getting in shape for 2023 sway after 4 girls

[LMSM]

Hi again,

I’m back (again,… again) :P
I probably sound like a broken record now, so sorry in advance! Here to get myself ready for a last try at getting our (elusive) son after now 4 daughters.

My first two daughters were conceived after a long time TTC, with the help of Clomid (and other things). No sway as such.
#3 was a HE sway – obviously didn’t work…and #4 was an unplanned bub so no sway though in practice, I had started gearing up to sway a few months later (still didn’t work though).
I never thought I’d be looking at having 5 kids – but the yearning for a son is just too strong! So I want to get myself in the best possible place to have that final babe – though I don’t think we could realistically TTC until mid to late 2023.
I am still considering GS IVF options but my husband will be really difficult to get on board; when we found out # 4 was another girl, he did voice he would have agreed to it with #3 (now you tell me!!! Grrr) had he known how deeply it affected me (I was crying non-stop for days and was adamant the only solution was abortion). Of course, and though now I have her here & I absolutely adore her (she is a ray of sunshine that girl!) I do know I could not go through that again (#3 was hard but knew there’d be a #4 – by #4, and a surprise pregnancy at that – I was in a BAD place mentally).
He truly doesn’t (never has) cared about gender as long as our babies were healthy – yes, there is a lot of girl drama in our house (and they’ve not hit teen years yet – yikes) and it frustrates him (probably me even more ha - how I ended up being a girl mum eludes me still to this day) …but I honestly don’t think he feels like we “need” a boy (but I do, oh I definitely do, to my core).
So I want to ensure I do ALL I can to sway my body into boy territory, whether we end up conceiving via IVF or naturally!
That being said, if I could, I would love to do IVF, and do PGD/GS testing & freeze my boy embryos for later transfer (just changing jobs so I cannot be pregnant for at least a year) but given my age (over 37 now), I feel like I’d have better outcomes if I did a retrieval sooner rather than later even if we only did the transfer 12+m from now.
Overall…
I think I need sleep, I need muscle, I need nutrients LOL

Right now, DD4 is 14 m.o, still nursing especially at night (she has been teething like crazy for 6 months, popping 2-4 teeth at a time (1st canine is coming so the 3 others are likely to follow – which means she’d only have the 2y.o molars left to go – and hopefully = break in teething for a little while, YAY!) and bedshares because it is just so much easier for me) – so no period back for me either.
I have had gaps getting longer and longer between babies (26months then 30 then 36) and still got girls even though I gave my body more time to recover, to have more cycles (& allow them to regulate as much as possible).
I feel like nursing (or at least pumping so she can keep the benefits while maybe being less glued to me and so I maybe can get more sleep and be better rested) so my cycles are delayed a bit longer, so I can TTC not long after ending all nursing/pumping and return of cycles may help??
I tend to get really antsy and massive nursing aversions come 17ish months – which is when my last two girls were weaned off completely – so hoping doing less direct feeds and some pumped milk partially at least at night would help while delaying those cycles a bit longer (and in the meantime, allowing me to get in shape, less tired, etc etc).
The logic between trying for a shorter time between return of cycles (but getting cycles back later & giving baby more time nursing directly or not) and TTC is that it seems lots of boy mums because they are so fertile do tend to conceive boys soon after their PP cycles return. I’ve always had 6m+ post 1st PP period and TTC/ pregnancy (bar my miscarriage between DD1/2 where I got pregnant on my second cycle PP and I am sure it was a boy).
This is the longest I have ever gone PP with still no period!

Anyhoo - ramblings of an extremely sleep deprived mama reaching out to hear from fellow blue swayers possibly in the same or similar boat or boy mumas ( or girl mums that got boys after too) wanting to share their tried and tested blue tips! Will be grateful for any blue dust and advice

[polaris.kai]

I was wondering if you'd be back I followed your last pregnancy in the due date months!

No advice as I'm a girl producer as well. Swaying for baby 4 right now. It sounds like we have similar situations with all girls and husband's that don't care either way

Sounds like you're doing everything right and you waiting longer to try again is great

[9jamama01]

"Girl Producer" Polaris that has to be the funniest thing I've heard all day. I'm sure Atomic has disproved that already, we all can have either gender.

