DH's opinion

[Lassie1982]

My DH was always adamant that 2 was his limit, no ifs, no buts. He even started investigating vasectomy's when I fell pregnant.
Me, I always wanted 3 or 4.
After we found out this baby is a boy, and after much begging and tears from me, he agreed to NOT getting a vasectomy just yet.
He too has a rather strong desire for a daughter, not as strong as mine, but as strong as a mans can be I think.
Anyway, he has gone from 'no way, never' to 'maybe, we'll see' in regards to a third.
In my heart of hearts I think he will agree to a third, but I have no hope of a 4th!
I am worried about eventually trying though.
If it was a boy I don't know how I would cope.
I think the gd would consume me, primarily because I know that 3 is it, no more chances, dream lost forever.
I didn't really have any gd this time round at all, but I think that's because the door is still open, but once that door is closed.....I don't know

[Lassie1982]

I was thinking to use this

I made that comment off the cuff once to DH.
DH's response was "please explain all the children that die of malnourishment and poverty in third world countries, and please also explain to me why the children in Bidwell/Shalvey** walk around half naked, with no shoes, scouring bins and dumpster for food??"

I had no response, so won't be using that one again.

I try to remind DH of his own childhood, his parents were poor, and he was one of 4, they never went without anything, and DH had a perfectly happy childhood by his own admission, when I use that to try and persuade him, he comes out with the 'I never had a single item of new clothing, even my undies were hand me downs, I never once had a new toy, never.....and I don't want that for my children' I can't imagine that we would ever be that hard up, but oh well.


I really don't have any comebacks to dh's financial concerns, we could afford 3, even 4, but it would mean going without the finer things in life, holidays, our pets, take away once a week, nice clothes, music lessons and tutoring, those sorts of things, the little things that all add up. DH does place an importance on those, and so do I to some extent, but its like I have this primal urge to have a daughter, no sense, logic, or reason can turn off that insane yearing I have.





**Bidwell/Shalvey is a suburb in Sydney which is very impoverished, it's a housing commission suburb, so it's inhabitants are unemployed, and often addicted to drugs, they do all seem to have very many children (5+ per family) who sadly are very much neglected, left to their own devices, and many don't have their basic needs met.

[Little Lunasa]

Hi ladies, hope you dont mind me joining in, this is a great thread!

My dh was against trying for a third, with money and our age being his main reasons (hes 43, Im 42) but I managed to persuade him by arguing that we were fit and healthy and that the money situation was a temporary blip (Ireland is in the grip of a terrible recession at the moment but fx it wont last forever)
Am now planning on swaying pink (ish) in the next few months

[Pink rose]

Hi Little Lunisa - just looking at your profile I'm from Ireland to. We have 2 ds & my gd is unbearable at times I just want it to disappear so as I can feel at peace. Dh said no more after ds1 was born (I had different ideas) ds2 was born 2 years later. I was told by a midwife she thought I was having a girl - stupit enough I believed her ( I felt like I fell from grace when I was handed ds2 ). I loved him but was numb my dream for a daughter was over. Dh has now agreed to go high tech - he would rather we swayed but I couldn't take the gd again. I can't believe I talked him into it he's so level headed,just says I will do what you need to do to get a girl. He dosent realise the process, thinks we go away, get a girl & that's final! We aren't rich I think he just saw the effect gd has with me & wants me to experience a daughter. I can't believe he's agreed to this from a man who only wanted 1child now going high tech for no 3. It did take a lo of work persuading him & he's not happy about the money but he's coming round I just keep saying he needs a daughter to.

[atomic sagebrush]

I thought giving vitamins and omega oils etc, was swaying boy!!! I was going to give DH folic acid and was told to hold off doing it..

Zivic was swaying blue, so that's why she took those vitamins

[1+2+3boys]

Gosh, isn't it silly how some partners/husbands refuse to co-operate with swaying and then don't want another when there is a good chance you wouldn't even be wanting another anyway if he had!
My partner wants another so I am lucky but I only ever wanted three to begin with. He would not cooperate in the slightest with swaying when I asked him. He said it is a load of bullsh*t and that we should just have our 2nd child and he promised he would sway for our number three if it was a boy. I agreed knowing it would be cos he already had 4 sons including our first. What I didn't know was that we would be having TWINS! So two of my goes were used up at once.
Deep down I knew they would be boys and I worried about it every day and I wanted that gender scan to come so much that it physically hurt. I wanted a girl so much that I felt I was carrying girls but I wasn't. So I partly blame him that we have to go have another. I would not if I had a girl already so he may have been the one pestering me because he always said he would like a soccar team! No way, this one will be the last no matter what and this time he will do the hell WHAT I SAY! He has agreed but only to indulge me, not because he thinks it will actually work. But I have to know for myself. I think I will regret not trying and if it's another boy there is no way I would regret it because he will be our baby and I am starting to feel clucky anyway. I also wanted three pregnancies and feel a strong urge to go through that magical journey all again

