Ttc #3 feeling guilty about how much I'd love a daughter.

[Bettycrocker]

Hello,

So I've been 'stalking' this forum and a few others for months now. Basically I'm 34 and have 2 gorgeous Sons.
My eldest is 2 and was our lucky first try baby who was precious and premature. I BS for 12 months but despite this we conceived 3 months post-partum(!!). It was our 'let's see if s.e.x still works. We had another lovely Son.
I've put my teaching on hold to be a mum until our boys are at school. And have been trying to conceive our 3rd and final for a few months. My husband was very reluctant to have a 3rd for money reasons, so this really is our 3rd child.
I'm finding myself more and more desperate for a daughter. I long for the. Lose relationship and friendship my mum and I have. I do think there's something in the adage 'a sons a son until he meets a wife...'
I think I'd be a little heartbroken to know I couldn't have Daughter, which scares me tbh. With both gender scans I've felt sad. I'm just being honest so please don't judge me. I think it was just fear, but obviously it goes without saying I adore my sons and feel terrible about wanting a girl. It doesn't take anything away from the love I have for my sons I'm just feeling like I should be a girl mummy as well. do you gals understand?

So having taken fertility a bit for granted, conceiving so easily, I'm now frustrated and anxious that I'm doing it all wrong.

Every time we've tried I stop Bding as soon as I get a posititve opk. Nothing. So I'm worried that I should perhaps db more around O but obviously that is not going with the theory that I should avoid the fast Y sperm. Also cutting my chances by taking an antihistamine etc.

Should I just bd overy 2 days on my fertile days and stick to the LE diet?

My husband is stubborn and being difficult about embarking on a strict diet and has agreed only to cutting down on his cigarette consumption( he only smokes 1 per day usually so hoping he will stop this weekend ready for next weeks BD ing.

Any opinions would be greatly received.

Thank you
BC

[Dana-Alicia]

You've come to the right place No one will judge you here, we've all been there. First off: shettles was wrong. DTD with a cut off will make it harder to conceive, some women don;t conceive at all. And when they do and they are on a boy friendly lifestyle, the cut off is not going to sway pink. It will still be more likely be blue. DTD every other day also sways blue. Here they advice either to DTD every day OR (and I think this has better results) abstain for 7 days and then DTD once on OPK. It's all about reducing your fertility. Antihistamines like cetrizine will dry up your EWCM and it should sway pink. So def use it. Smoking also sways pink. But it also increases the chances of cancer for the baby. So I wouldn't use it as a sway-tactic. There is a lot of info on here about LE, timing, frequency etc. Take your time to read and absorb everything. If this is your last baby, you're going to want to give it a good shot and it will take a few weeks to get your body in a more pink friendly zone. Atomic also can make you a personalised plan. Good luck to you, I hope you'll get your little girl!

[Dana-Alicia]

Also I think there are very good results with exercise. Cardio for at least 60 mins a day, no power of muscle training, just straight forward cardio. But minimum of 60 mins a day is hard and not for everyone.

[Emily]

Do not try next weekend if this is your last baby. Read all the info and get a plan from atomic. There is so much to think about :

How often to BD,
Will DH abstain or frequent release
Other ways to lower sperm count - tight pants, hot baths etc
Are you going t take vitex, Saw P?
Diet,
Jump and dump?

Good luck. I am ecstatic to be having a girl and do not think I could have done it without this site.

[Bettycrocker]

Up again in the middle of the night reading away. I think the more I read the more confused I get.
So thank you for your messages. How do I get a plan from atomic? Is she a moderTor on here? Is it expensive?
So I'm under the impression that if we abstain for 7 days and then BD every 12-24 hrs, or is that incorrect? Vtex, saw p, I've never heard of them, I was going to take a calcium supplement but have been pit off by further reading.
I'm very scatty and busy by day with my 1 and 2 yr old... Was going to start Monday on a really low cal rice diet. I would love to speak to someone who needed simple and clear guidance for their sway. Getting in a real muddle about it all. Dana are you currently swaying? Emily congrats on your pink sway! Good luck xx