Good luck LMSM and Polaris with your sway. I've been Swaying blue for about a year now but no bfp yet. I'm on a break at the moment and I'll resume my attempts in June.

Best of luck ladies.

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[polaris.kai]

"Girl Producer" Polaris that has to be the funniest thing I've heard all day. I'm sure Atomic has disproved that already, we all can have either gender.

Good luck LMSM and Polaris with your sway. I've been Swaying blue for about a year now but no bfp yet. I'm on a break at the moment and I'll resume my attempts in June.

Best of luck ladies.

Sent from my SM-A225F using Tapatalk

She has she's been very kind by sharing articles and words of encouragement when I start to despair.

[Thefinalcountdown]

Hi! Same boat no ppp yet here either. My 3rd is only 9 almost 10 months old, tho. How’s your diet look??? Supplements? Doing weights? I started he stuff when she was 5 months old and gained muscle (and a bit of fat) and now feel I’m all ready for nothing! No cycle yet. But it’s for the best since AS recommends 12-18 months is better for blue. Probably better to start some of the basics of HE - supplements/ weights/ breakfast as it may help your cycle return faster. I saw an article where it’s the overall time spent with the milk being expressed in a 24hr period that has the anovulatory effect.

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[atomic sagebrush]

Yay, I finally got it fixed for you!!!

I agree 100% - time is of the essence here with retrieval. Get it done as soon as possible, even if you decide to sway anyway.

I think that unless you're planning to go ahead with IVF (in which case you'd need to wean) then by all means you can continue nursing as long as you want. Your cycle will come back at some point though even with nursing so be sure you're taking precautions if you aren't ready to TTC.

I think just take it a day at a time. Do the doable in terms of eating better, exercising a bit more without overdoing, take your vitamins, try to stay well rested, that sort of thing.

What's hubby got going on? Any room for improvement there?

[LMSM]

Atomic – thanks - yay you tech guru, you!! :P

Sorry for the late response everyone, I am just about to leave my current job so tying up loose ends and just super busy ^^

Polaris – well hello , again – my fellow girl producer haha and yay for your current sway – may it be successful and soon ^^

9jamama01 – I know that in principle we can all produce both genders, but the odds of having 4 girls is the rarest of all the combos possible with 4 kids LOL I’m sorry you’ve been waiting for your BFP for so long – did you have any issues conceiving previously?

TheFinalCountdown – oh yes your baby girl is still tiny! It’s frustating though when you actually DO want the PP cycles to start gah hope they come soon so you can TTC /sway properly Re your questions, see below long essay haha

To respond, Atomic – (sorry, you know my propensity to essays by now :P ) :

**For me – status update: due to recurrent migraines, my Dr had me do a full blood panel – which shows that I have very low ferritin so he has me started on iron tabs – we’ll reassess again in a months’ time (thyroid, magnesium etc etc all good and in normal range). So am taking that along with probiotics at this stage – will soon reintroduce a multi (my B12 was bordeline low as well). I’ve lost most of my baby weight now (finally!) but still at the heaviest range I’ve ever been not pregnant (for context I’m 1.68m tall, and at conception for DD1 was 52-3kgs/DD2:50-1kgs; DD3: 55-6kg and DD4 around 60kg…am sitting just about that 60kg mark atm too now). I definitely NEED muscle and to rebuild my core and strenght (if for nothing else, to help with my chronic back pain).

My strategy once I settle in the new job over the coming weels is to devise a simple exercise plan (has to be simple, or life will just get in the way!) since I will be working from home 2 days a week – so my min. will be 2 good HIIT/bodyweight sessions those days, and keep active otherwise (standing up at desk if I can & walking) if I can’t squeeze in more HITT sessions (I’ve got a simple smartwatch to track activity so it motivates me to get my bum moving more ^^). I am doing nettle tea & eating our garden’s fresh citrus for nutrients to help bost the iron tabs – and black tea with milk rather than coffee and drinking water to thirst. I take coconut water when I have migraines striking but not actively trying to drink some everyday like I did when swaying for #3 ^^ Adding a collagen protein shake (it is very clean with basically only collagen and whey – not vitamins or otherwise)that I can guzzle on the go 1st thing in the AM as I don’t usually have time for brekkie until I sit at my desk at work a few hours after wake-up (prioritising getting the kids fed and ready before I head out). Adding in bone broth to sauces, mixing in ghee and grass fed butter to dishes where I can, NYF to salads and FF greek yogurt in many dishes.
I think that I need to really cut back on gluten, as I think I tend to eat too carby foods and especially those containing gluten..at least, replace more of the carbs with more nutrient dense carbs (so intead of doing a side of white rice with say curry or chili, will do 50/50 rice with quinoa or chickpeas etc).

