Annoying comments when you actually get your DG?

[Myloves]

I used to rage over comments like that. But usually I would hear opposite things - terrible things about dd! I think someone even said she'd be a lesbian at some point (nothing wrong with lesbians, but it's stupid to assume a girl's sexual orientation is based on whether she has brothers or not).

Then I realised, people just don't THINK before they talk! Either that or some people are just trying to make conversation (when they say things like, 'oh you must so happy to have a girl', 'finally it's a girl!')

[Claire33]

Thanks for all the responses ladies! It's good to know that I'm not the only one experiencing this or that I'm not crazy being sensitive about this. I guess most people don't have a clue how their comments or reactions come across to us "gender sensitive" people

For now, since I still don't have a 100% guarantee that it is a girl (u/s at 13 weeks and blood test at 7 weeks said girl, but I'm still worried about it being a boy ). So I'm waiting to announce pink to most people until my regular u/s in around a month. Only close family and friends have heard it's a girl, and their responses have really thrown me off, as I said. I've told them not to announce gender to anyone else.

Until my regular u/s if people talk about gender I just shrug and say "oh well, we'll see", most people say nothing after that. Some people say that there is a higher chance of having another boy, which I prefer to "Hope it's a girl!", or they just ask "Do you know what it is?", I just say no and they leave it at that.

I'm sure I will be getting many more annoying comments later on! But I think I will just downplay the comments. I mean, if I act all happy about it being a girl, they'll probably conclude that I wasn't happy with my boys, which I don't want them to do!

[atomic sagebrush]

I used to rage over comments like that. But usually I would hear opposite things - terrible things about dd! I think someone even said she'd be a lesbian at some point (nothing wrong with lesbians, but it's stupid to assume a girl's sexual orientation is based on whether she has brothers or not).

Then I realised, people just don't THINK before they talk! Either that or some people are just trying to make conversation (when they say things like, 'oh you must so happy to have a girl', 'finally it's a girl!')

Yep I got this one too esp. since DH's aunt is the only girl after 5 boys and is actually a lesbian.

They have done studies and found that having a lot of older brothers did not seem to make girls more likely to be lesbians, although for reasons that are not fully understood, it did seem to make youngest brothers with many older brothers somewhat more likely to be gay. There is a lot of speculation about why that is but no one is sure just yet.

If you live in the UK John Barrowman actually did a documentary about that which I found interesting.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh and interestingly enough, while we live in an age where any slightly sporty/tomboyish girl is immediately branded "a lesbian" only a few decades ago, tomboys were thought to be predestined to be super boy crazy when they grew up. So there is no rhyme or reason to people's opinions, and they're subject to change like the winds.

[atomic sagebrush]

I am one of those "crazy folks" who had another baby after our DG. And the comments you get there will also screw with your head. I did tend to get annoyed by the implication that my sons were not good enough when we were expecting our daughter. People said "FINALLY, a girl!"....which just seemed so silly. I had two boys, not 15! But, it didn't bother me quite so much because I was pretty thrilled to be getting a girl. And I didn't suffer a ton of GD before her, so maybe my take on it was a tad less intense than some.

BUT, we went team green for our fourth and the comments about drove me wild. "Oh, I bet you are hoping for a girl!" "Oh, what will you do if you end up with three boys?" "Your daughter just needs a sister!" "Two and two is so perfect." And we just didn't care, we wanted a healthy, happy little baby (which we got). But it made me feel that folks wouldn't be excited if we delivered a boy or that we somehow failed if we didn't produce the perfect 50-50 split. Thankfully, my son seems to have been welcomed with much excitement and we got less of those comments after he was here than before. But, yeah, I feel you. People need to stop talking! Haha.

You know, reading this I have to admit to sometimes feeling a wee bit annoyed with ~a tiny handful~ of gals that come and go on all the swaying sites, not just this one, where they had a boy that's like 2 years old, and then get a girl next, and they're like "FINALLY I have my precious daughter. I've been waiting SO LONG for her." They are typically 26 years old and one little boy and they "dare" to use the word "finally" in front of some of us who have 4-5-6 boys and/or have been raising all boys for 20+ years. I know they are excited but it does ~occasionally~ come on a bad day for me - and I have a daughter. So I suspect it is hurtful to others who don't, even more so.

So thank you for writing this. Much appreciated.

[The Anchor]

I can't believe how rude some people are. There is nothing that makes me more furious than unsolicited advice. When I announced my third pregnancy (which sadly ended in m/c) so many people were saying things like "but you've got one of each why would you want a third?" and "Oh this one must have been an accident". I can't believe the nerve some people have.

[Claire33]

Ha ha, Atomic, I agree. For some reason I don't feel like those women are quite in the same boat as me... Some even get TWIN girls after one boy

[Ugee]

on a kind of different note about rubbish comments I'm feeling sad that my mum isn't as excited about this pregnancy as I thought she might be. She was great with both boys and helped me with my GD by not being judgemental but always said I shouldn't have had them so close together! This time when I told her I was pregnant she was great or so I thought anyway. When I told her yesterday that we are having a girl (waited for my anatomy confirmation to tell her in case early scan was wrong) she just seemed to reply with a bland tone of congratulations! This is her 1st granddaughter and so I'm totally confused. So far all comments from anyone about this baby have annoyed me! Wish I had told people we weren't finding out now.

[kitkat18]

Oh Ugee! Maybe she really did not have a preference, maybe take her shopping with you or do something bonding? I know my MIL was sort of happy but also didn't really seem bothered as she had, had two boys and assumed my third would be a boy as well. I hated the comments I got at first and they are still coming but I just ignore them!! Xxx

[atomic sagebrush]

I wonder if it's because she doesn't want to seem like she's favoring a girl over the boys??