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  1. #251
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    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    had another good thread on this subject here https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...ml#post1001982
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  2. #252
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    I did not read along all the 26 pages but I don't feel thats true at all, at least for me.
    Maybe I am an exception. I am one of those "lucky ones" who sails gracefully through life... I am the last one of 4 children, I never had to compete because I was given everything. Schoolwise I always learnt very simply and quickly and with no big effort. I concluded my studies at university. I am graceful by nature and never had to compete with other women ever. Never felt I had to.
    I am not at all a control freak, I am much more laid back, and I have a sort of resignation that in any case life will take over, so no need to freak out.
    My sister is just the OPPOSITE. She IS a control freak, really, she strives to be perfect, and to be the first one, being her the first child she always had to demonstrate she was able to do everything. She was always charged with loads of responsibilities. She always trained herself and made huge efforts to achieve her idea of good shape. She has an iron discipline. But above all... the control thing is her main personality trait.
    I have 2 boys. She has an only child, a girl.
    All the girls mamas I know: many of them are control freaks, suffer from anxiety and absolutely are not those people who gracefully sail through life... according to this theory I should have like 10 girls...!! LOL
    Anyway... I hope you dont mind me posting, I just felt in total disagreement with this theory.
    Xx
    Last edited by ForeverRestless; November 23rd, 2018 at 04:50 AM.

  3. #253
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    It is not JUST or even mostly personality, though. If it was, I wouldn't bother recommending diet and exercise and number of attempts and Clomid/Femara, etc. If it was, then the things our husband did wouldn't matter and some of them do seem to make a difference. Other things matter aside from personality but personality stuff can still matter. You can always find people who don't seem to fit into these categories but that's because other things are more important. It doesn't mean that this idea isn't true to some extent.

    And I also think you've misread part of the essay. I did not ever say that being a laid back person who glides through life was the only way (or even the best way) to get a girl. In fact we know that being stressed out and not in control of one's life actually can sway pink. There are many women who feel very upset/nervous/worried about various elements in their life who have all girls. Stress that is out of one's control sways pink and girl moms are not emotionless robots who don't have reactions and responses to the world around them. But I have talked to I'm sure into the 10's of thousands of people by now and I PROMISE you guys, there is a difference. There is a difference between the average girl mom and the average boy mom and I know this not only from talking to so many people, but because I experienced the personality shift firsthand when I was swaying for my daughter. It is really really hard to "see" it when you're in it yourself but it's for reals.

    To be quite honest with you (for the success of your sway) your posts I've recently answered have been complete and total boy mom to me. That's ok, because we can sway via diet, exercise, number of attempts, and other things.

    Because really, none of this matters. It doesn't matter if you agree with this theory or my explanation of it. Set all that aside and focus on what I'm trying to get you to take away from this. Do not treat swaying as if it's a game you can win or a daughter is something you can earn from swaying hard enough and checking off enough stuff off the to-do list. Because you are actually setting yourself up for a failed sway by doing all the pH testing and temping and charting and planning and scheduling. So just don't do those things, treat swaying as a lifestyle and not an all consuming project, and that is all you need to do.
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  4. #254
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    ...so I assume that everyone who searches for info and try to understand something in this wild sea of information (sometimes contraddicting one another) is a boy mom! ��*♀️
    But thank you for the precious adivse to not treat sway as a win/lose game (even if for someone who has GD, it really is). So true...
    Anyway Atomic, yes I probably misread, as written I did not go through the whole 26 pages of discussion and also English is not my maternal language... I got probably just some info and missed other important points.
    I know it's not important what I agree or disagree with, or if what you research and write is true or not, it probably just pushed my buttons �� no big deal
    Last edited by ForeverRestless; November 24th, 2018 at 05:09 AM.

  5. #255
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    Hey, I'm not here to argue. Really not.

    Everyone investigates swaying. There is a difference between the level of attention to detail that comes from the boy moms and that which comes from the girl moms.

    Believe, don't believe. Your choice.

    I'm trying to help people have successful sways. That is my sole motivation. And if I were to ignore this stuff and sit by while people then go down the rabbit hole of scheduling and planning and plotting and scheming and rearranging their life to do every sway tactic under the sun, when I 110% believe that undermines their sways...well, that would be a pretty jerkish thing for me to do. So I try to convince you guys about the personality stuff because it's my job to do that, because I really want your sways to succeed and if I sent you out there unwarned about this stuff, I would be setting people up to fail.
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  6. #256
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    Hey! Me neither! Mine was just an observation but finally I had time to read the entire essay and it really makes a lot of sense!
    I just got triggered by this hypothesis bcs it seemed not very true for me but I was missing the most important part of the essay! LOL
    Like... read everything b4 comment :-)
    I so agree with the way to approach sway and the more I go into details... the more I am convinced that I will pick just few things and leave the rest it to the fate (or God). There's just too much to control...
    Hugs!

