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  1. #1
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    retialla's Avatar
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    Sad Face The Price I Paid for my Baby Girl

    I was in the process of starting my LE sway to conceive a girl when DH foiled everything and I got pregnant after only a few weeks of basically no meat or vitamins. I also was taking Benadryl to help regulate my sleep cycle because I worked 3 nights a week at the time and also ate meals at random times due to work. That's my "sway" in a nutshell.

    So my third pregnancy appeared to be going smoothly. I had a normal ultrasound around 10 weeks gestation and baby looked great. Two days later, after a busy night shift and pushing very hard on a large patient who refused to turn so that he could be changed, I came home and went to sleep. I felt a little crampy but figured it was GI related. I woke up maybe an hour later and went to the bathroom. I was shocked to see a lot of bright red blood in the toilet. I had never experienced any bleeding with any past pregnancy. I had never been so scared in my life. I thought I was having a miscarriage.

    I called my husband and he was luckily off work and took me to the local ER. There they did an ultrasound and diagnosed a large subchorionic hematoma (SCH). I was sent home on bedrest. I spent about a week on bedrest then went to the OB office. The bleeding had stopped at that point but the SCH was still there, ever so large and ominous-looking. My regular OB wasn't there but another doctor at the practice basically told me it was perfectly fine to go back to a high stress job where you are on your feet all night, lifting, etc. Soon after I felt I had no choice but to go back to work. I didn't want to lose my job.

    The bleeding started again though so finally my doctor put me on modified bedrest until 2 weeks of no bleeding. The bleeding eventually stopped and I went back to work, feeling again that I had no choice. I continued to insist on frequent ultrasounds, but the SCH really didn't change much, it got a little smaller and was pronounced by the doctors as "stable." I found out at 14 weeks that were were having a little girl after two boys, so I was thrilled.

    I had my 20 week anatomy u/s and my baby was perfect, but the SCH was still there, as large as ever. I noticed a small piece of my placenta was "flapping" around on the u/s and questioned this but was dismissed by the doctor. My OB told me no further u/s were needed unless the bleeding started again. They did not consider my pregnancy high risk or that bedrest was necessary.

    After a month of almost no bleeding, I was starting to actually feel positive about my pregnancy. I thought the hematoma and I were at a draw, that it was a live and let live situation, and things would go okay. That I would have my daughter on April Fool's Day, a few weeks before my due date like my sons, and she would weigh 7 lb, 5 oz.

    But alas, my hopes and dreams were shattered at 23 weeks. I feared the 23rd week of pregnancy more than any other. "This is my nightmare week" I told my husband and mom. The edge of viability. I knew a lot about micropreemies and they were my biggest pregnancy fear. It was a big medical ethical dilemma to me on the right course of action.

    I was walking a lot more at work. At 23 weeks, 2 days I woke up a few hours after work with more bright red bleeding. I was very upset, but told myself it was just the hematoma acting up again. My baby wasn't really moving either. My husband came home with our son and he insisted on taking me to a hospital 5 minutes from our house. He is friends with one of the doctors there so he called him and we were admitted emergently to L&D.

    The bleeding had slowed down and my baby looked great on the monitor. I figured we'd be sent home. They called in a high risk OB to do an ultrasound and we waited until that evening for her to arrive. She did not tell us what we had hoped to hear. The hematoma had caused a chronic abruption of my placenta (as I had seen at my 20 week u/s). Likely there was new bleeding. I also had a fist sized clot right on top of my cervix that needed to pass and could possibly cause my water to break or preterm labor at any time.

    They wanted to keep me there for at least a few weeks. I was to get the first injection of steroids the next morning. "It sounds like the doctor is leaning towards resuscitation," I was told. A lot of the L&D nurses did not like taking care of a woman in her 23rd week of pregnancy. The baby wasn't quite considered viable.

    The weekend on-call doctor strongly discouraged intervention if my baby could no longer tolerate things. I was told I would likely need a classical c-section and that my baby would mostly likely die. I had a consult with neonatology but didn't feel like it was particularly helpful. The hospital did had a level III NICU that could take 23 weekers. But it was up to the parents whether or not to resuscitate a 23 or 24 week baby. At 25 weeks, they would save them regardless of the parents' wishes.

    Thankfully we made it through that terrible weekend with minimal bleeding. I told the next doctor I wanted full interventions, including an emergency c-section, if my baby became distressed. "That's the whole point of me being here." He enthusiastically agreed.

    So began a week of frequent fetal monitoring and pain, bleeding, and contractions. I had several episodes of pain and bleeding, sometimes contractions and the episodes seemed to be worsening. The bleeding eventually became almost constant. The doctors wanted to keep me there at least until the large clot over my cervix passed. A week later, I had another u/s and the doctor was encouraging, saying that is seemed like the clot was smaller. But they couldn't tell me whether or not there was any new bleeding from the abruption, but it was likely.

    I was stuck on hospital bedrest and strongly discouraged from even taking a shower every day. I tried my best to drink a lot of water but then I'd have to get up and go to the bathroom every 15 minutes.

    The bleeding started to look more red and fresh. But we had made it to the 24th week and suddenly I was taken a lot more seriously by the doctors and nurses. I was told every hour I could keep her inside counted right now.

