DH's opinion

[Zivic-Bubac]

How does your DH feel about 'just one more baby'?

Does he feel he is: too old for this s***/done/unprepared for one more?

My DH told me not to even joke about No4, but he'll come to his senses He is a good man who dearly loves our daughters so he will love our son as well. He has that 'man type' thoughts, like money, space, bigger car, time etc.

Also, what worries me more, his sex drive is so low, it's been a big problem during TTC process It is just too much for him to BD every 3-4 days, let alone 2 days. It wasn't like that when we dated and got married... I realize he works a lot and feels exhausted, but I do everything in the house and with the kids. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.

My sex drive is low as well, so it doesn't bother me in non-TTC time lol. He is a year younger then me, 39. I wonder will he have any strength in less then a year when we TTC again.

For this failed sway I was giving him l-carnitine, l-arginine, zinc, CoQ-10, vit.E, Omega 3-6 and I probably forgot something. He is overweight, love sweets, rarely eats fruits and veggies, doesn't drink or smoke. No exercise except basketball for 1 hour once a week.

He doesn't cooperate in swaying

[Mum23boys]

Ha ha ha my DH WAS adament no more - never ever ever !!! In the end bribery worked - I promised him if he got me pregnant he could have a sports car ( we used to have one and sold it when we had our 1st child ) - we cant afford one but i figured i could save for the next 10 years - i didnt say how soon he could have one !!! ha ha
Anyway after 3 months of persistence he finally backed down - i dont think he is really happy about the whole idea but he si doing it cos he knows its what i want and thats why i so desperately want to give him the daughter he has always longed for.

[pebmcpd7]

For this failed sway I was giving him l-carnitine, l-arginine, zinc, CoQ-10, vit.E, Omega 3-6 and I probably forgot something. He is overweight, love sweets, rarely eats fruits and veggies, doesn't drink or smoke. No exercise except basketball for 1 hour once a week.
He doesn't cooperate in swaying

I thought giving vitamins and omega oils etc, was swaying boy!!! I was going to give DH folic acid and was told to hold off doing it..

[cvd]

Aw man! I almost wish Dh was like that lol!!!
We are only preg with our second but I am ADAMANT this is it!!!!! I am an only child and NEVER wanted kids of my own. I love my DS to bits and I am so glad to have our second on the wat but as a single child, my patience... Well lets say I have room for growth lol! I can handle 2 but I think I'd go crazy with more. DH IS INSANELY adamant about 3!!!! This is it for me, I swear he will never give up. We are only 9 weeks preg and he's already planning things for number THREE lol he is almost like the wife in this relationship but I already told him he's getting the snip once this baby is born hehehe!!! If I was up for it, DH would want to birth a hockey team of his own.

[Dreamofpink]

Can we swap DHs CVD????!!!!!!!!!!! I talked mine into trying for number 3 just now, but I've my heart set on four altogether! He'd be happy with two.

[Mrs_Incredible]

My dh wasn't too keen although the fact he hadn't talked about the snip made me think he wasn't done either. He desperatley wants a daughter too but if I was done I think he could live with it without it being an 'issue' - however I feel we have one more shot at it and I would always regret not trying. However 4 kids worries me, I think life is pretty hectic, and I worry I am failing the kids I have by not being super mum!! I was worried there as he did say no the week we finally had the 'talk' and he agreed we would have one more before the snip!! xx

[Mrs_P]

Yeah my dh is pretty much like yours - practicalities and he said no more after ds3. But i am lucky in that he loves me and wants me to be happy and saw how much it was affecting me and how strong my desire was and he gave in (although tbh as i have said on another thread before unless its a outright no with him its more a case of how much i want it and how much i bug him before he says yes - although if he says no he means it and he has only ever done this to be twice in 11 years) something i may well regret when i hear ds4 as he won't say yes again.

They are also more likely to say yes when the baby phase has finished and they've forgotten how hard it is (even though i do all the work he still moaned about the sleepless nights )

If its something that is that important to you (which from reading your posts you seem like me and the answer is yes) keep at it - you won't regret the kids you do have (especially having seen how gorgeous your girls are) but you may regret the one you don't have. Sending you all my blue baby dust, just in case x

[coocoobananas]

My dh is totally fine me going for 4... He only wanted 2 but he is fine if that's what I need to do I actually wish he wouldn't say that and told him so as I don't want 4 kids and him leaving that door open makes me think having another try... But I can't go through this again, the gd. I will only do ht and he is totally against that do I sm going to try my hardest to let the dream go

[myGirl]

My DH doesn't want a 4th either. He gives me the guilt trip about robbing our boys of money and opportunities if we have another. He wants the boys to have every opportunity (club soccer, summer camps, vacations, etc.) and a baby would take all our extra money and time. I totally disagree! We have a 4 bedroom house (one of the bedrooms sits empty since 2 of the boys share!), a minivan and I'm a SAHM. I told him I would go back to work in a couple years to help us financially, but he would rather I went back to work now to provide more opportunities for our kids (and stop dreaming of a baby!).

I'm so frustrated with him because after DS3 was born he promised me we'd try for #4. Now he is so happy and content with his 3 boys he wants to change his mind. And he is as stubborn as a mule!

The only way I have been ttc with him is through bribery. He is always up for dtd, and he can't resist garters and high heels LOL. I guess I'm lucky he has a high sex drive, but that's probably why we have boys. Every month he warns me that he's going to make an appointment to get the snip. My next move is to promise him he can buy the fishing boat he's always wanted if I get pg.

I'm a firm believer that God provides, and no matter how many kids we have we'll be a happy family with everything we need. But I'm starting to get worried that its not in Gods plan for me to have a 4th because it hasn't happened in 8 months of trying. I know it's my age, and I've been trying to be patient, take some supps for egg health and just pray like crazy.

Anyone have any comebacks for the money argument against having more kids?

[myGirl]

I thought giving vitamins and omega oils etc, was swaying boy!!! I was going to give DH folic acid and was told to hold off doing it..

Pebmcp, Zivic is a boy swayer, so her supps are different than ours

Zivic, have you looked into Maca root for your DH? I am taking it for fertility (because I want a baby of either gender at this point) and it has done wonders for my energy level and ovulation. It is a natural fertility superfood and is supposed to increase sperm count in men.