Considering gender swaying for a girl in 2016

[Girlieplease]

Hi everyone,

I am a 35 year old mum to three fantastic children. I have a DD and two DS. I had my DD first and did not try anything to get a girl just wanted to get pregnant. I was delighted with my healthy DD, I then got pregnant again when DD was 8 month, I knew nothing about swaying at this time. I welcomed DS1 9 months later, I then decided I wanted baby number three and really wanted a second DD, my DD also wanted a sister. I started to research swaying at that stage after a friend mentioned it to me. We planned to start trying in the October but I found out a few weeks after I started researching that I was pregnant, it was a total surprise and therefore unplanned. I had a very stressful pregnancy with DS2 due to mistakes by the hospital but welcomed a healthy DS2. My husband is happy with our family and I was happy to stop at 3, however,over the past six months I have been thinking alot about how I would really like another DD, my DD also complains that she does not have a sister, which upsets me. I am getting on in years and feel that I need to make a decision soon. My DH is not on board with the gender swaying idea, he is not against having another baby, though I would admit he is more on the side of not trying. He does not agree with trying to sway and as it is not certain that it will work he thinks it is not worth it.

I have so many questions:

This area/forum seems huge, where do I start?
If I have a DD conceived without swaying does that increase my odds of having one with swaying iyswim?
I am so confused as to whether to try or not? I worry about how I would feel about the baby if it was another boy and the impact it would have on DD to have another brother when she so wants a sister.
I am so torn between counting my blessing, I have three fantastic children, one of which is a girl and leaving it at that and thinking but what if...., I worry that because I now know that there is a method of increasing the odds of having a girl that later in life I will regret not trying?

Anyway sorry for the essay and I look forward to getting to know you ladies better, it will be lovely to have some company on this lonely place.
Ps: can someone tell me if this is not the appropriate part of the forum to post, is there a searching for advice part?

Thanks in advance

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi and welcome!! In my signature there is a link to the Complete Index which has the main essays by topic.

Swaying isn't a guarantee so if you can go into it with the attitude that it's just something that may help a little, it helps keep it all in perspective.

Many people actually ARE swaying, they just don't realize it. I suspect you probably had a diferent lifestyle before your daughter was conceived - our lives just tend to change after we have kids! Swaying never hurts, and may help, provided that you can keep it in perspective and not try and get everything "perfect". We have found that the more people try and obsess over having a "perfect sway", something about that makes opposites. So if you can treat it like a fun project then that is what will get you the best results.

You will fall in love with the baby when he/she is born. We all do. We all worry about how we will feel but we are their mothers, we do fall in love at first sight!! As for your daughter, while I'm sure she does want a sister, remember, we don't always get what we want in life and she will adjust. Many of us on here did want sisters when we were little and didn't get them, while many others DID get sisters and ended up not getting along with them anyway.

The one thing I will say about whether or not to try, is to consider that you do only have a small amount of time with your kids and pregnancy and baby do take up some of that time. It may end up taking time and attention away from your daughter and your sons to do all this, and there is always a chance of another boy anyway. It is best to go into this process firstly with the desire for another baby and not something that you do only because you want a baby of a certain gender. It is a difficult decision, please let me know how I can help!

[Girlieplease]

Thanks so much, your absolutely right about the lifestyle been different before I conceived my dd, she was conceived a month after my wedding and I lost alot of weight for wedding, though I gave up the diet after the wedding. I am much heavier now than I was, is there an idea weight for a girl sway or is it just impact of reducing the calories makes the body think not alot of food and favours girls? I don't really understand how the diet makes a difference after the egg is fertilised surely it is decided if a male or female sperm is the winning one? Thanks for the advice, is there a forum for people to chat to others that are attempting to sway, so people can move along the journey together? Is that what you pay for? Thanks, I am sure your right about the feelings that will emerge when baby is born, that is also a benefit of pregnancy taking so long it gives you time to prepare! Lots of food for thought! X

[atomic sagebrush]

We find better results with at least 6 weeks on diet so it does take more than a month to undo a diet/lifestyle that favors one gender over the other.

There's no magic weight for girls, you just do what you can do. Any weight loss helps. The more important thing is the diet as a whole and there is a lot more than just calories that matter - but we can go over all that over time.

What research has shown is that glucose levels may both aid in the conception of one gender vs. the other but also in survival/development of fertilized eggs. For about a week after fertilization, the blastocyst is floating around free in your tubes and uterus and it actually "eats" the glucose in your body fluid. XX favor low glucose, XY do better in moderate glucose environment, and so we just like to hedge our best and keep up with the diet for 7-10 days after fertilization has occured to hopefully improve the chances for our little XX's. Most babies of either gender do just fine in a wide array of environments, we're just trying to help our our XX's as much as we can to give them the best chance of development and implantation.

Additionally it's a good idea to keep up with diet after ovulation because you do not even know if you're pregnant then. So if you drop diet at ovulation every month, you're basically undoing your sway half the time . Our results show best rates of pink with 12 weeks or longer on diet, not 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off, but 12 actual weeks sticking to diet, so it doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense not to diet all month long.

Come join us in the TTC a girl forums! We have tons of fun there not only swaying but just hanging out! It's free!

[Girlieplease]

Thanks atomic sagebrush, I think nature my have intervened, I may be pregnant, think I am accidentally in the 2 ww, if I am I swayed blue with only a hint of pink! :-( x

[maidentomother]

Re: exact mechanism, we don't know and it hasn't been studied much, but my personal theory is that swaying affects the protein markers on the outside of eggs, making them more likely to allow X vs Y sperm to fertilize. I believe the egg "chooses" the gender, among other things .

[atomic sagebrush]

And my pet theory is more with the sperm that something in the female environment may send a signal to the sperm so that more X than Y capacitate. IT's fun to talk about but none of us really know, so we operate under the belief that doing what works for most of hte people, most of the time, is the soundest way to proceed.

[maidentomother]

And our theories aren't mutually exclusive so we could both be right.

Likely there are multiple mechanisms, beyond what we've even thought of.

[trifecta]

I always suspect pheromones play a role.

[atomic sagebrush]

And our theories aren't mutually exclusive so we could both be right.

Likely there are multiple mechanisms, beyond what we've even thought of.

It's probably like a dozen different things if not more. And that is why I like you guys to focus on doing the stuff that gets results instead of focusing on speculation. That gets ya into trouble as you can see on some of the other sites where they are SOOO sure that they have a handle on everything that they expend more time and energy chasing totally speculative, unproven theories (usually made by people who are profit off of them) then trying to find out what is actually working and then doing that.