    On December 29th, at 24+5, I started having pain and what felt like contractions. Since my baby was so small, they could never position the monitors properly to pick up both her HR and my contractions. But the pain wasn't stopping and I insisted that they put the monitor back on. Every time I had pain, I saw her heartrate crash down then slowly recover. Deep variable decels with slow recovery was what they called them. I was telling myself maybe the monitor just keep losing her for a second, that it couldn't really be her heartrate tracing...

    Of course, the room quickly filled with nurses and the on-call doctor. It's never a good sign when a lot of nurses come into your room. They started a bolus of fluid and put oxygen on me. No help. I was only 1cm dilated despite all of this. Either my body was trying to go into labor and my baby, being so small, could not tolerate it, or the abruption was worsening. Either way, to save her, it was stat c-section.

    I was terrified, of both major surgery, and a micropreemie who might die. They wheeled me into the OR in tears. There was time to do a spinal. My husband, who I had called a little earlier, arrived only moments before the pulled her out. She cried when she came out and was immediately swarmed by the NICU delivery team, who intubated her and took her away although they let me have a peek at her on their way out. She weighed only 800g (1 lb, 12 oz).

    The doctor gave me the bad news that she had to perform a classical c-section because my baby was so preterm and her head was engaged, making it difficult to deliver her. Recovery from the c-section was very difficult after two easy vaginal deliveries, but I pushed myself and things got better after the first week.

    I went to see one of the perinatologists who had visited me in the hospital about 1 month postpartum. I insisted on a placental abruption workup to see if I had any clotting problems, although I know I'm more of a bleeder. The tests were thankfully negative. He told me I had a 1 in 8 chance of having another abruption with future pregnancies. I told him 2 out of my 3 pregnancies had SCH and he said there wasn't much research but that like most things in medicine, they tend to keep happening if you've had one or two. He said if I had another pregnancy, they'd be happy to follow me and do a lot of monitoring if nothing else but to put my mind at ease.

    I asked him what he would have recommended for a patient at 20 weeks that came in for their u/s and it appeared that part of the placenta was detached/abrupted. He said bedrest but then backtracked when he realized why I had asked and said of course that likely wouldn't have prevented what had happened to me. But maybe, if the regular OBs had taken things seriously sooner, the pregnancy could have lasted longer? It's a question that can't be answered, a big "what if" that haunts me.

    My daughter is the one who really suffered from all of this. She was on the vent for 7 weeks (a month of which on the oscillator) and had severe lung damage from the ventilator, that nearly killed her. I didn't even get to hold her until she was 6 weeks old. She had other bumps in her road, but she pulled through and is hopefully coming home in the next few weeks. She has chronic lung disease so she still on a little oxygen and has mild retinopathy. But she avoided things like brain bleeds, NEC, etc. Whatever road lies ahead of us, she is a wonderful blessing. Thank you GD for this wonderful baby girl, she is the apple of my eye.
    (6) , (4), & (light sway) 1 year old former 24 weeker:Read My GenderDreaming baby girl's story!

    Baby #4 (no sway) FULL TERM Baby Girl arrived 9.2016.

    Our family is complete!

  2. #2
    Big Dreamer

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    Wow, you went through a lot! I'm so glad your daughter is alive and has avoided some of the worst consequences of prematurity. I had a partial abruption with my DS and it took over a month to stop bleeding. I felt like I was in limbo the entire time, unable to really hope or believe my pregnancy would last. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to be in limbo for such a long time and with such an active job. Take good care of yourself--I hope you have been checked for anemia after such a difficult pregnancy and birth! And congratulations on your daughter!

  3. #3
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    Oh wow. Thank you for sharing your story. You sure have been through a lot to get your daughter. I wish you all the best for the road ahead xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Mum to two hoping for a bundle of x

  4. #4
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    Oh my goodness, you and your daughter have been through a massive journey together, however she certainly sounds like a fighter just like her mummy! May you both continue to get stronger and fitter and I hope she can come home soon xxx
    2 beautiful blue eyed boys who both own my (3 if you count DH!)
    2012 2014

    How strange it is to miss someone who has never existed... but now you are here, I recognised your beautiful face instantly, my little missing puzzle piece 2017

    'No one knows when or how their story ends...' My wonderful mum 2014.

  5. #5
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    You and your daughter have been through such a journey. You and your daughter are so strong! Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you all the best in the coming days ahead
    Enjoying life with my crazy little DS1 2010: and DS2 2012:
    Jan 15- Loss sway baby 12 wks
    It's a boy!
    My Chart

  6. #6
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    My goodness poor you and your poor daughter, im glad she's on the road to refinery and I wish you all a happy and healthy future xx
    gorgeous DS1

    gorgeous DS2

    Praying and hopefully soon swaying for a precious pink princess to further complete our family

  7. #7
    Big Dreamer

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    My goodness you have been through so much. She is so lucky to have a mummy like you questioned the treatment you were getting. I hope you have a very happy & healthy future together xx

  8. #8
    Dreamer

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    Wow , you have sure been through a lot. What an incredible journey. All the best to you and your family!

  9. #9
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Huge congrats on your baby girl and I am so happy the story had a happy ending! I was literally holding my breath as I read it!!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

  10. #10
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    XXforhubby's Avatar
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    I'm so glad that you and your daughter are through all of this! What an inspiration you two are. I wish you and your family the best!


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