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  1. #21
    Dream Vet

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    Totaly get what you're sayong even though I'm not there yet! I truly hope to get my DD one day but this is the exact reason I plan to tell people we're team green even though we will find out! 1) so if it's a boy i don't have to deal with everyone else's disappointment and 2) if it is a girl I don't have to listen to, or rather my boys don't have to hear, people saying how I've finally got it right and how it's third time lucky!
    People have actually said it'll be third time lucky if I have another so I will be choosing to avoid their comments as much as possible.

    I know you are not ungrateful for what you have, you are upset at how your boys are being seen or made to feel, I 100% get that and don't blame you for feeling the way you feel! x
    gorgeous DS1

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    Praying and hopefully soon swaying for a precious pink princess to further complete our family

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  3. #22
    Big Dreamer

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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    I wonder if it's because she doesn't want to seem like she's favoring a girl over the boys??
    Maybe, I can understand that if it's the case but she sees how I dote on my boys and that they are my world. I tried to tell myself maybe she is just being cautious until baby arrives as anything can happen from now till then. Just felt totally deflated after speaking to her.

    At least when we all have our babies people act differently and just then see the baby as a tiny human instead of their gender as much. I didn't realise how sensitive I am still about it all and how far our GD travels even after you get your preference. It's good to know we all can discuss it on here
    DS1 2011 DS2 2013. Successful sway August 2015

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  5. #23
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    So true Ugee I am still working through mine x

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  7. #24
    Dream Vet

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    Both my parents were disappointed when I announced dd3, they forced a smile and said oh good.
    My mil on the other hand, maybe not untentionally, has the comments that hurt. My son is a girl maker. I saw 4 girls and thought of u guys. It is just SO bizarre to her that ppl make single gender families.

    My plan, if I get pg with a boy, is not to tell anyone till he comes out, so that I'll be too busy to wait to hear the dumb comments and so they'll see that having the boy is the same amount of work initially and to leave me be.

    I am already anticipating if I get pg all the stupid comments. "If u have 2 in a row ur likely to have 3 in a row, etc."
    Let them talk and hopefully I can just give em the finger in my head.

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  9. #25
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    Ugee, sorry about your mom's reaction. I don't know why she would react like that, maybe she was tired, maybe she feels like 2 children is enough for you, I don't know. Maybe she doesn't want to be excited in case it's a boy after all. I hope she comes around a bit!

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  11. #26
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    @Atomic
    Oops! I feel a bit bad for my siggy now
    I'm just super pumped that we managed to even have twins after I thought we were done. I mean when I think about it, two boys is nothing compared to 4, 5 or 6 of them!
    Buti had pretty bad GD with both my sons and it ran much deeper than the ordinary 'wish i had the opposite gender for once after having the same' type of gd. (I really hate that i felt that way now - wish i had the ordinary gd!)
    Anyway im still super pumped to have three ghirls when there once a time where i thought i'd never get to have any at all!

  12. #27
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    @Ugee
    I didthe same with my sister at first *blush*
    Its just that she already had two beautiful girls and I didn't want her to think I'd suddenly start favouring my nephew over my two nieces just vause he's the only boy. (Boys are highly favoured in my family). But now, 4 years later, everything is great! His big sisters are the ones who dote on him
    '04 '07 '10

    After ages of praying for a sister for DD, I am proud to announce the birth of my twin baby GIRLS born Oct 31st.

  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Claire33 View Post
    Right now I'm in a situation I thought I'd never be in, which is actually getting my DG. I'm in a state of disbelief. I'm not even sure if I should post this, as I've been on "the other side" for so long that I don't want to be smug or hurt anyone's feelings with this "complaint". But I just wonder if other people in my situation recognize this? Only me and DH know of my GD, I've never let a shimmer of it show to anyone else. And now that we're getting our DG, I find myself getting annoyed at other people's comments and excitement about this being a girl. Just as I did when they once commented on "yet another boy" in my previous pregnancies, or "hopefully a girl this time" comments. This time people are so excited that I feel myself getting annoyed at them. Would they not be excited if it was another boy? How would they react if this was a 4th boy? Are my 3 boys not good enough for them? I just downplay the whole thing and pretend it's not a big deal. Of course it's a big deal for me, but it's none of their business. If they just said "Oh, that's nice, a girl after 3 boys" it would be okay. But they are jumping up and down for joy and getting all teary-eyed, so I just look away and pretend I don't see it. Again, I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, I've lived in the GD-world for 8 years, so I really don't want to offend anyone or seem ungrateful. I am very grateful, but I feel like I am still living with the effects of GD, and am feeling very protective over my sons at the moment. I might even consider to pretend to be Team Green from now on, just in order to avoid the overly joyous reactions of people, because I feel it's unfair to my sons. Does anyone have any similar experiences?

    I didn't find out what sex my first two where but I did for my third. For two reasons 1) to be prepared for my third boy and 2) to have time to adjust to fact that I was going to have four children. I always wanted a larger family anyway but I needed to be able to cope too. (My husband only wanted two but support me and my GD) My friends and family knew of my GD and when I found out my third was a boy I felt extremely protective of this fact and my husband and I kept it secret to which his family was not at all happy with. When I found out I couldn't help the tears that ran down my cheeks when I had the gender confirmed and thought I'd need to privately mourn by myself later when I was alone. It didn't come and I accepted it a lot better than I thought I would. I still had one more shot. I got all the comments about it def being a girl this time blah blah blah. I could not for a second bare the thought of my beautiful baby being labelled as 'oh just another boy'. I had actually said something similar once to a friend after she had had her third son and when I was in those shoes I felt like cutting my tongue out as it was heartbreaking to me know that I had said something so stupid, I couldn't believe that I had said it. I simply didn't get it then but I do now. I have three healthy baby boys and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. The bond that my husband and I have with our third is absolutely incredible, I adore him more than anything (as I adore my other two) but to me he's really special. He brings so much joy to everyone in our family. Let them make comments, it's because they don't understand and they never will. I was extra protective about my boys too because they are amazing. Not second class because of their gender. You know how lucky you are, you are going to have an amazing life with your four children. I'm due to have my dd in four weeks. Yes I'm just about peeing my pants with excitement but she will be loved not just by me but I know just as much by my boys. I went ht to get her and would do it again in a heartbeat. I can't even begin to say how grateful I am to be having her but nothing will ever change the way I feel about my boys. There really special and will always be my babies xx
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  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myloves View Post
    @Atomic
    Oops! I feel a bit bad for my siggy now
    I'm just super pumped that we managed to even have twins after I thought we were done. I mean when I think about it, two boys is nothing compared to 4, 5 or 6 of them!
    Buti had pretty bad GD with both my sons and it ran much deeper than the ordinary 'wish i had the opposite gender for once after having the same' type of gd. (I really hate that i felt that way now - wish i had the ordinary gd!)
    Anyway im still super pumped to have three ghirls when there once a time where i thought i'd never get to have any at all!
    I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad at all, I know some people have very strong GD from day one, it's my problem and not anyone elses!!

    I am very happy that you got your girls!
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  15. #30
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    You rock Atomic Sagebrush. That is all
    '04 '07 '10

    After ages of praying for a sister for DD, I am proud to announce the birth of my twin baby GIRLS born Oct 31st.

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