Annoying comments when you actually get your DG?

[Claire33]

Right now I'm in a situation I thought I'd never be in, which is actually getting my DG. I'm in a state of disbelief. I'm not even sure if I should post this, as I've been on "the other side" for so long that I don't want to be smug or hurt anyone's feelings with this "complaint". But I just wonder if other people in my situation recognize this? Only me and DH know of my GD, I've never let a shimmer of it show to anyone else. And now that we're getting our DG, I find myself getting annoyed at other people's comments and excitement about this being a girl. Just as I did when they once commented on "yet another boy" in my previous pregnancies, or "hopefully a girl this time" comments. This time people are so excited that I feel myself getting annoyed at them. Would they not be excited if it was another boy? How would they react if this was a 4th boy? Are my 3 boys not good enough for them? I just downplay the whole thing and pretend it's not a big deal. Of course it's a big deal for me, but it's none of their business. If they just said "Oh, that's nice, a girl after 3 boys" it would be okay. But they are jumping up and down for joy and getting all teary-eyed, so I just look away and pretend I don't see it. Again, I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, I've lived in the GD-world for 8 years, so I really don't want to offend anyone or seem ungrateful. I am very grateful, but I feel like I am still living with the effects of GD, and am feeling very protective over my sons at the moment. I might even consider to pretend to be Team Green from now on, just in order to avoid the overly joyous reactions of people, because I feel it's unfair to my sons. Does anyone have any similar experiences?

[tweedledeedum]

Yep, it totally annoyed me too. I didn't tell anyone until the birth but comments like 'what will you do if you have another boy?' from a relative with a pp really hurt. Like my boys arent good enough. And the over joy after the birth was totally felt too. it's hard. It has gotten a lot better since the birth/newborn phase and I really don't think much about it now, almost 3 years later..

[WannaGirl]

Maybe they have experienced or know people who experienced GD also? My 5yo actually asked if I wanted a girl a couple of days ago at Disneyland, so even he thinks a mix of genders is preferable?
If someone told me they were having a 4th I wouldn't be able to say that's great because I wouldn't feel it is, congrats on your pregnancy xx

[Ugee]

Yes, I now get comments like " finally you get your girl" like I had to have two boys to get her. Makes me cross to think my boys are looked at as nothing! But I think people just don't know they say stupid things. My friend who is also pregnant with her 3rd baby already has both genders and people say to her "why are you having anymore? You already have one of each!" I don't think anyone escapes the comments. I try to just ignore them and it does help that I now am carrying my DG to do that.

[deaks66]

Claire I 100% feel like this too. It's such a strange position to find yourself in after years of wanting it to come true but I think you're right, it's a reaction to the many years of feeling protective of your boys and gd feelings. I wish I could jump up and down in joy with the people I tell too, but it makes me sad to think that they would have been disappointed for me had I had another boy. If id had another boy I would have wanted them to jump up and down and tell me how wonderful it is. But I know that wouldn't have happened. I decided to tell people at 16 weeks that I know this one is a girl so that by the time she arrives it will be old news and I won't be dealing with these feelings then. What a mind f*** xx

[Mumof3girls]

I am getting all sorts of comments too like oh thank god its a boy & are you finally done now & the worst one is when people say don't you already have 7 kids & I get so upset & I say no I have 8 kids. I have also heard people say to my friend why do you want a third you have one of each. What's it to people how many kids we have anyway. Why do they need to be part of our decision making. We have also told everyone we are having a boy after 3 girls & hopefully all the nasty comments are gone by the time he arrives. (I know what you mean Deaks)

[Boom]

I anticipate a similar response to our announcement. After 4 boys we went HT and I'm now 3 months pregnant with my girl.

[kitkat18]

Yes Claire people say the stupidest things! I have been told it "took me three goes to get it right". I have also been extremely sensitive of those mummas at school or friends who I know would love their DG. I think you are right we are just working our way through the effects of GD still even though we have our DG. I still get pangs sometimes when I forget I have DG and see my DG family out and about - bizarre! I think Ugee is right just ignore the comments if you can they should subside as your pregnancy progresses XX

[atomic sagebrush]

I also got a lot of "oh good thing it's a girl, you would have cracked up otherwise" ya know because I was that close to the brink that another handsome little man to love would have just driven me right round the bend. :/

[hotdogz&boyz]

I am one of those "crazy folks" who had another baby after our DG. And the comments you get there will also screw with your head. I did tend to get annoyed by the implication that my sons were not good enough when we were expecting our daughter. People said "FINALLY, a girl!"....which just seemed so silly. I had two boys, not 15! But, it didn't bother me quite so much because I was pretty thrilled to be getting a girl. And I didn't suffer a ton of GD before her, so maybe my take on it was a tad less intense than some.

BUT, we went team green for our fourth and the comments about drove me wild. "Oh, I bet you are hoping for a girl!" "Oh, what will you do if you end up with three boys?" "Your daughter just needs a sister!" "Two and two is so perfect." And we just didn't care, we wanted a healthy, happy little baby (which we got). But it made me feel that folks wouldn't be excited if we delivered a boy or that we somehow failed if we didn't produce the perfect 50-50 split. Thankfully, my son seems to have been welcomed with much excitement and we got less of those comments after he was here than before. But, yeah, I feel you. People need to stop talking! Haha.