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  1. #11
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    Hi SJSJ,

    We sound so much alike! I too have two boys (3.5 and 6mos) and am going to do IVF in December for a girl. I was going through the same thought process a few months ago. You are not taking someone else's spot in the IVF line. You're not keeping the service for yourself - there's room for everyone! There is nothing wrong with using technology and any or all legal means to make your life what you want. If "the universe" didn't want you to have a daughter, "the universe" would not have invented the means to make it so you could.

    I have three quotes that I've collected and made my mantras during this process. The first one is what tipped the scale for me and made me decide to go for it.

    "We only make this trip once, and we really should make it count." - Nancy Reagan (It's one of those cards/magnets from gift shops, who knows if she really said it!)
    "I like it when things happen. And if they don't happen, I like to make them happen." - Winston Churchill
    "Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having except as a result of hard work." - Booker T Washington (This is for when I have to give myself all the injections.)

    Also, when I went in for my IVF consult, I was shocked at how I did not have to justify my desire for sex selection AT ALL. I had a speech all prepared and rehearsed, and I didn't have to use it one bit. Everyone there was very matter-of-fact about it all, and that probably made me feel the most at peace about my decision. No one there thought I was crazy.

    If you have the means for IVF and the means to care for a third child, I say go for it! Life is too short for regrets.

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  3. #12
    Big Dreamer

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    I believe these thoughts have crossed many ladies minds who have considered going through IVF for GS. I agree with atomic. Whenever money is not an issue I would highly recommend IVF GS. I have 2 girls and did IVF for a boy. I absolutely felt guilty and questioned myself for doing it as I was able to conceive naturally no problem. We have decided that we will not have any more children unless we can guarantee that our third is a boy. IVF was the only option that will guarantee this. We did not once regret doing this. Our GS boy is almost 6 months old. We love him no differently from our girls. He was worth everything we went through to get him.
    Mommy to: (2014), (2016) & our GS (2019)

    Cycle #1: HRC February 2018 - 6 retrieved, 2 mature, 2 feritilized, 2 biopsied = 2 NORMAL XYs!!
    FET #1: Sept 2018 -BFP! Arrived May 2019

    Thank you Gender Dreaming & Dr Potter for completing our family ❤️

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  5. #13
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    I would not overthink it, we are blessed to have the technology we have to be able to do this.
    I was consumed with GD, it was torture, not even sure why not because I needed a clone or a ballerina, I think it was more of getting what I "don't" have.

    In the end you won't even think about it. You would be surprised how many people do HT for many reasons, my 5 years olds BFF in kindergarten - twin girls from a single mom/sperm donor IUI, and another twin boy/girl from egg donor and husband sperm and then my daughter HT/PGD! Crazy!
    2 Boys 6 & 9 yrs old 6 year old IVF and has NF1 - PGD to test for NF1 and Gender

    Cycle #1-August 2010-Transferred 1 Girl= BFN
    Cycle #2- Nov 2010- No Unaffected Females to Transfer No Unaffected Males to Freeze
    Cycle# 3- May 2011- 5 Fertilized --Frozen on Day 2 to Batch with Next Cycle
    Cycle #4- June 2011- Transferred 3 Girls=-BFN
    Cycle#5- September 2011-- Day 5 Biopsy-- Grade A Hatched Blastocyst Girl= BFN
    Cycle #6- Different Doctor-Dr Braverman January 2012-Transferred 3 Girls=BFN
    Cycle #7-April 2012 Transferred 6 Girls =BFN
    Cycle #8-July 2012 Transferred 3 Girls=BFN--WTF!
    Cycle #9-October 2012 Transferred 2 Girls- Beta-=13 Chemical Pregnancy...

    April 2013- 40 yrs old- New RE- SIRM-NYC/Westchester- Transferred 2 Girl Blasts & 2 Girl Morulas= BFP!!!!

    April 2015- 42 yrs old- SIRM- 1 Girl Transferred- BFP!!

    Samantha 12/17/13 8pounds 3oz


    Ava 12/28/15 8pounds 4oz


    My Miracle..http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ht-f...acle-here.html

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  7. #14
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    Hopefully Pink's Avatar
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    This is a pretty old thread, but I just thought Iíd add on just in case you might still be grappling with what to do.

    I had two boys just over two years apart and I had terrible GD after I found out I was having my younger son. We had only ever planned to have two kids so for me, I had to come to terms with having a third child just to have a daughter. I tried very hard to be okay with my boys and move on, but I often cried in secret and even though I loved my boys desperately I was so sad. I chalked it up to morning the loss of a daughter that I would never have. Then one night my husband came back from a meeting early and caught me sobbing in the shower, and thatís when he and I had an honest conversation about my GD. I told him I thought I could move on eventually but if I could guarantee our third was a girl I would do it in a second. Thatís when my Husband decided that we should definitely do IVF for a girl, because the possibility of regrets was too strong and if it didnít work out then at least we tried. We had enough money for one round and we decided to go all in and went to Dr. Potter. It was a tough process and knowing that it may not work was hard but I felt like I was chasing after what I felt was meant to be. I had had dreams of my daughter so I felt I had to know if they were real.

    For us IVF worked and my daughter is 2 years old now and I rarely think about how she was conceived because she completed our family in a way that felt so meant to be. I hope that helps anyone who might read this.



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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  9. #15
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    New to HT, moral dilemma

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopefully Pink View Post
    This is a pretty old thread, but I just thought Iíd add on just in case you might still be grappling with what to do.

    I had two boys just over two years apart and I had terrible GD after I found out I was having my younger son. We had only ever planned to have two kids so for me, I had to come to terms with having a third child just to have a daughter. I tried very hard to be okay with my boys and move on, but I often cried in secret and even though I loved my boys desperately I was so sad. I chalked it up to morning the loss of a daughter that I would never have. Then one night my husband came back from a meeting early and caught me sobbing in the shower, and thatís when he and I had an honest conversation about my GD. I told him I thought I could move on eventually but if I could guarantee our third was a girl I would do it in a second. Thatís when my Husband decided that we should definitely do IVF for a girl, because the possibility of regrets was too strong and if it didnít work out then at least we tried. We had enough money for one round and we decided to go all in and went to Dr. Potter. It was a tough process and knowing that it may not work was hard but I felt like I was chasing after what I felt was meant to be. I had had dreams of my daughter so I felt I had to know if they were real.

    For us IVF worked and my daughter is 2 years old now and I rarely think about how she was conceived because she completed our family in a way that felt so meant to be. I hope that helps anyone who might read this.
    Thank you for this Hopefully Pink! This serves as a good reminder to be positive and hopeful that we will get our girls and our families will be complete. I hope you are enjoying all the things having a daughter has brought you!
    Last edited by Blushpinkbabyxx; January 14th, 2020 at 10:21 PM.
    Momma to two handsome boys Dreaming, wishing, hoping & praying to high heaven for our baby girl to complete our family

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