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  1. #1
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    Girl or Boy? Is it ethical?

    I am a woman of 27 and I am contemplating a family of my own. I am generally very neurotic about big decisions and this one is by far the biggest I have had to make. I don't feel in a hurry, however, knowing that waiting longer could substantially reduce the chances of a few ways to conceive. I am not even certain if I want my own, I mean there are many children in the world that need parents. But I still want to understand the consequences of each one of my choices and hence I want to learn from people who have gone past my milestone in this journey. Any advice on how should I feel about the girl or boy dilemma? I don't feel much nclination right now toward either side. But I want to know if I should feel guilty about picking one?

  2. #2
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    Feeling guilty doesn't accomplish anything, so no, you shouldn't feel guilty about picking one. But why would you pick one in you don't feel much inclination toward one or the other? When you are ready to begin your family, TTC naturally and celebrate what you're given. This site is mostly filled with women seeking gender selection for family balancing - we have several children of one gender and would like to experience parenting the opposite gender, as well. Only rarely do women choose gender selection for a first child. But it does happen, and no, they should not feel guilty - especially not in a country where gender preference is pretty evenly divided between sons and daughters.

  3. #3
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    If you are in US or you can afford to do your IVF cycle in a country were gender selection is legal I would go there. If you don't care about gender for the first child just tell your doctor/embryologist to transfer a good quality embryo without telling you gender. However, I think knowing gender can be helpful for picking your future child if you decide to give a brother/sister to your first child.
    As you want to be a single mother you have to go through IVF anyway so I would include PGD so you have the chance to pick gender of your future children of you may want to.
    I also would like to say you don't have to feel guilty for having a gender preference for your first child. Some ladies here want to have a PP while others prefer to have a big family including at least one of each gender (like myself). As there are different kinds of families and different gender desires, people can also feel a special dream for their first child gender as there are those who experience GD while pregnant with their first child.
    I hope I made myself clear because English is not my mother language.
    Last edited by Pepper; August 29th, 2017 at 02:25 PM.
    My kids (2012) (2014) (2015) HT (2017) and HT (2019)

    Cycle #1 Genesis Nov/Dec 2016: 5 retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 tested, 1 abnormal XX, 1 normal XX HBAA transferred BN
    Cycle #2 Genesis Feb/Mar 2017: 9 retrieved, 7 fertilized, 2 tested, 2 normal XX.
    FET #1 8/April/2017: HT DD1 Born 25/Dec/17
    FET #2 15/Feb/2019: HT DD2 Born 25/Oct/19

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