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About ocean

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About ocean
Northeast USA
Reading, writing, movies, cuddling with my kiddos
Over-educated, full-time working mom
Hoping for a Boy or Girl?
Dreaming Girl or Boy?:
Dreaming Girl


2 sweet, beautiful boys, 6 and 2
for getting my
DW 39, DH 41
Cycle #1 late 2013: 17 eggs, 12 mature, all fertilized, 4 EB batched
Cycle #2 early 2014: 9 eggs, 8 mature, all fertilized, 2 EB.
Day 5 aCGH testing. 1 normal XY (1st cycle) and 2 normal XX (one from each)!
Summer 2014 SET #1 - zero beta
Cycle #3 late 2014 - 13 eggs, 11 mature, 10 fertilized, none made it to testing.
SET #2 - Cancelled
SET #3 - Cancelled

Dream until your dreams come true - Hopeanddreamg's avatar

Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. - Sir Winston Churchill

Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again. - KT Witten

You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination. - Ralph Marston


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General Information
Last Activity
July 4th, 2019 08:30 PM
Join Date
March 13th, 2013

7 Friends

  1. Adia Adia is offline

    Dream Vet

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    Almost Complete
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  4. Jany1025 Jany1025 is offline

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View ocean's Blog

Recent Entries

Avoiding GDe Triggers… and other safety warnings

by ocean on May 16th, 2015 at 12:18 PM
Here's what's working for me this month. I'm in a much better place now, but I'm still human and GDe triggers can distract me from my happiness.

1. No royal baby stuff. I check less now and close the page if there's a royal baby mention. I don't read royal baby threads on this site. In good news, where I live, interest quickly waned.

2. Keep my eyes on my own children, esp when I'm out with them. I've been saying this for a while but actually DOING

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Updated May 21st, 2015 at 08:05 AM by ocean


How deep GDe travels (and for DH, too)

by ocean on March 11th, 2015 at 10:38 PM
DH and I had a 'talk' last night. I was feeling very, very down about the upcoming FET and I didn't hold back when he asked what was wrong. He said "Is this all because you want a daughter THAT much?" which of course stung, especially since we're a couple years into this effort.

But later he said what he keeps thinking about is that he couldn't 'give me a girl' and that it's his fault this is all happening. My DH is the sweetest, strongest, most devoted DH and daddy,

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Updated March 12th, 2015 at 02:01 PM by ocean


Deep dread for FET #2

by ocean on March 10th, 2015 at 10:05 PM
Woke up this morning with a heavy heart. You know that feeling….the head-bowing, rounded shoulder, already-sunk feeling that takes up your whole chest.

I'm preparing for FET #2. I'm not really imagining any outcome right now - it working or not - because the first I can't believe is possible, and the second makes me want to throw up.

If it doesn't work, there will be so very much to regret. If it does work…. well, I can't even complete the sentence. That path

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Updated March 11th, 2015 at 10:23 PM by ocean


Surprise! A friend is having my DG

by ocean on February 7th, 2015 at 12:07 PM
A friend I barely see surprised me by email a week ago - she's finally pregnant (yeah! after years of trying!). I congratulate her! She writes back and we're giddy as school girls again! She's farther along than I realized! And then pinned at the end of her next mail is "Oh and it's a girl!"

Yep. That particular flush of heat and emotion we all know so well goes coursing through my body. An instant mind-altering flash, followed by stark reality. The conversations

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Updated February 16th, 2015 at 04:37 PM by ocean


I dreamed I gave birth to my DG

by ocean on January 29th, 2015 at 09:41 PM
The dream was so vivid, I still remember every detail 15 hours later. I helped lift the baby to my chest, all long, warm and pink. The baby was clean and quietly watching me. I didn't check the gender. One of the nurses told me it was a girl, which I realized I already knew. I felt…content, happy, proud…and confident and comfortable as a 3rd time mom.

This was my first birth dream I can remember having. I think this was brought about by a friend having a baby recently, by

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