[Dana-Alicia]

I'm not swaying, I want to ensure gender 100% so I'll be doing IVF/PGD for gender selection in about 1,5 years. But am looking into swaying in the meantime in case it doesn't work for us. There's a board here where you can buy a personalized plan from Atomic. I think it's safe to say she's made it her lifework to research swaying, so if anyone knows what you should do, it's her. Swaying is not guaranteed, but it really does increase your odds of conceiving a girl. And if you want to abstain, you only DTD once when you have OPK. Because DTDing more than that can sway blue and you want pink. Please take your time and postpone ttc for a few months untill you have a good sway together. You want to give this last time a good shot!

[dollych]

Hi Bettycrocker and welcome!!,

First of all, dana-alicia is right, no one will judge you on here. Everyone is so nice and understanding, you have come to the right place!!
I am exactly like you, I have 2 sons and love them to bits, but feel guilty sometimes for wanting a daughter so bad.
My sons are 3 and 9 months old. I was so upset when I found out my second son was another Boy, I felt so bad for feeling like that, But I wanted a Girl so much. Now he is here, I wouldn't change him for the world, But I still want a daughter to complete our family.

I've been reading everything on here for months now and I agree with you, it's mind blowing, so I would deffo recommend a personalized plan off atomic. I've just bought one. I'm from the Uk as well and it worked out at about £50.
She's fab and recommends what supplements to take and when to DTD based on your lifestyle and health.
I would deffo stop TTC now and read up on things first before you attempt, if this is your last child. At least if you do a Pink sway, you will always feel that you gave it your best shot even if you do end up blessed with another Boy.
I'm starting the LE diet this weekend and going for our first attempt in December, So will be on the diet for 6 weeks. They recommend at least 6 weeks.
Hubby is just cutting out meat, fish and eggs for about a month and taking supplements. Liquorice root, magnesium and cranberry. I'm just taking folic acid, fibre supp and an antihistamine near OV. That is what atomic advised in my plan.
The LE diet info on here can also be mind blowing, so I would advise becoming a dream member, you can join on here and it gives you examples of the LE diet and what to eat. It wokrs out at about £7.
Hope this helps xx

[FJNT]

Hi there
I am also in the uk, and new to this site. I'm in exactly the same position with two gorgeous boys (only 15 months apart) but desperately longing for a girl. We have tried with the shettles method for 6 months now but nothing has happened. I'm only bding up to day 11 (ov day 14) but wandering if the information on here is more accurate. To be honest I'm confused about everything too - and we are even considering family balancing in Prague or Cyprus. Any info anyone can give me would be much appreciated. Good luck and let's stay in touch!

[dollych]

Hi FJNT!!,

There is a post on here somewhere about the shettles method, stating that it doesn't work. Have a look at it, it's really interesting.
I tried the shettles method same as you with my last baby, DTD on day 11 and 12 for 3 months and I didn't get pregnant that way. When I look back, my whole diet was boy friendly and I got pregnant with DS 2.
Have you read up about the LE diet?. Have a read and it will all make sense. Sorry, but I don't have time at the mo to find it and paste it on this post.

The LE diet and DTD at positive OPK has had a lot of success and ladies on here are pregnant with their princesses!!!

I know it's mind blowing trying to read everything on here at first and understanding it, so I would recommend getting a personalized plan off Atomic. I have and it eases the stress and pressure. She advises what supplements to take, what to do before your attempt e.t.c and offers a coaching service where you can ask her any questions at any time in your own private forum, it's fab!!.
Also, I am a dream member where you have access to the LE diet and meal plans/ tips. It has helped me plan my sway without reading everything on here when you don't have the time!!!
Good luck xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi only just now saw this, I will be back to reply first thing tomorrow

I would NOT attempt this month, at 34 you have a month to spare and I can better help you (you do not need a plan unless you would like one, I help everyone for free but it just takes me a little bit longer)