**For hubby: doesn’t and never has smoked, drinks rarely, and/but is not going to the gym anymore (hasn’t for quite some time now) – so could do with more muscle/exercise – trying to find easy, discreet ways to get him to not sit down as much and try to build up that muscle. Only good thing is, in the last few months, he started using a stand-up desk at work so he is standing rather that sitting down on his family jewels all day LOL he is also due to change jobs in a few months, and since it will be closer to home, will not spend as much time sitting in the car (which I’d say is good?!). I’d consider having him use a way to cool down his boxer area but I know you don’t think it’s all that necessary haha We have been doing some back yard works and to save $ he did most of it himself so he’s literally spent weekends digging dirt and moving heavy stuff – but still has ways to go to get more muscular especially in the belly. I know a bit of fat isn’t going to make or break a sway – I’m thinking just being in optimal shape from a fertility perspective.

I must admit since returning to work from mat leave in January I have been really slack with meal planning – so need to get back into that (it is a timesaver too, things have just been so chaotic that I did not hav ethe headspace for anything more) as that will allow me to ensure a better balance of protein/nutrients going into every meal

We both had Covid in January and have been run down since (I mean, more run down than usual thanks to 4 kids/ full time work :P) so I think coming into our winter now, we certainly could benefit from an overall health boost anyways haha


**Re IVF/retrieval - I have leads for a possible IVF Dr in my country that does “gender aware” IVF (which isn’t actual legal here in Oz – he only takes on couples with genuine fertility issues but allows you to chose your embryo) – the issue here: to be able to get in, I need a referral from my GP – and the best way to get that referral would be to be a bit sneaky saying that I DO have cycles, and have maybe had a couple of chemical pregnancies. With my age, and underlying endometriosis, that would be enough of an “excuse” to get the referral I think… BUT then I ALSO will need to convince hubs because while he all needs to do really is a deposit or two (they would likely do a SA prior to everything anyways), I need him on board somehow (plus can’t just plunder our bank account to pay for all this ^^). So in therory, it’d be awesome to get in soon get a retrieval , get some embies tested and freeze them for a later transfer – in practice, it’s an awful lot of “Ifs” :P

In short, so much uncertainty overall, which I HATE – I plan everything and it sh*ts me not being able to prepare more specifically ..while I am getting clucky, I am also WAYYYY tooo tired to want to pregnant atm anyways (I am the one stopping DH on the rare DTD opportunities to send him get protection before he gets carried away) ^^

[atomic sagebrush]

can you bump this for me?? I'm so sorry I thought I'd have a chance to reply this afternoon and now it's dinnertime LOL.

[LMSM]

Sorry I was unable to get on here for days !!!
Bumping this now thanks

[atomic sagebrush]

No it's my fault it just depends when I check the messages if I have time enough to answer them.

So have you started the multi yet?

How is settling in going?? Are you able to do some exercise? Even if it's only just 15 minutes 3x a week we've seen it help.

Be sure you're doing the tea at a different time of day than the iron, as it can interfere with absorption.

Oh wow great that hubby was just without much effort able to make some positive changes. Yes I don't think the "icing the jewels" strategy works unless you were able to spend many hours a day doing it (and how miserable that would be!)

Oh, great that you've got Covid off your "to do" list LOL!!! And glad everyone came through it ok.

Wow, keep me posted on the possible IVF! I hope hubby is receptive to it! I SO wish that family balancing was accepted, there's no reason why those of us who have four of one gender shouldn't have a chance at the opposite...it's not like there will be any imbalance of gender, we already did our parts, LOL.

Yes keep up using protection for now - till you're ready to roll!! That way we won't have any oopsies messing up your plans.