I think the only time it would ever come up medically is if they were unwell. We see quite a few different specialists with our kids and first appointment with most (like neuro) is tell me about conception, pregnancy and birth.
I think we don't know for sure what things may come up in the future for our babies, so at some stage they may need to know.
I won't say about the GS though.
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Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink
Vickyaust, i too will potentially have the same problem in the future if it takes me multiple attempts because i live in the uk and will absolutely have to travel. If it didn't work the first time you could just say how much you loved the area you visited first time round and wanted to see more. I would rave about the US as soon as i got home from the first trip just to start that ball rolling...ha ha!
deaks66 good points. I think we will keep it all to ourselves this time. I have told a few close girlfriends. I don't think our family will offer the emotional support I need so will keep it a secret. We are now planning on sending over our 5 frozens from Melbourne so hopefully with them and a fresh stim I will be a OHW!
I'd want to keep it a secret to avoid judgement but I hate lying and find it really stressful, plus I am not very good at it because I am forgetful so my stories can be a bit mixed up. So it would be less stressful to tell the truth from the beginning. I think I would only tell immediate family whilst in the process and other people if it had worked out after but not to random strangers who don't matter. If people commented about my family make-up and seemed caring then I think I would mention it. Especially to people who might benefit from knowing it is available. I had no idea it existed until I found this website origonally planning to sway for our last. It seemed like such a far-fetched dream for me which is why I wont tell my family until we are in the position to do it to avoid the crazy eye rolling looks and pffts that I know would come from my Mum. My Sis knows I want to do it but she is the only person other than my DP who knows. I trust her fully.
As for telling the kids. I do not want any of the boys to feel like they should have been a girl thus unwanted so I think I will tell them that I wanted 4 kids anyway (I only wanted three but changed my mind after not getting a daughter) and wanted them to experience having a sister and my partner a daughter after so many sons. I think that story is pretty buyable and not far from the truth at all.
I told my 2 best friends, that's all! I wanted this baby more than anything and it doesn't matter to me how I got him. Plus we are having major gender issues with my SIL who doesn't know her babies gender, I think if she gets her DS, then what we did wouldn't bother her, but if she doesn't..well I think she'd use it against us.
Sounds like she is definitely one of those people who doesn't deserve to know.
Just re read my post from 2012. Very interesting.
We ended up doing our first cycle without telling anyone. Then we told our family any needed their support to help with our boys while we travelled. We ended up going back to HRC two more times and my parents had the boys fully the last cycle. They were an amazing support.
Now we have our DD I know my parents share in our joy. They helped us get her and I'm forever grateful.
I shared it with my close family: my parents, sister and in laws.
Also some of my closest friends know.
I think we will tell everyone at the end as DH doesn’t care about being open. I also believe we didn’t do anything to be judged about.