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  1. #1
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    Feeling a bit low...BFN

    Feeling a bit low...tested today (11dpo albeit with very diluted urine) and got a BFN. Not even a hint of a line so assume this means we're out this month *sob*. I had so many symptoms I was certain it would be a BFP.

    We started TTC in Aug - fell pregnant 1st time but then had a chemical, then tried in Oct (BFN), then got a BFP in Nov which again ended in chemical. I suspected long abstain was the reason for chemicals but I can't be sure of that. I'll probably schedule to get bloods done once AF arrives to see if my hormones are a bit wibbly.

    We tried everything - FR, folate, 2 attempts (o-3 and o-1...OV was late this month otherwise I would have stuck at 1 attempt) and its not worked . I know it can take a while to get a BFP but it feels like time is already ticking as i'm 37.

    I'm not even sure why i'm posting, i'm probably looking for a bit of a hand hold from other posters (and Atomic!) whilst we try again next month. I don't have anyone to talk to about this as nobody knows we are TTC (other than DH, who is lovely but is so chilled he's almost laid back)

  2. #2
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    Hiya, so sorry to hear this! I really know what youíre going through - I had loss after loss last year and have been thwarted by illness and late ovulations these last couple of cycles so no positive tests for me either! Itís ok to allow yourself to be sad and cry and hate the world for a bit. But thenÖ dust yourself off, think about everything thatís good in your life and try again next month. It will happen for us

    Is this your first time ttc? I think my hormones are a bit off too and I did very recently have a polyp removed which *hopefully* will help things along. Plus blood tests etc!

    Sending hugs x

  3. #3
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    The symptoms can be devastating - I have had some months where there was literally no way I could have been pregnant and I had massive symptoms (more than I had in months I was actually pregnant!) Even things like nausea I have had during the 2WW when I was not pregnant and couldn't possibly have been. The only thing for me that has ever been a sure tell is sore BB's but at the same time, others have reported that in months they weren't pregnant so maybe that is just a "me thing" LOL.

    I would drop FR. It really does cut odds of conception by quite a lot. And O-3 is pretty low chances of conception so maybe it just didn't happen this month. It's up to you if you choose to seek further investigation at this point but don't be surprised if they don't have much in the way of answers - they're really just not good at uraveling things like this unfortunately.

    I do want to assure you, though, that 37 is NOT particularly old. I know the media and overzealous medical researchers like to scare people but the "stats" they quote came from the 1600's and do not reflect what a normal, healthy, modern person can expect. For whatever reason medical researchers have not been too awfully fussed with updating that info, instead just quoting it again and again (and most modern data is just as bad because it comes from IVF clinics and involves women who were having fertility challenges). We have really good results with conception even up thru age 41.
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  5. #4
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    Just to say I totally understand the feeling, rational or not, of the ticking clock. Wishing you lots of luck! And to say thx Atomic for reiterating that the data re age is outdated, I feel better every time I hear that

  6. #5
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    @ruby_blue thank you for your kind words and support. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time with all this too I am incredibly fortunate to have a gorgeous DD (2) who followed after a MMC at 10.5 weeks detected at the scan.

    @atomic thank you for your reassurance - I always feel better after speaking to you! I know, I totally fudged my dates this month as I had 6 highs and expected my peak to come on the 5th day but came a day later than I expected. I seem to fall on o-2 the best so I aiming for that. I know, and you're absolutely right about age - I always feel weirdly reassured seeing celebrities falling pregnant around my age or older. I need to remember this when I get all panicky about my age!

    Yesterday, I spent the day (when I should have been working) wallowing in my own self pity and decided to test one last time this morning with FMU. Low and behold - a faint (but noticeable) line. I suspect this will be another chemical and it seems identical to the line I got with my 1st chemical. I am not sure how I feel, but i'm not excited at all. I called the clinic this morning and explained and they've given me Cyclogest to boost my progesterone levels. Whats your thoughts, Atomic? I'll send the pic of the test to you now via email as i'm not sure I can upload.

    @pinksabra101 you're so right! I think that makes it harder as I keep thinking if my age is playing a massive part in all this. Ive never had a chemical pre DD (I did have a MMC though so maybe its all related?) so it really makes me wonder if something else is at play here.

  7. #6
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    We are being plagued by these very faint "positives" that just never develop. Darker than a ghost line but not as dark as a faint positive should be. Some people are getting them for weeks, during times when they cannot possibly even be pregnant. It's almost as if they changed something about the manufacturing process (possibly due to coronavirus, since that's about the time it started) and that is causing these lines to appear. They aren't positives really and I don't count them as chemicals because like I said, people are getting them even when it's not possible for them to even be pregnant.

    I agree that this test is likely not going to darken if you are truly 12 DPO. (Is there any way you could have ovulated later than you thought??) it's just that we can't know if it's really a positive or if it's one of these false positives, so I am not sure this is a chemical or simply one of these bum tests that have these lines on them.

    Either way, I'm sorry, I don't think that if you're 12 DPO that this would indicate we're going to be successful this month.
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  8. #7
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    @atomic According to FF, I should be 12dpo now (I had a CB peak on 16th Jan) so I guess at latest I could be 11dpo? Which still is a very light test. I usually have a 14 day LP. I'll give one more test a try tomorrow morning and if still uneventful, I just sack off this month and wait for AF.

    Just out of interest, and lets say this was in-fact a chemical, would you have any insight that could cause 3 in a row?

  9. #8
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    Did you test this morning yet?

    I was more thinking that maybe you didn't ovulate then, and ovulated a few days or even a week later, after you'd stopped testing, and had had unprotected sex at that time. One day would not make much of a difference really.

    There are a couple things that can cause repeat chemicals - you'd want to have some basic testing done for clotting disorders, autoimmune stuff, and thyroid, for a start. Egg quality can cause chemicals but in that case you'd just need to wait for "Goldie the Golden Egg" to show up - even if you have some lower quality eggs, there will still be some good ones in the mix and you just need to wait for the right egg in that case.
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  10. #9
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    Just wanted to provide an update: the tests did in fact get progressively darker, I was getting a teeny bit optimistic that maybe this.is.it but nope, the test today is much lighter so looks like another CP. Very very sad face - 3 in a row now

  11. #10
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    Oh gosh I'm so very sorry to hear that - I'd definitely pursue the testing in case there is something going on that could be easily fixed thru medication.
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