NO WAY to know what is the best sway and it probably varies for each couple anyway. Here are a few options regarding female O if the traditional way isn’t working for you.

    To recap, the traditional sway recommendations for female orgasm:

    Pink swayers – avoid orgasms both with attempt and as much as possible for as long as possible beforehand. They may raise your T, may raise your pH, may raise your partner’s T, may cause him to ejaculate higher numbers of sperm than he otherwise would, and may make it so more of those sperm survive to sway blue.

    Blue swayers – have regular orgasms, with intercourse is best because they will help increase your T and pH, your partner’s T, and his sperm count. Having at least one orgasm with an attempt may make it easier for more sperm to survive to make it to the egg.
    This is NO MAGIC BULLET – you can get boys without female orgasm and girls with female orgasm. There ARE no magic bullets.

    If the Poleax Theory makes sense to you:

    Pink swayers, do Jump and Dump either right away (if you’re doing several attempts) or after 5 minutes (if you’re doing one attempt). If you have the big O accidentally, you may want to do an immediate J and D without waiting 5 min, even if you’re only having one attempt. If you are not having orgasms and are getting BFN, try adding in an orgasm with your attempt, it may help increase odds of conception. If your DH is really struggling with FR + LR and you having an orgasm may help him complete the transaction, no worries, just do an immediate J and D afterwards.

    Blue swayers, have regular orgasms, have an orgasm with your attempt and lay flat for 15-30 min after your attempt. You may want to let your husband ejaculate inside you ALL the time and lay flat afterwards – exposure to the hormones in his semen may make you more blue friendly.

    If the Upsuck/Intercopulatory Orgasm Theory makes sense to you:

    Pink swayers, you could try masturbating to orgasm alone while using douche, RepHresh, Sylk, Acijel, or nothing, in the days leading up to your attempt. Also or instead, you could masturbate alone and orgasm BEFORE DH. IF there’s anything to the upsuck theory, maybe this will get low pH into the cervical crypts (but I doubt it)

    Blue swayers, according to this theory you should NOT go for several Big O’s on your own beforehand. Wait and have one right before, simultaneously, or after DH. Or, you could have them before but be sure you’ve got some Preseed in there ahead of time, to be sure there is something alkaline for the “upsuck” to suck up.

    If you haven’t been able to get pregnant:

    Pink swayers, you could try doing nothing at all any different but just adding in an O. People start panicking after 1 or 2 BFNs but you don’t need to drop everything, sometimes the tiniest changes can make all the difference in the world and an O at attempt may be a way to up odds of conception just a hair without changing anything else.

    Also pink swayers, if DH has been having trouble completing the transaction due to FR, LR, or both, you having an O may really help seal the deal. Especially if you haven’t been having them previously.

    Blue swayers, you don’t really need to do anything any different in this department but if, when you were doing your 3-5 attempts in your fertile window, you weren’t having the Big O with all of them, you may want to at least try it.
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; December 13th, 2017 at 06:06 PM.
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  3. #2
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    thehappypixi's Avatar
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    Great reading thanks!
    Especially liking the fact you are a fellow Buffy fan LOL!






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    Wait...people get to go to sleep after sex??? When? How?


    Great essay Atomic!!! And I got more out of it than the sleep thing honest.
    Thank you God and Our Lady
    - 2005 - 2007 - 2010 - 2012 - 2013 - 2016

    Due January 2021

    Dec '12, Feb '13, July '15

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    I had never heard of the up-suck theray but believe there is truth in it for some females. Will share any embarrassing story to explain why.

    I was about to put rephresh into my vagina when the tube fell out of my hand, whilst looking for it i realised i had stood on the tube and it had squirted out onto the floor. I was very annoyed, knowing the price of the damn things and thinking im about to try our bd attempt I did not want to waste the cream as it was my last application. I decided the best way to get the gel laying on the bathroom floor up I to my vagina was via a tampoon, so I covered the tampon with the rephresh and inserted it up inside. Prior to this I had done a check on my cervix and it was open awaiting ovulation. After i about 1/2 hr i started to relax thinking i had been very clever and i was still good to BD in the morning!! However, I started to feel cramping pains like I get after I organism, have coil inserted etc, then about 10 mins later I got this terrible burning sensation in my lower abdomen womb area, it felt like heart burn down below, it was extremely unpleasant. Realising what had happened I immediately removed the tampoon and the pain settled after a few hrs. At the time the conclusion I came to was the the tampon had swollen and hit the open cervix which had then contracted and allowed the acid up towards the womb. It did make me think that you could somehow use this to my advantage, however giving the pain it cause, not to metion risk of infection and potential damage the delicate womb lining it decided never to try it again!!

    I am not sure if this has been mentioned on IG site since they do lime tampoons etc, but maybe it was the constituency of the rephresh that allowed it to travel up the cervix, and I think cervix being open and soft ready for ovulation also helps.

    However all that said, with my DS1 and Ds2 I always had plenty of the O's before my DH had ejaculated and got pregnant first time. I certain will not use the up suck and plenty of O before my husband as a form of contraception, I would have the football team made in no time!!

  8. #5
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    It's kind of hard to really know where pain is coming from internally - when women have their Fallopain tubes rupture, they often feel pain in their shoulder. When your cervix is soft and open at ovulation, it is very easily injured (such as, when you check it) and I suspect that putting RepHresh in your VJ at that point was akin to putting alcohol on a cut - OWIE!!

    The upsuck theory involves orgasms - if you didn't have an orgasm, then the pain was caused by the RepHresh hitting sensitive tissues and doesn't really prove/disprove the upsuck theory. Thanks for sharing your experience!!
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  9. #6
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Quote Originally Posted by thehappypixi View Post
    Great reading thanks!
    Especially liking the fact you are a fellow Buffy fan LOL!
    Love Buffy!!! It's especially nice now that I have a DD and can actually watch it without getting raging GD LOL.
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    GREAT essay! Literally laughed out loud - and yeah, I can't remember the last time I slept after DTD. To be honest, I can't even remember the last time I DTD for recreational purposes, lol.
    Sept 2008 & successful boy sway June 2010.
    M/C Oct 2012

    Is DE in my future?

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    I love that you watch Buffy, atomic! I'm currently watching it for the second time, just started Season 5. It's part of my 'privileged daughter' sway approach.

    My Ovulation Chart
    currently TTC, Cycle #16 since last BFP

    TTC #1 - swaying pink on & off since Nov 2013 - hoping for a girl first but excited for either!

    Dec 2001 - May 2006 : 5 early abortions of healthy singletons (3 medical @5w, 2 surgical @8w, last 4 pregnancies conceived with late DH, all conceived while TTA/on birth control)
    Mar 2012: miscarried B/G twins @5w (conceived 2 cycles after removìng Paraguard copper IUD while NTNP), one twin was ovarian ectopic

    Me: 34, widowed, late O + short LP, normal-good hormone levels excepting undetectable testosterone, seeking a known sperm donor/life partner
    My sway: vegetarian LE for over 28w, skipping breakfast, fibre (ground psyllium husks) with/before/between meals, physically inactive, drama avoidance, ocassional minimal YesBaby lube as needed, alternate cycles on low dose Clomid, double shot lattes (with meals)
    Past sway tactics I've dropped (in order): Vitex, Sudafed, antihistamines, intermittent fasting, one attempt per cycle at positive OPK, one attempt in fertile period

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    What about orgasms after dtd? I don't mean a few hours after,but like 2 days after?
    8 12 2014 wishing and praying for a

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