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  1. #11
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    girliedreamz's Avatar
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    Ohmigod, you have described me (mom of 3 boys) to a TEE! Even down to the fact that I was stressed out watching the entire FBDO movie, thinking about all the things that were going to go wrong. Just take the car back, Cameron!! Lol! Iíve been called a Ďcontrol freakí since I was three years old, and itís only in the last few years that Iíve started to be able to let things go another way than I want them to. But Iím still most comfortable and calm when Iím planning things down to the last detail. (You should see the trip Iím currently planning for my family to Disneyland. My family thinks Iím nuts. They canít understand why Iíd want to have the brand of milk we take with us for our re-planned breakfasts picked out ahead of time. Donít they understand that if we have the wrong brand it could lead to catastrophic vacation disasters??!!)

    I will say that with age Iíve made an effort to take the anxiety out of it for myself. I try not to get freaked out that I canít control things, I just know that I am more comfortable if I can. Like, Iíve learned ot let the house be dirty sometimes, bit look at a pile of dishes and let it sit there for awhile while I play cars with my sons instead. Itís hard Ė and totally against my nature! Ė but in the long run, I can feel it is better for my overall anxiety level. And with some practice, there are things that Iíve actually stopped caring about having ďmy way.Ē (A little. See milk reference above.)

    ďSo if youíre a Mary- or Martha-type please donít despair that your sway is doomed to failure, you can reprogram yourself to some extent and it will really help your sway.Ē

    I canít wait to hear about the ďre-programmingĒ part! Iíll be checking back all weekend for more on this essay.

    FABULOUS job, atomic! This is really interesting, well-researched stuff. Iím so impressed. (And was laughing throughout. Well researched and entertaining for the win!)
    2000 2009 2012
    mc July 2014
    mc Dec 2014

    Hoping for my girl to stay sticky!!

  2. #12
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    Makes you really wonder if older moms have more girls b/c they've mellowed with age, too...combined with the fact that their fertility is probably decreased.

    Geez...hoping that's how it all worked for me anyway!! I'll let y'all know in January!! lol
    Proud mom of 3 sweet boys...
    and one BEAUTIFUL little girl!
    (Thanks Atomic!)




    Guess my nub? LOL...

    http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ultr...guess-3-a.html

  3. #13
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    girliedreamz I just wanted to let you know, I have a friend going to Disney who has hired a UHaul to bring along her daughters' custom-made, color coordinated Disney wardrobes that she has been organizing for a year now. 3 girls, one boy!! You can do this!!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

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  5. #14
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BeadinMom View Post
    Makes you really wonder if older moms have more girls b/c they've mellowed with age, too...combined with the fact that their fertility is probably decreased.

    Geez...hoping that's how it all worked for me anyway!! I'll let y'all know in January!! lol
    I do totally think this. Life has a way of beating the Martha right out of ya and I would even go so far as to say raising boys can contribute to that!!! o.O
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

  6. #15
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    girliedreamz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    girliedreamz I just wanted to let you know, I have a friend going to Disney who has hired a UHaul to bring along her daughters' custom-made, color coordinated Disney wardrobes that she has been organizing for a year now. 3 girls, one boy!! You can do this!!
    ROFL! Okay, that so makes me feel better! (Both about being very Martha-esque and about my chances of having a girl!!)
    2000 2009 2012
    mc July 2014
    mc Dec 2014

    Hoping for my girl to stay sticky!!

  7. #16
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    Soar's Avatar
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    Brilliant! Great work as usual!
    (2009)
    (2011)
    Due January 2014 and swayed for a
    It's A GIRL!

    I can do all things in Christ, who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13

    Link to my girl sway:
    http://genderdreaming.com/forum/add-...y-attempt.html

  8. #17
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    Becca.lms's Avatar
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    Holy crap you do a lot of work!
    DS #1 - 2010 Liam James #2 - 2012 Ezra Keaton

  9. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    girliedreamz I just wanted to let you know, I have a friend going to Disney who has hired a UHaul to bring along her daughters' custom-made, color coordinated Disney wardrobes that she has been organizing for a year now. 3 girls, one boy!! You can do this!!
    I am thinking of at least 2 close friends who are like this, and both have girls (one is a GB mom, the other a GBG mom). The GBG mom recently took the cabinets off her kitchen walls, painted them, and put them back. She also MADE her own entry table with a jigsaw, raw materials, and her determination. She is such a planner, cleaner, organizer, and controller. Yet, 2 of her 3 are girls. Thing is, and I think this is a big key: she wasn't planning either of her daughters. She WAS planning her son.

    Thinking I need to have an oops baby! Atomic, may be coming to you down the road for some advice on a non-sway sway. One that doesn't allow me to get obsessed, because I'm really not trying. Hehe!!
    Mommy to 4 precious little boys, would love a , but more also welcome!

    (July 2007)

    (August 2009)

    (May 2012)

    (February 2014)

    Due January 2016
    It's a ! My little miracle from God!




  10. #19
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    rainbowflower's Avatar
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    lol maybe I need to dig out the CBT exercises again to make my anxious or repetitive brain learn to be quiet

    thank you for these, I've only had a chance to skim read these so far, but what you're writing seems to click as being correct in my head. At the same time, it makes me think that really much more is out of our control than we thought so in some ways maybe I'm already closer to girl-mum-thoughts than I thought

    BTW I think in this country and society girls are actually seen as the "preferred" gender, it's boys here who are portrayed more negatively on the whole

  11. #20
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    Amazing, as always Atomic! Thank you sooo much for this fab essay, it was just what I needed to read. I was cringing the wholeway through though as I am such a Martha! Especially at Christmas time when I upset my family by trying to do far too much, homemade presents/food etc. Ds3 will knock that right out of me this year being due just beforehand though!

    I know & accept that my need to control my future was the biggest reason why ds3 is coming to join us. Heck, it pains me to say that my desire to home-school even has an element of 'Martha-ism' about it too! I don't trust the system in the UK to do a good enough job.....

    I truly believed that if I worked at swaying hard enough IT WOULD WORK - despite your warnings of the kitchen sink sway Atomic. I approached it all the wrong way, more like preparing for an exam rather than a roll of the dice.

    I can't wait to read the rest of this essay on how to become more Mary-like. I think I needed ds3 to wake me up to the fact that I can't control everything - and to learn that that's no bad thing. Beadin, I agree age & experience most probably does have something to do with it too

    Thank you again Atomic

    Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 2
    2007 2009 2013 (My VBA2C & sway opposite baby)

    So proud to announce that after many long years of GD our precious DAUGHTER joined us in June 2016!!


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