Hello All, be honest, am I too old?

[jaynebelle]

Hi All,
Totally new to the site, i'm a 40 year old mum, my hubby is 41, we have a 17 year old son, and would love a daughter, but fear our ship may have already sailed! Anyway, lovely to be a member, looking forward to receiving your advice and opinions xxxx

[atomic sagebrush]

NO you are not too old!!! I got my DD at 41, hubby had just turned 42. Eldest son was 20!! Welcome!

[luckylass]

Nope I don't think you are too old either. I am 32 and was just talking to my consultant about this a while ago as there was a thing for years here about 35 being the end for women ttc but he told me with medical care etc being so good these days that 46 is the new 35 and he has plenty of women in their mid 40's having 2 and 3 no bother. Best of luck with concieving a little girl.

[jaynebelle]

Wow,
That's fantastic Atomic! I feel as though we're in a fantastic position to have another child, financially and emotionally, and I feel healthier than I did in my 20s when I had my son! To be honest, I dropped a few hints to friends and family that we may be considering adding to our family, and i've been met with some really negative comments such as "What about DS 1, he'll be embarrassed by you having a baby "(hes 17) and most people have been really insensitive, then I find myself worrying about the possibilities of birth defects, with us both being older...one things for sure, if we don't go for it, im sure i'll regret it , but its tough when everybody around me has been so negative...

[jaynebelle]

Thanks Luckylass, such positive news!! Just what I needed to hear !

[The Anchor]

Welcome jaynebelle! I am 40 and going for #3 - had my first at 36. We are not too old

[Butterfly Spirit]

No you aren't too old either one of you! Go ladies GO!!!!

[jaynebelle]

YAAAYYYY!! Thanks ladies, just what I needed, some positive words of encouragement!! My gran had 11 children in total, and was 44 when she had my uncle, so i'm hoping I inherited her fertility genes!! xxx

[Hobbermittens]

You are not too old! I just had a baby a few months before I turned 40.

[RedCanoe]

some really negative comments such as "What about DS 1, he'll be embarrassed by you having a baby "(hes 17)

Even if this is true atm, and it may not even be how he feels, I think that giving your son a sibling is a wonderful gift. I read an article a while ago written by someone who grew up as a single child - basically she was saying that it's not the 'lonely childhood' that everyone thinks of that's hard (she had lots of friends and was not lonely as a child) but being an only as an adult. Having to worry about and care for your aging parents on your own is hard. Losing a parent as a single child means that you are going through it alone, with no one else who this is also happening to who can be there to ease things. So if you had a DD (or another DS), your DS1 may not appreciate it right away, but he will someday.

the possibilities of birth defects, with us both being older...

While it's true that your odds are higher, it's still much, much more likely that you would have a healthy baby than a baby with birth defects. The odds are still very much in your favor.

And no, I don't think you're too old at all!