DH's opinion

[Adia]

For those of you whose hubbies won't discuss it, here's what I did: I planned my sway anyway. He knows I take no birth control so it's just a matter of dtd on the right days. I don't bring it up anymore and he rolls his eyes and says " I can't believe I let you seduce me again."

Silent submission means GO FOR IT!! Woohoo for you!

[Wanting-a-girl]

That's the way to do it for some reason men a very scred of any change it's ridiculous

[Wanting-a-girl]

I don't take birth control either so he knows if he doesn't put a condom on there is a risk even on my supposed safe days

[Typical_Jules]

We were only going to have 2, a boy and a girl. We had 2 boys, dh asked for a third, he wanted a daughter. I was happy to oblige. Then ibtalked him into number 4 and 5 lol. Well number 5 isn't with us yet

[4devochki]

Zivic, this is a great topic.

DH was convinced, with difficulty, to try for #3 after we had our 2 girls. We didn't sway, and were doing IVF due to my fertility problems (injuries when I was younger). And we got...twin girls. When I got the test results I cried but then I laughed and that's been the way of things for 5 years now--intense joy mixed with grief. DH says he's capital D DONE--twins, as I'm sure many of you know, are a real arse-kicker. Ours have just now reached the age of doing things for themselves, and fulltime school; they've become good travelers so life is easier.

A couple of years ago DH said he might be willing to consider adoption, which is really my dream way to add a little boykins to our family. But now there are a million excuses, and it seems like if life is not perfectly smooth and stress-free (not a big chance of that with 4 kids) then he's unwilling to actually go through with it. Every year that goes by makes me sadder and sadder that my chances of raising a son are becoming slimmer and slimmer.

DH doesn't really get what makes me so sad, and is frustrated with me that I can't be happy with the riches we do have, our 4 fantastic girls. And he in truth despite his intense work is a really very involved, participatory father. It's not the money with him (though saving for retirement and university is an issue), so much as the time and logistics and increasing the general level of hubub/chaos/rambunctiousness in the house. I see it all as a joyful noise; for him it can be too much.

So there we are. I think I will continue to bring it up in a loving way, and maybe try to point out more the way family life does work well and smoothly more and more (his response will be "let's keep it that way.").

[4devochki]

We were only going to have 2, a boy and a girl. We had 2 boys, dh asked for a third, he wanted a daughter. I was happy to oblige. Then ibtalked him into number 4 and 5 lol. Well number 5 isn't with us yet

Gosh darn, Jules, you must be some talker! Throw me some lines!

[Zivic-Bubac]

-intense joy mixed with grief.

Yes, yes absolutely this! Although in my case is more intense grief mixed with some joy. Моја проста душа славјанска.

[Princess of Pink]

My DH didn't want anymore after #1 lol. He thought it was all too much work and he doesn't much like the baby stage. Now they bare all here he just adores them and they are the centre of his universe! So I know he will be the same with #6 even though he thinks I'm crazy to go back to nappies and crying babies again. I just have this longing for one last baby!

But really if he was adamant no more then he would insist on protection and he never has!

[WantingPink]

My DH only wanted two kids. Well, before we got married I told him that if I didn't have a boy and a girl then I would want to try for #3. Some how he "forgot" about that. I have been on him for 2 years now. His says there isn't enough money, we need a different car, I want a spare bedroom, blah blah blah. We have a 4 bedroom house, could finish the basement, I am at SAHM, I have a car that seats 8, etc. So then he said he didn't want to go though the baby thing anymore and he wants to travel and go on vacation with the kids (uuummm... thought we didn't have any money?). Well, the baby thing only lasts a couple of years??

This Christmas he kept asking me what I want for Christmas (I always get him something really good) so all I kept saying I wanted was for him to stop fighting with me about having another baby!! I never did say that I wanted anything but that. Well... not sure if he planned this or not but we DTD right around O without using anything and two weeks later I was PG. He gave me my Christmas gift right before xmas Now wait until I tell him that three is an odd number and we need 4

[Typical_Jules]

Gosh darn, Jules, you must be some talker! Throw me some lines!

I started talking when I was pregnant, you know, get it in to his head! He didn't really respond, after Aaron was born he said yes! he loves kids and comes from a big family, so that helped