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  1. #31
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    And had a convo with DH yesterday for IVF/GS - he says that he's given it some thought, and he can't get over his reservations around ethics, the possible effects on a child (the "unknowns" from a scientific perspective)...even to avoid having me abort a girl should we try naturally.
    He knows that if we have a 5th, it could well be a girl again...and knows that I feel my only option as much as I abhor it, would be to terminate.
    Even telling him that PGD allows to "weed" out (hate that term but for lack of better..) the unhealthy embryos - no, it doesn't guarantee a 100% healthy child as they cannot test for everything but conversely, when you ttc naturally, you test for nothing eh?!
    I feel like he is not understanding the depth of my despair (or willing to ignore it, for me to "suck it up") and how much either foregoing a son (no more babies) or risking another daughter (TTC and come what may - while I could consider it, I know what I would have to do if it didn't go my way and am sick to the stomach at the thought) would be detrimental to my mental health... I can't force another child on him, I cannot force him to do IVF (it's not like I want a son from someone else, I want HIS son)...feel completely trapped and am so worried where this will take me mentally.
    Lucky Mummy to 4 adorable princesses
    (07/2013) (09/2015) (03/2018) (03/2021)
    (07/2014)
    Our sway didnít work for #3 & we had a little oops for #4 but we love them all to bits... not sure if we ever will but somehow hoping we might add blue to the crew, to complete our family, one day...

    Fingers crossed for TTC #5 in July/August 2023!

  2. #32
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    I'm sorry, I know it's so hard and none of us expect to feel the way we do.

    Just take it a day at a time and see how you feel. A lot of people have actually felt that baby fever kind of abate after several months have passed, and they have more clarity about what their next step should be. Once that desperation lifts, other paths may become open that didn't feel like they were open at first.
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  3. #33
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    Thanks Atomic!

    I've just decided to let it go for a while and indeed see how I feel - it's not like we would have tried for another right this instant but conversely, know that my chances with IVF would be better now/soonish vs later.
    I will probably broach it again in a few weeks and try to propose IVF and see what the cycle yields and if we do have some XYs, consider implanting later at a time that works for us.
    I honestly don't really have baby fever atm anyways as I still have a baby at home, as much as she grows every day (16 m.o now!) and I know that I wouldn't want a 5th if it's not going to be a boy.

    Newborns, TTC, pregnancy don't seem that appealing right this moment as I'm in the depth of my anyhow as got really sick and my first PP period decided it would be great timing to show up after a completely sleepless night with high fever..blah LOL
    Lucky Mummy to 4 adorable princesses
    (07/2013) (09/2015) (03/2018) (03/2021)
    (07/2014)
    Our sway didnít work for #3 & we had a little oops for #4 but we love them all to bits... not sure if we ever will but somehow hoping we might add blue to the crew, to complete our family, one day...

    Fingers crossed for TTC #5 in July/August 2023!

  4. Likes atomic sagebrush liked this post
  5. #34
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    Big hugs to you! Best of luck to what you decide when you are ready
    2001 Girl ~ 2003 Boy ~ 2012 Girl ~ 2021 Sway Boy got Boy ~ 2022 Sway Girl- Lost little Girl ~ 2023 trying for one more healthy baby girl

  6. #35
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    Thanks Treens !
    Lucky Mummy to 4 adorable princesses
    (07/2013) (09/2015) (03/2018) (03/2021)
    (07/2014)
    Our sway didnít work for #3 & we had a little oops for #4 but we love them all to bits... not sure if we ever will but somehow hoping we might add blue to the crew, to complete our family, one day...

    Fingers crossed for TTC #5 in July/August 2023!

  7. Likes atomic sagebrush liked this post
  8. #36
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Ok, keep me posted!! Baby fever is so weird how it comes and goes like that!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  9. #37
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    It is! I think that the prospect of doing IVF and that guarantee of a boy if we had some XY embies was what driving the "baby fever"...without that option, I need to seriously think then talk again to DH
    In the meantime, even with no TTC, as soon as I kick this illness (getting antibiotics today - boy am I happy about getting them I tell ya) I will continue my plan of long term HE prep- because in the end, it will be good for me anyhow, regardless of where we land baby #5-wise
    Lucky Mummy to 4 adorable princesses
    (07/2013) (09/2015) (03/2018) (03/2021)
    (07/2014)
    Our sway didnít work for #3 & we had a little oops for #4 but we love them all to bits... not sure if we ever will but somehow hoping we might add blue to the crew, to complete our family, one day...

    Fingers crossed for TTC #5 in July/August 2023!

  10. Likes atomic sagebrush liked this post
  11. #38
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    Also, possibly stupid question, and may possibly have asked this question previously but forgive my feverish brain if I have:
    DH lost most of his hair at 18 (as did most of men in his family, early on at least & on both sides...if we do have a son, pray he gets good hair genes lol)..he tells me it's high testosterone, but is it really?
    And if it is/could be, is it possibly a problem? I know that we want higher testosterone for blue but how much is too much (and that is obviously the $1,000,000 question especially without being able to measure it, I know).
    Just something else I feel we need to address with him :P
    Lucky Mummy to 4 adorable princesses
    (07/2013) (09/2015) (03/2018) (03/2021)
    (07/2014)
    Our sway didnít work for #3 & we had a little oops for #4 but we love them all to bits... not sure if we ever will but somehow hoping we might add blue to the crew, to complete our family, one day...

    Fingers crossed for TTC #5 in July/August 2023!

  12. #39
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    The guarantee is a siren song, but you have to keep in mind that it's only a guarantee if it WORKS, and many people never get to that point. Since they have sad stories and a lot of pain, they generally will disappear from these sites and you never hear their backstories, but many people get no eggs, many more get nothing to transfer, many others transfer but lose babies, and every go round is a huge expense even if we don't come out of it with a baby. So take the "guarantee" with a grain of salt, because there is a lot of space between an IVF cycle and a guarantee!
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  13. #40
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    High testosterone in men has never been proven to sway, and even in women it's based on fairly sketchy data. We do seem to see a lot of balding celebrity men with girls (hello, Bruce Willis!) but think of it this way...if this was insurmountable, your husband and those men in his family literally wouldn't exist because how would their genes have been passed down?? If it was all girls, all the time, then...there wouldn't be bald men at all to begin with, since all bald men would have exclusively daughters and apparently those "bald headed men" genes would be inextricably linked to making girls.

    Plus, we have a lot of couples who are swaying PINK and have their husbands go onto the baldness medication to get girls (and succeeding with that!) so I honestly don't think it can boil down to testosterone alone.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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