[desperate4blue]

Hi Little Lunisa - just looking at your profile I'm from Ireland to. We have 2 ds & my gd is unbearable at times I just want it to disappear so as I can feel at peace. Dh said no more after ds1 was born (I had different ideas) ds2 was born 2 years later. I was told by a midwife she thought I was having a girl - stupit enough I believed her ( I felt like I fell from grace when I was handed ds2 ). I loved him but was numb my dream for a daughter was over. Dh has now agreed to go high tech - he would rather we swayed but I
couldn't take the gd again. I can't believe I talked him into it he's so level headed,just says I will do what you need to do to get a girl. He dosent realise the process, thinks we go away, get a girl & that's final! We aren't rich I think he just saw the effect gd has with me & wants me to experience a daughter. I can't believe he's agreed to this from a man who only wanted 1child now going high tech for no 3. It did take a lo of work persuading him & he's not happy about the money but he's coming round I just keep saying he needs a daughter to.

Hi PinkRose

Im in exactly the same boat as u.
I had my 3rd dd last year and my hubby saw me at an all time low!
Bless him he has agreed to go hi tech and im thinking of
Going to genesis cyprus. Never been to cyprus before.
I havr been researching and boy it all seem like hard work especially
Taking the injectiond; needles scare me!
Please advise where u r thinking of going?

[Pink rose]

I'm am deciding between genesis cyprus & **** prague. It is very hard decision to make as **** is only opened & I haven't read many success stories about them yet. Dr Declan Keane works in a clinic in Dublin - he works with **** does all tests bloods etc here & you go to Prague 5 days for the final part of the treatment. My dh likes the idea of having a doctor to discuss everything with if we go to genesis we do the whole thing on our own ( they have a sperm sort which would help us get more girls). Hopefully we try this summer I do need to get a move on & make my decision. I can't help but feel a void & emptiness in my everyday life without a daughter. I understand how you feel I'm just hoping & praying this works I couldn't sway & risk the depression again I'm scared of it. Hightech does scare me I'm terrified of needles but if it works I will be worth it. Sorry for the long post & if there's anything I can help you wih feel free to ask! X

[XXdreaming]

Dh said #4 was our last, long story infection crossed womb, i was feverish because of it, ds4 born feverish lethargic and difficulty breathing X-ray showed pneumonia(10 day in nicu and healthy whole now) but they refused to do my tubal then come back in 6 weeks and then at 3weeks had an emergency gall bladder removal and I didn't want to be cut on anymore haha so I never went back, had an oops ended in m/c, then another oops ended in m/c and then I think dh felt sorry for me because he still said no more but then he would have unprotected sex and we end up pregnant which ended in another m/c and then he was on board because i promised it would be our last and will do some permanent sterilization lol but I am ready I want off this roller coaster and just sadly accept if its another boy I will never have a daughter, but dh won't sway either because he thinks we are all crazy lol this baby stuck and healthy and i am gonna try to be happy that out of 11 pregnancies only these 5 were strong enough to make it and so be it if its 5 boys :/

So in other words the ONLY reason there is a #5 is because they refused my tubal and then I promised dh I would get fixed if he gave me one more

[Little Lunasa]

Hi Little Lunisa - just looking at your profile I'm from Ireland to. We have 2 ds & my gd is unbearable at times I just want it to disappear so as I can feel at peace. Dh said no more after ds1 was born (I had different ideas) ds2 was born 2 years later. I was told by a midwife she thought I was having a girl - stupit enough I believed her ( I felt like I fell from grace when I was handed ds2 ). I loved him but was numb my dream for a daughter was over. Dh has now agreed to go high tech - he would rather we swayed but I couldn't take the gd again. I can't believe I talked him into it he's so level headed,just says I will do what you need to do to get a girl. He dosent realise the process, thinks we go away, get a girl & that's final! We aren't rich I think he just saw the effect gd has with me & wants me to experience a daughter. I can't believe he's agreed to this from a man who only wanted 1child now going high tech for no 3. It did take a lo of work persuading him & he's not happy about the money but he's coming round I just keep saying he needs a daughter to.

Hi Pink Rose!
Sorry only saw your post now, wow you're so lucky to have the opportunity to go high tech, would love to if we could afford it. I totally understand your GD, it's been simmering under the surface with me for a while. Time is against me and need to get on with it now that the biggest obstacle is past (dh). When are you planning on ttc and where are you going high tech if you don't mind me asking?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk