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  1. #1
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    Happy New here (trigger warning for loss)

    Hello everyone! I thought I would finally introduce myself here (I think my account is now activated).

    So, I'm 27, European married to a Brit and living in the UK! At the moment I'm not looking to sway myself (well, I can't yet, I'm pregnant!) but I find it fascinating and LOVE the amount of detail on this forum. It's the best and most comprehensive (and most honest!) swaying resource I've found on the whole internet.

    I do have experience with swaying, but I wouldn't say I paid attention to every aspect. I just didn't know much about it! I also found out that some of the aspects I did pay attention to are actually debunked. I honestly think that our successful sways were mostly down to luck.

    I've always had a feeling I wanted three kids, possibly four if the circumstances allow it. And I've always wanted a boy first and then a girl, for some reason! But I really just want a mixed family more than anything else. My husband feels very similar about this.

    I had our first baby, indeed a son, when I was 25, after having one early loss before him. I focused on dense nutrition, salty foods (but not too processed) and we had two BDs on two days in a row in my fertile window - the second BD was on the day I had a positive OPK. I also used PreSeed because I read it swayed boy. Anyway, that's how we made him and he is now 32 months old and is absolutely wonderful! I had no meat whatsoever when we conceived him, just fish (quit eating meat several years before I conceived him).

    So, as I said, I really wanted our second baby to be a daughter. Unfortunately it has not been an easy ride. First I had a missed miscarriage, then I decided to be more serious about swaying girl. I read about the high magnesium and calcium and low sodium and potassium diet. Although I didn't eat any dairy and soya products (due to thyroid antibodies after my first was born), so I got most calcium from my prenatal vitamin, I did sneak in a lot of magnesium, especially with the magnesium spray I used. I also ate chicken and salmon every week when we next conceived, and I was still taking cod liver oil daily (even more than with my son). I did however eat breakfast really late, as I baked most mornings to get gluten-free stuff on the table. I also took ashwagandha daily, which apparently sways boy (didn't take it with my son), and I had collagen powder in drinks multiple times a week (same as my son)... Well, then I was fertile, we had sex with Sylk lubricant one day before my positive OPK and one day after, with one day in between. This became our girl. Unfortunately, I developed a SCH in this pregnancy. I had severe bleeding episodes throughout the first trimester. Our baby somehow kept growing well, but around 14 weeks it went wrong and we lost her. It was completely devastating and she looked just perfect. We did genetic testing to get some closure and this confirmed our baby was a genetically healthy girl.

    After losing our daughter we had one more loss, but it happened very early on. This was our 'one attempt' girl sway and my husband also abstained for six days beforehand. He was 38 at the time, so apparently not a good idea at his age, I learnt... We then decided to take a break from TTC and do some more miscarriage testing. I was still following the 'girl diet' (had breakfast late and even cut out chicken, also reduced my fish intake). I also gave up ashwagandha and started taking cinnnamon more often. For a while I had been taking calcium pills in preparation for swaying girl, as I thought it might help, but then I read that this should actually be avoided according to most information, so I stopped... I have to admit my husband and I weren't doing a lot to prevent conception at this point, we just tried to avoid doing the deed in my fertile window. Until we got carried away, took a risk and lo and behold I end up ovulating earlier than normal. Long story short, I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant with this surprise baby. It happens to be another boy. I actually lost weight in the months before we conceived him and was bordering on underweight! I don't regret getting pregnant, but I wish we had not done two BDs in a row (like with our first son). I was upset about this for a while. Maybe it was always going to be a boy, but now we'll never know. Anyway, it is what it is, at the end of the day we knew we were taking a risk as we didn't use protection! We love this boy and we're excited to meet him.

