The Price I Paid for my Baby Girl

[retialla]

Thank you everyone, your support means a lot to me I don't post here often but this is a truly wonderful community that I am very grateful for!

I know my story is kind of scary but I wanted to share it. I don't believe any of it was caused by my sway (which was very light to begin with). But I am considering one more child in the next few years and debating whether or not to sway girl again so my daughter can possibly have a sister versus maximizing my health but taking vitamins, eating well, etc. I would never want to put another child through what my daughter went through, she has paid the ultimate price and it nearly cost her her life. It is still very hard to see how much she struggles with very basic baby things like breathing and eating just because of her extreme prematurity.

And thankfully my physical health remained pretty good throughout the whole ordeal surprisingly enough since abruptions are often very dangerous for the mother as we all know! I was slightly anemic while hospitalized but considering how much bleeding I seemed to be having, it never got that bad. I was very lucky it was managed well. My last physical was about a month ago and all of my labs were perfect. The classical c-section is a major bummer for me though since it means the next baby must be delivered by c-section since the risk of uterine rupture is too high for most OBs to consider a VBAC.

I am a nurse and now thinking about switching specialties to NICU (possibly at the same NICU my daughter is at, since I've grown so fond of it and the staff). Maybe I can help better support other NICU parents since I can emphasize with their struggles. Perhaps there is a silver lining after all.

[Claire33]

Wow, what a story! I was relieved to read that she survived, I was half expecting the story to end in tragedy. I'm sorry your baby has had side effects from her permature birth. How will her eye sight be, do they have any idea? And her prospects of the lung disease? I can imagine that the classical c-section was hard. Will they have to cut in the same incision again? I've had both vaginal birth and c-section (transverse). Recovering after a c-section is no walk in the park, so I support you on that. But I also have to have another now, so I'm dreading it already.

I'm so glad that both you and your daughter survived this ordeal, and hope that any future pregnancies will be without complications.

[retialla]

Thanks Claire! I also dread the thought of another c-section. I think I have one more in me, but will probably close up shop after that! As far as I know, they would do a transverse if it was just scheduled full-term c-section. The doctors have said no labor at all but also that they can't schedule a c-section usually before 38 weeks, even though they know I had my boys in the 37th week and would likely go into labor on my own before 38 weeks. I guess if I have another we'll figure it out.

Thank you for asking about my daughter. She is coming home on a small amount of oxygen and monitor and will be followed by a pediatric pulmonologist. Hopefully she will be able to wean off it soon after she gets home. It is depressing to watch her often pant and head bob, she looks like she is constantly in respiratory distress, but they say it's her normal and she seems to tolerate it. She is not able to wake up and take all of her feedings so I've asked to bring her home with a feeding tube. Hopefully she can start to wake up more and take all of her feeds so we can get rid of it too. It is a lot of work for her to eat and she often has to stop and catch her breath. She only has Stage 1 Retinopathy of Prematurity, which is pretty good considering that she was on 100% oxygen for so long. Since it hasn't progressed beyond Stage 1, I'm hoping at her next exam it will start to regress and not cause her any problems. They are very aggressive about treating retinopathy if it progresses though, but for now they're just watching it.

Can you not try for a VBAC after a transverse? Are you going HT to get your baby girl or are you already expecting? I hope you get your baby girl!

[Claire33]

I'm glad you are a nurse you you know exactly how to take care of her! She is in the best of hands with her mommy I'm glad to hear that she might not have any long term effects of her premature birth. A proper miracle baby!

I've already had 2 c-sections, and I hated them both with a passion, but it means no VBAC for me unfortunately. I guess that if you ever get pregnant again, you would have to go to hospital at even the slightest sign of labor.

I was going to go HT this summer, but ended up pregnant by accident... My 13 week scan tech said girl, but I'll only believe it properly at my 20 week scan!

