Thinking about PGD

[stellanneedsasis]

My story...I will try to make it short.

Got married, and thought I would have some fertility issues due to cervix surgeries and thyroid issues...but got preggo first try. Had an extremely difficult pregnancy. Severe sickness, basically bathroom ridden 24/7 the entire pregnancy. Started having contractions at 12 weeks, saw specialists and kept getting cervix and contractions monitored. Started dialating at 23 weeks and was bedridden. Was given meds, nothing stopped them. Went into active labor at 28 weeks, hospitalized and they got it under control. Everytime I left the hospital and was taken off mag. I would go back into labor and re-admitted. Also had a terbutaline pump (ugh hate that stuff). Anyhoo by the time I was 34 weeks I was dialated to a 7 and the Dr's allowed me have my sweet little boy. He had a week in the NICU and is perfect. He's 16 months now.

My dream for another child is plagued by terrible pregnancy memories. My families history is too get violently ill and I seemed to inherit that. The pre-term labor issue is most likely an aggravated uterus issue. Plus I have a shorter cervix. The Dr's can't tell me if it will happen again. I have a gut feeling it will and that this time it may be a much earlier delivery.

When I think about when and why I would want to go through this again...it's b/c I want a little girl. I'm not sure if my next pregnancy will go worse and I will have a much more pre-mature baby. At that point I wouldn't try for a 3rd.

So I am contemplating PGD here in Phoenix Az. My husband is open to a consult. I'm just having moral issues...am I playing God here? Is it wrong to want a girl so badly? I know most of you have multiple of one sex and that's why you turn to PGD...I'm not sure how many chances I get for my girl, or if I will be able to mentally and physically handle a third pregnancy if my second is another boy.

Any thoughts? Any of you deal with these same feelings? Thank you for any input. Also~have any of you been to Advanced Fertility Care in Phoenix, Az?? They offer PGD.

[nuthinbutpink]

Well, it is never an easy decision. You can always do the consult, see what your chances are with pretesting to see if you have a good chance at finding success and in particular, ask questions about a single embryo transfer(SET) as it does NOT sould like multiples is an option for you at all.

Playing God? I'm sure some say we are but all I can tell you is that I have tried never to ask God for anything outright...I always ask God to meet me half way- I am more than willing to put in the effort and time into something I want but ultimately, I believe it is up to God as to whether I shall receive it or not. I prayed very hard and instead of asking him to meet me half way this time, I BEGGED him to give me a son just like he had. I also prayed to Saint Michael, wore his medallion during all my visits, so if we are "playing" God, I asked him to play right along with me! That is a personal thought/feeling/belief and I don't think there is any right nor wrong answer. It is what you believe.

Good luck and happy to have you post with us. There are many more HT gals in the Private/Member forum just so you know where everyone is!

[lisvna]

Hi,

I'm from the Netherlands (Europe) so I don'y know anything about Phoenix, sorry I cant help you with that.....

But I totally understand you and your story!!!

Our son is now also 16 months.

When I was pregnant my husband hoped quitly for a babygirl and I hoped for a babyboy. Most important was that the baby was healthy, we wanted more kids so the gender wasn't important.

My labor was hard and finally I have had a ceasarea (surgery). My son was born with streptococ B so he was very ill and he had to stay in the hospital for 10 days with antibiotics 3 times a day. He nearly didn't make it.........

After that it was a crybaby and he sufferd of Reflux (I don't know of it is called the same in English) but he got medicins for that. The crying and that disease stopped when he turned one. So I had a rough baby time.

We always wanted a big family with boys and girls but after my hard labor and baby time we dicided (for now) we want just 2 kids. So we like to do family balancing and we are hoping for a girl because I want to experience both gender.

So in my opinion it is not strange that you feel like that and that you want to do PGD with your second child! We are almost in the same boat!

I wish you good luck!

[stellanneedsasis]

Thank you for your replies. I hope in no way did I offend anyone with my moral/ethical concerns. It's just me thinking out loud. I do agree though with you nothingbutpink...I guess if we did PGD and he really wanted me to have a son, he'd find a way for the Dr's to make a mistake and still give me a boy! Nothingbutpink~are you currently expecting with PGD? Yes, absolutely no twins for me...my uterus would NOT be happy about that. Lisvna~sorry you didn't have a great experience either, so scary, but happy things turned out good. I wish you luck on whatever way to decide to get your girl

[lisvna]

Thank you.... And the thing about God.... I think that if he really didnt want that we could choose he would not let the doctors invent Pgd . Sorry if I offend people with this.... But it's my believe.....

[nuthinbutpink]

Thank you for your replies. I hope in no way did I offend anyone with my moral/ethical concerns. It's just me thinking out loud. I do agree though with you nothingbutpink...I guess if we did PGD and he really wanted me to have a son, he'd find a way for the Dr's to make a mistake and still give me a boy! Nothingbutpink~are you currently expecting with PGD? Yes, absolutely no twins for me...my uterus would NOT be happy about that. Lisvna~sorry you didn't have a great experience either, so scary, but happy things turned out good. I wish you luck on whatever way to decide to get your girl

No, my HT son is nearly 9 months now!

[stellanneedsasis]

nuthingbutpink~Congratulations!! I'd like to ask you more about your HT experience...I don't see anywhere on this site to privately message you. Is there a place? I am doing LOTS of research online for locations that offer PGD and trying to see what it would actually cost me. Any input?

[nuthinbutpink]

There is a link to Private Message people on the main bar and if you click on anyone's user name you can private message that way. No matter, this is all easy info!

I would say for the IVF and PGD- it can average $10-$15,000 plus meds and travel. You CAN find places less expesinve and more expensive than those numbers. You also have to factor in meds which, depending on how old you are and how your pretesting goes, can run a couple of thousand to several.

A good place to check out clinics is www.SART.org They are a reporting organization that shows stats of IVF clinics. I look at the the live birth rate in particular and the FET rate as guidelines for me personally. Here is the link to the clinic you mentioned above- https://www.sartcorsonline.com/rptCS...linicPKID=2361

They don't see many cases but their success rates are good. You need to ask how much PGD they do and who does the biopsy, analysis, etc. You can start by googling in your area to see if there are clinics that offer "family balancing" or "gender selection"- Elective IVF basically because not all clinics are comfortable but also not all openly advertise they do it so sometimes, it is best to call. I cycled at RBA and they do not have it mentioned anywhere on their website but they definitely offer it!

I think staying local is great, you might have to go back for a FET which I did, and it makes things easier if you don't have to travel and stay gone for 10 days which, with 3 kids, we could not.

HTH

[princess-nash]

hi stellanneedsasis. I am a practicing Muslim, pray five times a day, a firm believer and I too thought is it right? is this what Allah wants.He's decree was for me to have three boys. I begged and begged him, I kept fast for the full month for years from dawn till dusk through all my pregnancies hoping he would bless me with a daughter. Never happened. I guess if Pgd does work this July and I do become pregnant then this to is he's will. So yes loads will question "are we playing god" but we do this in everyday life right. He has given me the knowledge, the brains to find out about IVF/PGD, to progress with going HT.

I'm so sorry that you went through so much hardship through your pregnancy. Ultimately it's your decision, do what you feel is right and I don't think anyone on this site will be offended. We are all united on GD as mums to express our emotions. NBP always gives great info too. All the best to you. xxx

[princess-nash]

Thank you.... And the thing about God.... I think that if he really didnt want that we could choose he would not let the doctors invent Pgd . Sorry if I offend people with this.... But it's my believe.....

I really do agree with this statement Lisvna.