    I'm still struggling a lot with the loss of our girl and people who get a daughter after a son trigger me a lot on social media (not so much on swaying forums). I honestly feel like I will never get over this loss and that only having another daughter will ease the pain. As long as everything goes well with this new baby (we still need to meet him after all), I'm prepared to sway with two more babies. I think there is a lot more I can try with diet/nutrition. I really think I have a tendency to take too many supplements, even when we were successful with our girl sway last year. I'm excited to try adding some coffee and alcohol when we sway girl again in the future, and I'll probably also look into purchasing a swaying plan. I love getting deeper into this now so I can sway in a more relaxed way when the time is right, hopefully in a year or two! I know there are no guarantees, but I'm still very hopeful we can have a biological daughter by swaying. Hopefully we won't have so many losses in the future because I do worry about that too (fingers crossed)...

    Anyway, see you all on this forum!
    Last edited by Naiad; October 10th, 2021 at 10:49 AM.

  2. #2
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Oh gosh how heartbreaking, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss.

    The first thing we need to do is to get you off of everything that may have contributed to the SCH, because people often have them in more than one pregnancy. Magnesium, ashwagandha, and most especially cod liver oil are all strong blood thinners and even if you weren't taking all of them during pregnancy, the effects can last for a while. I strongly suggest dropping ashwagandha totally, using no more than the equivalent of 200 mg magnesium a day, and no more than 250 mg fish oil of any kind.

    YOU MUST NOT TAKE CINNAMON with your history of SCH. Not only for the sake of any future pregnancy, but also for your own sake, because you have a history of being a) underweight and b) proof that your blood is on the thinner side (which, most young and slim women's blood IS quite thin to start with.) There is absolutely no reason for you to use cinnamon in the future. You are not in the medical category I would ever use this for.

    I really do want to second what you're saying about a tendency to take too many supplements. Not only might supplements sway blue, and beyond that are notorious for delaying or even stopping ovulation, but when it comes to people who have experienced losses, an important minority of the people who are taking high doses of various things, and/or herbal supplements, are experiencing that. By important minority I mean, of course there are other causes of losses, but there's a hefty chunk of people taking the most supplements who are having these types of losses, particularly where SCH is is concerned. PLEASE run past any supplement (even if it seems harmless, like peppermint tea) by me first. You won't read on any labels, you won't read this on herb sites, there is no earthly way for you to know any of this, but I PROMISE this is a real thing happening to many many people and I don't want you to have to go through such a heartbreaking thing ever ever again.

    Weight loss has (as you may have guessed, LOL) not been terribly predictive of whose sways work and whose don't. We would want to make some changes in terms of diet, exercise, lifestyle, and starting off with that one attempt to hopefully get you that girl you're dreaming of. I'm happy to help however I can, awaiting your questions!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  3. #3
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    Thank you so much! Yes, it was so heartbreaking to lose a healthy baby after making it to the second trimester and having the desired gender. It's definitely the hardest thing I've ever gone through. The only 'comfort' I've taken from this loss is that I know full well we are able to make girls, but that's not a guarantee for the future...

    In hindsight, I definitely used a lot of blood thinners, I didn't think all the things you mentioned were known blood thinners! I did stop taking ashwagandha just before I got the BFP in my girl pregnnacy, I read it wasn't safe for pregnancy. Something about uterine contractions. I never stopped taking the CLO though and I also kept using magnesium.

    With my current pregnancy, I was already completely off ashwagandha, but still taking CLO. I also stopped taking the cinnamon after my BFP. I don't think I've been taking a lot of magnesium this time actually, only since last month again because I have bad leg cramps at night. Like you say, you so often read that women with a history of SCHs get them again and I've been terrified up until 16 weeks or so! That's when I finally started thinking I'm in the clear for SCHs this time. I feel lucky not to have a SCH with this baby. The bleeding alone was traumatic when we lost our daughter.

    Good to know about cinnamon, I'll definitely leave it out with any pregnancies from now on!

    Lol, indeed, I did start thinking that maybe losing weight (which wasn't on purpose actually) didn't mean that much after all!
    naiad
    /ˈnʌɪad/

    noun
    1. (in classical mythology) a water nymph said to inhabit a river, spring, or waterfall.