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  8. #257
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    Hi atomic! I’ve been reading through all the comments, and I was wondering whether you thought the following was a positive for swaying pink or not. I have 3 boys. I haven’t started a sway yet but after reading through all this I thought I’d ask. For a while now I’ve been feeling very fulfilled with the boys, everything is great but when they get all boisterous and loud I just cave and get my husband to deal with them, like he’s better at dealing with them when they are being a pain, not out of laziness it’s like I don’t have it in me to have it out with them so to speak, and maybe they listen to their dad more than me.

    Also another thing is when it comes to comments from people like would we try again for a girl, I get really offended/upset inside, like it must look like what I have isn’t good enough, I feel like I’m not good enough because I ‘just’ have boys. I feel down when I can’t join in the girly conversations with friends of mine that have Girls, about hairstyles etc, it just all makes me feel kinda useless, even though I get a great deal of fulfilment from my kiddos. When I had my third boy a relative once told me ‘some people just can’t have girls. But I was hoping to buy Pink this time’ ...it hurt, I thought it was rude and I felt so useless. Like I didn’t provide a girl for the family, what I have isn’t good enough and there’s something not good enough about me that’s why I didn’t have a girl. Sometimes out of nowhere a comment will make me dwell over this for days. Is this the type of thing you tend to find girl mums feel?

    Also in terms of at home tasks, as I have my hands full with the kids school schedules and playing with them when they are home I am mostly very busy, so I get all worried when extra jobs come up, when any home admin comes up I feel like I can’t take another task so I now usually get my husband to deal with things (which he is happy to do, it’s just normally I’d have taken care of everything). My husband wants to move home next year and my immediate reaction was ‘oh the stress, no I can’t do it!’ So he said he’d take it the project so to speak, wed chose somewhere together but he’d deal with all the rest. We’ve moved twice before and I dealt with it all and it was quite a stress, but I’d take it on and I’d deal with it. Now I just feel like I will take things on if I have to but it would really stress me out and make me emotional because a lot of my energy is spent on the kids - which is fine, as I love them. Anyway, sorry this is such a long message, just thought I’d explain and ask everything in one go, as the more I read through the thread the more I realised things are different for me these days and is this the type of change that will help sway? Xxx

    Swaying for a soon!

  9. #258
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    I can't tell anyone if they're more girl friendly or boy friendly personalitywise. On the one hand yes some of what you describe was very much true for me between my 4th boy and my girl...I started turning over responsibility to other people and I just felt very very overwhelmed and then I got my girl. If you feel like you're handling things differently then you probably are. But writing me a message to check to see if you're girl friendly is more of a boy friendly thing to do, if that makes any sense - it's a bit of that control freakishness I'm talking about. (but not a dealbreaker! I mention it so you understand what I'm talking about here.)
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  11. #259
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    Yes I do get what you are saying lol. Thank you xx

    Swaying for a soon!

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  13. #260
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    I feel I need to point out that sometimes as I get to "know" people on here, and I read back these old threads now that I "know" them more fully, I have to laugh. Because I can emphatically, unequivocally, without question, completely and totally identify them as "boy moms" even though they think that they are not and argue about how none of this stuff applies to them at all.

    Um, yes, actually, yes it does. You know I love you, girls, but yes, it really, really does.

    Again, I bring this personality stuff up, not because I like being a big fat meanie pants making people feel bad about themselves for things they can't change about themselves, but because I want your sways to work.

    There is a type of person who tends to have more boys, and they are highly detail oriented and try to control things down to a very specific level (such as, just to give a completely random example that absolutely did not happen, the amount of grams of sugar in a pumpkin on the alternate LE Diet). Then there are people who tend to have more girls who will ask me things like "why aren't you helping me more" or try to find any way they can come up with not to do my recommendations because they just think it's going to magically work out and they don't need to worry about it).

    Is it universal? No. Is it always predictable? No, and I just had a blue sway produce an opposite that I would have sworn was going to work out based on personality. If it was predictable I would not take people's money for swaying, that's for sure because I'd just know going in it wasn't going to work. But it IS real, and so that is why I tell you guys about it, even though it would be wayyyy easier if I just kept that info to myself. It's because I want your sways to work, and if I didn't mention these things I would be undermining u with my silence on something that really CAN make or break a sway!
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