[retialla]

Congrats! Sounds like it may have unexpectedly worked out for the best. I really hope for you that it is a girl!!! I also did not intend to get pregnant with my girl, I was planning to wait a few more months to try.

My baby's nub looked girly at 11 and 12 weeks and at 14 the tech did a potty shot and said 95% girl, but I didn't really tell anyone until after if was confirmed by the 20 week scan. And of course my last two ultrasounds in the hospital I insisted that the OBs reconfirm it was a girl and I really had to see her for myself after birth to say 100% it's a girl! I had to see it to believe it. But what's weird is the first time I saw her at my 10 week ultrasound, way too early to tell, the first thought I had was "it's a girl." But I told myself I was crazy.

When you're a boy mom, everyone expects another boy it seems like. I expected to have another boy myself. I feel like I'm meant to be a three boy mom so if I have another I'm sure it'll be a boy, which would be fine, there is only room for one princess in my house. I'm sure you're dealing with a lot of comments right now being a 3 boy mom expecting a fourth.

[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

What a story - I hope you'll post photos as soon as you can im so happy she's alive and is coming home soon.


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[luvmyfam]

Aww! Congrats on your baby girl! It sounds like she is doing very well. I am a NICU nurse and you sound like such a pro and an awesome mommy!

[Mrs_Incredible]

Huge hugs. Read that with a lump in my throat. Little fighter you have there. Congratulations xx

[retialla]

Sorry for the delay friends! Been a bit busy around here. I am still working 2 nights a week as I couldn't take any more time off work, but at least I'm part time now. My husband is also able to take a month of paternity leave, then we'll try to work around each other's schedules if possible.

My baby girl finally came home a week ago! She stayed in the NICU a few weeks past her due date (for a total of 129 days there.) She had a few bumps in the road before she could be discharged. She was too sleepy to wake up to take all of her feeds by mouth, so they weren't letting her come home. When I realized she just wasn't quite getting it, I insisted that they let me bring her home with an NG tube (feeding tube that goes in through her nose.) So now she's home on a small amount of oxygen and also gets about 6 hours of tube feeding a night. She sleeps through the night like an older baby, but her little body still needs her to wake up constantly to feed like a newborn, so the tube feeds are a necessary evil right now. Weight gain is an issue too since she has to work a lot harder to breathe, and expends more calories. She was 8 lb, 2oz at her first pediatrician visit last week and I'm hoping she's gained more since then! I'm used to her being weighed on a fancy hospital scale every night so a week without weights is a bit disconcerting for me! Some good news is that her retinopathy regressed so she isn't seeing the ophthalmologist for 6 months since he said her eyes were "normal" at her last check up!

My baby girl seems like a typical baby so far. Doesn't seem phased by her 4 month NICU stay. She gets fussy at night and wants to cluster feed. She wants to be held all the time during the day and I don't blame her one bit! I let her nurse some and I'm still pumping. She's very gassy and has constipation issues from the fortifier they want us to add to her breastmilk, but that's been an ongoing issue. It is annoying dragging around oxygen tubing but also comforting to have her on a monitor, especially at night when she is sleeping. The tube feeds and gavages aren't bad. It is all basic nursing care that anyone could do. My husband is a paramedic so he picked all this up very fast and I also like that I have a medic here 24/7 for emergencies.

So she is one month adjusted today (4.5 actual) and doing well. Her brothers are nice to her so far. My biggest fear is that they will get her sick, and a little cold could send her back to the hospital. She is a bit twitchy so I worry about neuro issues that may pop up in the future, like cerebral palsy, but it's too early to tell at this point. We can only wait and see, but so far so good. I would never wish this on anyone, but it has taught me patience and to cherish this short time I have with her as a baby.

I like to show one of my most (but not worst) shocking photo of her. Sorry if it upsets anyone, but I think it kind of gives a good idea of what a 24 weeker really looks like!

[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

She's a little miracle ️ bless her heart. Bless you too mama.


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