    2018 - miscarriage
    2019 - successful boy sway (birth )
    2020 - miscarriage
    2020 - successful girl sway (second trimester loss )
    2021 - miscarriage
    2021 - surprise pregnancy boy! (pregnant )

    praying for a new daughter in our future

  4. #4
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    I can't even imagine how painful that must have been. I'm so sorry.

    Everyone is able to make girls, but I know many people do find it reassuring when they see proof of it firsthand.

    That's the problem with blood thinners - there are SO many things that thin the blood, and no one is studying the interactions to see what the results are. 99.9% of people, even medical professionals, remain completely unaware of any danger in the practice of mixing up these herbs and fish oil and high doses of certain vitamins and so you guys are left all on your own with no proper guidance (and indeed, even poor guidance many times as various natural medicine "experts" will tell you to take huge doses of things that are downright dangerous.)

    I'm curious what the dose on the cod liver oil is? We may be able to have you take some form of fatty acid supplement during pregnancy for the sake of the baby's health (and your own) but just at a much smaller dose.

    It's not a great idea to take these things and stop at BFP. The reason for this is that your body tries very hard to compensate for those blood thinners by making lots of extra clotting factors. Then when you stop the blood thinners suddenly, your body doesn't realize that for a while and then keeps making them - this can make your blood clot TOO easily, which is also not a desirable state of affairs. So your body then tries to thin out the blood more again, and it can waver back and forth between too clotty and too thin for a time before it settles in to a good place. This is why I strongly suggest always weaning off blood thinners (honestly, for the rest of your life whenever you're taking a blood thinning medication or supplement, it's best to taper off) and when you take something up till pregnancy, give yourself 2-3 weeks to come off it (even if you have to take it during pregnancy for a couple weeks). Avoid things that absolutely cannot be taken in pregnancy if you have to wean off them.

    The weight loss can help some people but it's just not the end-all, be all that people think, and for some people it's much better to hold steady on weight.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

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  5. #5
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    Yes, I suppose the proof helps reaffirm that knowledge! I can't ever think that we 'just can't make girls', even in a moment of doubt.

    It's scary stuff when you think about it, all those blood thinning effects! The dose of cod liver oil is 1 teaspoon per day.

    What you say makes perfect sense actually, I can see how it would be much better to go off things gradually. It's probably a shock to the system otherwise! Thank you for the advice.
    naiad
    /ˈnʌɪad/

    noun
    1. (in classical mythology) a water nymph said to inhabit a river, spring, or waterfall.


    2018 - miscarriage
    2019 - successful boy sway (birth )
    2020 - miscarriage
    2020 - successful girl sway (second trimester loss )
    2021 - miscarriage
    2021 - surprise pregnancy boy! (pregnant )

    praying for a new daughter in our future

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  7. #6
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    It really is quite scary and scarier still that no one is keeping track of it all.

    In most cases (depending on the formulation of the CLO - it may be thinned with some other ingredient) that would be quite a high dose, well over 1000 mg and most sources I'm finding are saying it's more like 4000 mg (that's a terrifyingly large amount). I know it's weird just this little spoonful of something, but our bodies need just a smidge of it so we measure in MG. I would have you take no more than 500 and 250 is likely better, during pregnancy.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

  8. #7
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    Thank you, I'll definitely keep that into account from now on! The bottle recommended 5 tsp per day, but I truly had never thought much about it. It's crazy that these things aren't mentioned on the package - especially when you imagine people on blood thinning medications might be taking them too!
    naiad
    /ˈnʌɪad/

    noun
    1. (in classical mythology) a water nymph said to inhabit a river, spring, or waterfall.


    2018 - miscarriage
    2019 - successful boy sway (birth )
    2020 - miscarriage
    2020 - successful girl sway (second trimester loss )
    2021 - miscarriage
    2021 - surprise pregnancy boy! (pregnant )

    praying for a new daughter in our future

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