Maternal Dominance Hypothesis and Priviledged Daughter Hypothesis

[WantinganAdkinsGirl]

After reading this, I closed all the tabs I had up about supps and T levels and how to get the "perfect" pink sway. I've always had an obsessive nature about me, and when faced with most situations I will over analyze or plan it out to death. I conceived my first son on my honeymoon, after months of obsessive planning for the wedding. I conceived my second son after moving into our house, after months of obsessing over bills, furniture, and packing. I can name event after event where I've obsessed to the littlest detail. Now I'm going to try to spend the next 3 months before TTC to relax and let life flow. If we get a "failed" pink sway, I still will have a boy, and I know how amazing boys are! If it's meant to be it will be :-) Thank you for posting this. It is exactly what I need to read to remind myself to let it be.

[weeziewoozles]

After reading this, I closed all the tabs I had up about supps and T levels and how to get the "perfect" pink sway. I've always had an obsessive nature about me, and when faced with most situations I will over analyze or plan it out to death. I conceived my first son on my honeymoon, after months of obsessive planning for the wedding. I conceived my second son after moving into our house, after months of obsessing over bills, furniture, and packing. I can name event after event where I've obsessed to the littlest detail. Now I'm going to try to spend the next 3 months before TTC to relax and let life flow. If we get a "failed" pink sway, I still will have a boy, and I know how amazing boys are! If it's meant to be it will be :-) Thank you for posting this. It is exactly what I need to read to remind myself to let it be.

I'd not thought about life events before! We conceived DS1 on honeymoon too, after I'd single handedly organised our wedding. Also the same as you, DS3 was conceived a few weeks after moving house! When we were TTC DS2, I can't think of any important stuff that was going on but I was trying to eat acidifying foods and tract ovulation in order to time our attempt (I'd not discovered this website at that time), so was probably obsessing. I'm definitely at the Martha end of the spectrum. My main difference is that I am not anxious at all! My DH does enough worrying for the both of us. Also, although I'm quite in control, I do lean on others for help (my mother and mother-in-law help with the kids a lot). My plan for this sway is to do all the planning and obsessing now, then trust myself to follow it all in a relaxed way when it's time to go!

[Rebecca Gabrielle]

Atomic, Its me again!!!! A member after reading my woes! Recommended I read your Maternal Dominance essay. Thank goodness I did!!!!! It was like reading my character c.v! I am everything on that essay!!! It is all soooo true!!! I have typed up a list that is stuck to my fridge ( I also proudly laminated it ) with all the girl sway rules, I also typed up a list and laminated one for my husband to take to work with him, I did run for an hour to the second, I did have the hot shower as suggested, I did joined FitnessPal so that I could track every tiny gram of protein, fat, sugar and carbs, I did spread the lavander throughout the house, wearing ion friendly jewellery and have worked out the dates of the new moon for may, I have bought all the suppliements I need and had my husbands suppliements sent to his office............I am a complete MARTHA!!!!!!!! How scary is that!!!!???? So I have reflected on this, and because of my over controlling tendencies I have decided to drop the exercise and go for no exercise and just the diet. I cannot control my controlling of the exercise....I will be obcessed for sure and will freak out if I dont manage to make a run!!! So best I think for me to drop it purely due to my personality. What you reckon Atomic? Good Plan? I need to CHILLAX!!!!!!!!!!!!! x

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, I would actually still recommend doing the exercise. We have gotten such fantastic results with the exercise and it may help with the Chillaxin'.

The good thing is that we are still early days here, so all that stuff has been done. What I'd like to see you do is NOT sit around worrying about how stressed you are and telling yourself in a panic, "OMG I gotta relax I gotta relax my sway will be RUINED!!" What I would like to see is that this is the end of the laminator, the lists, and all the rest of that stuff.

People read this essay and get panicked over things they CAN'T control (our basic Martha-esque personalities, which is who we are and we can't alter that) and then ignore the elephant in the room of what IS controllable - the detail-oriented, control-freak, label making, laminating, sitting around in a cold cold sweat worrying over "how stress might sway" when in reality EVERYONE has stress, boy mom and girl mom alike.

So short version - don't worry about that which is out of your control, just don't be laminating nothin'.

[motherofboys]

"
They spend a lot of mental energy thinking up every horrible thing that could ever go wrong and making plans on how to prevent these things from happening, or else making contingency plans in case they do.
To a boy mom, if something goes wrong, it’s because they themselves failed to control for every circumstance but that’s ok, because they will simply regroup and try harder and fix all the little things that went wrong the first time. "


This is me! Laying awake for hours at night worrying over things I can not control, plotting escape routes and such. I didn't think I needed control, but I didn't realise it was coming out in more of a paranoia than a need to control people. I stress so much about going out with babies and small children in case they cry and disturb other people and then those people think I'm a bad mother. I worry my boys will turn into delinquents or violent out of control men if they have one fight or say one horrible thing to each other. My kids are good kids, but then I'm sure plenty of horrible people were good kids. I worry I wont do a good enough job, and yeah, that I don't deserve a girl because I couldn't raise her right.
I make lists, I make lists for everything, and I even sit and write out all our incomings and outgoings each month, and if I spend something unexpected, I will sit and do it again. Right down to the pennies. I even stress about being late places. I drive myself crazy over things which could upset my boys and I might not be able to make them feel better over it.
Man I need to lighten up LOL

[bluebonnet22]

Has anyone taken the time to take Valerie Grant's test on her website?

Will I have a boy or girl? Can I choose the sex of my baby?

I find this stuff so fascinating! When I conceived DS I was in a high powered career and scored around (if memory serves) 80% of having a boy. This time (pre conception) I'm scoring around 55% girl. I'm obviously not foolish enough to think a test like this can predict my child's gender but I DO think staying home and being away from a high powered career has lowered my testosterone some and might at least help me sway girl a little bit.

[Marika]

Has anyone taken the time to take Valerie Grant's test on her website?

Will I have a boy or girl? Can I choose the sex of my baby?

I find this stuff so fascinating! When I conceived DS I was in a high powered career and scored around (if memory serves) 80% of having a boy. This time (pre conception) I'm scoring around 55% girl. I'm obviously not foolish enough to think a test like this can predict my child's gender but I DO think staying home and being away from a high powered career has lowered my testosterone some and might at least help me sway girl a little bit.

Wow, I just did that test. Had 25% girl and 75% boy

[motherofboys]

I did it and got 85% girl wish I hadn't now I know it's only a silly internet quiz but obsessive as I am (realising now that my ttc obsession with number 4 may have been my downfall but after 2.5 years I was temping and cervix checking and waking early to temp and charting every tiny symptom and opk-ing. I'm still waiting for my first af after ds4 so no way I can even start yet. Hopefully as we just stopped bfing I will get it soon.
Of course now I'm concerned that I won't know when I'm going to O and if I opk I might obsess again. Never ending lmao


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[bluebonnet22]

I really didn't post it to freak anyone out, it's obviously not meant to be accurate at all!

I do plan on taking this again after 2 months on LE to see if my results change. I'm really hoping to lower my t levels by strictly following the LE so I'm curious if lower t levels would change some things about my temperament and personality (and thus change my traits on quizzes like this).

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[motherofboys]

I probably shouldn't take these tests ha ha I'm trying to revise my sway plan to be as simple but effective as possible, just worrying I've the opk thing and frequency. The test is just for fun.


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