Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14
  1. #1
    Dreamer

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    120
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    44 with failed cycle - straight to donor egg?

    Hey there, I'm new to this forum but just to quickly introduce myself, I'm 44 never had children with failed IUIs three times. Tried IVF with own eggs but failed with none to freeze. Right now, I'm wondering if I should go straight to donor eggs. Are there any ladies here who tried only one cycle then went straight to using donor eggs? I know our situations might be different but just hoping to shed light on a few things.

  2. #2
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Eastern Washington State, USA
    Posts
    108,134
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    I would absolutely completely and totally without any hesitation urge you to do donor eggs. At 44 your chances with your own eggs are slim, and as an older mom myself (had my daughter at 42) I must tell you that I feel the pressure of time acutely. I do worry that I won't have enough time with her, even with a normal lifespan of 80 years, let alone less. I hate to think of her getting married and having kids and I may not be able to there (or I may be not healthy enough to support her). But these are the realities to having kids in our 40's.

    I'm not trying to scare you, but my point is the chances are very slim you will succeed with your own eggs, and I would hate to see you take more time you could be young, vibrant, and raising your child on something that has a lower chance of success. A year or two can make all the difference in being there to dance at your child's wedding than not, and so I hate to see anyone throw away precious time on IVF that has pretty low chance of succeeding.

    Donor eggs are great - science has found that the maternal environment actually has a huge influence on what genes are expressed, so it's like you truly are a third genetic parent! I highly recommend them!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

  3. Likes Walkerbabies liked this post
  4. #3
    IVF Advice Coach
    nuthinbutpink's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    The Internet
    Posts
    24,567
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    6
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Hi there. I think it is a money question. If you can afford to try again with your own eggs, go for it. If you cannot keep spending on IVF or mentally cannot go through another negative cycle, look into DE. DE is a great option.
    Mom to

    and my IVF/PGD

    It's better to look back on life and say: "I can't believe I did that" than to look back and say "I wish I did that".

    New to IVF/PGD for Family Balancing? Read this- Understanding IVF/PGD- a HT Guide for those New to the IVF/PGD Process

    Need a Natural Swaying Plan? Naturally sway for a boy or a girl- Personalized Swaying Plans

    Become a Dream Member to access the private forums

  5. #4
    Dreamer

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    120
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    I would absolutely completely and totally without any hesitation urge you to do donor eggs. At 44 your chances with your own eggs are slim, and as an older mom myself (had my daughter at 42) I must tell you that I feel the pressure of time acutely. I do worry that I won't have enough time with her, even with a normal lifespan of 80 years, let alone less. I hate to think of her getting married and having kids and I may not be able to there (or I may be not healthy enough to support her). But these are the realities to having kids in our 40's.

    I'm not trying to scare you, but my point is the chances are very slim you will succeed with your own eggs, and I would hate to see you take more time you could be young, vibrant, and raising your child on something that has a lower chance of success. A year or two can make all the difference in being there to dance at your child's wedding than not, and so I hate to see anyone throw away precious time on IVF that has pretty low chance of succeeding.

    Donor eggs are great - science has found that the maternal environment actually has a huge influence on what genes are expressed, so it's like you truly are a third genetic parent! I highly recommend them!
    That is true and you're right, we don't have the luxury of time. We're searching for donors now. They referred us to an agency, but should I try searching on my own? Actually, I'm still trying to process the idea, I'm feeling overwhelmed.

  6. #5
    Dreamer

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    120
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink View Post
    Hi there. I think it is a money question. If you can afford to try again with your own eggs, go for it. If you cannot keep spending on IVF or mentally cannot go through another negative cycle, look into DE. DE is a great option.
    Yes, money is a bit tight. If only there is a step-by-step to do list for this for I certainly need one!

  7. Likes atomic sagebrush liked this post
  8. #6
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Eastern Washington State, USA
    Posts
    108,134
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Walkerbabies View Post
    That is true and you're right, we don't have the luxury of time. We're searching for donors now. They referred us to an agency, but should I try searching on my own? Actually, I'm still trying to process the idea, I'm feeling overwhelmed.
    I honestly don't know the answer to this, can anyone help???
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

  9. #7
    Dreamer

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    120
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Hi Atomic, I've been fence sitting for so long. Plus didn't get much motivation with the pandemic. But we have chosen a clinic overseas already for DE. The clinic is helping us provide and choose the donor. Thank you for the encouragement.

  10. Likes atomic sagebrush liked this post
  11. #8
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Eastern Washington State, USA
    Posts
    108,134
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    That is WONDERFUL! Keep us posted!!!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

  12. #9
    Dreamer

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    120
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Hi finally starting our cycle this March. Egg donation at 46! Our clinic in Cyprus, Dunya IVF, provided the donor. Wish us luck!

  13. #10
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Eastern Washington State, USA
    Posts
    108,134
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Oh that's fantastic news, Walker! Good luck!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •