WOW - this is a new low for a doc's office. Devastating and INFURIATING

[LacePrincess]

Wow I don't even know what to say. I'm outraged, shocked, furious, so upset.

So I called my GP's office this morning telling them I was losing the pregnancy and that I no longer needed the prenatal appointment next week. However I said I wanted to keep the slot (30 min long with the dr) and do a physical/checkup instead, and make sure everything was ok. Also a pap as I was overdue. Might as well make sure no infections or anything that could've been a problem and get my bloods drawn to ensure no hcg, etc.

First they never even asked how I was bleeding or asked me to come in to get checked out, do an u/s, bloodwork, etc. They did ask me if I was sure, and I said yes, bleeding and cramping and cervix was open. I don't think she believed that I could check my own cervix.

Anyways so she said that was fine and I'd get a physical instead, great!

About half an hour ago she called and said that I wouldn't have time for a physical, as I was now only booked for a regular consult which is only 10 min long! I'm like WTF? I had a THIRTY MINUTE slot. This is not a matter of availability and 'squeezing' me in somewhere. I HAD that booking! She replied that since I was no longer preggo I now didn't qualify for a prenatal booking, and that since the doc only allowed for so many physical slots in her schedule I'd have to wait until JUNE to get a physical. "Sorry, but that's policy. You understand I have to abide by policy."

WHAT. THE. EVER. HOLY. FUCK. I think my jaw hung open for awhile, literally.

So I'm starting to cry, and I say fine, well, just give me the prenatal back, after all I hadn't been to another clinic or doctor or ER, I'm self diagnosing, so just put that I'm just bleeding in early pregnancy then.

Oh no, can't do that she says. Puts me on hold, talks to her supervisor. Comes back and says they can give me an extra 5 frigging minutes.

I'm so shocked and furious at this point. I said fine, leave it, but understand that you're rubbing salt in the wound right now. And that I'm shopping for another doctor TODAY. She spouts that stupid policy line at me again.

I'm so upset that I burst into tears hanging up. I just couldn't believe it. Miscarriages are so depressing and awful and crushing and isolating already, and I get treated like this!?? Not to mention it's borderline negligent malpractice not to insist that I come in for an u/s and bloodwork and check nothing's retained.

You know what I think? I think they don't believe I was ever preggo in the first place. I think they figure I was late for AF and just got my period, and that's why I'm bleeding. I think also that they assume this because I don't insist on coming in today to get my m/c verified. Well I think we all know what assuming gets you!!!

My MIL suggested I write a letter of complaint when I calm down which is a great idea. Also, I'm going to include a picture of all my BFP's to PROVE that I WAS pregnant. Heck, even a copy of my FF chart!

And then I will send a copy to their corporate office, and make copies for the receptionist secretary and the Doc. I don't want compensation, maybe an apology. Most of all I want them to change their idiotic policy they hide behind and maybe get some freaking compassion training. I'm still in shock and outrage. What if this had happened to someone more devastated than me? WTF!

[RedCanoe]

Yup, gotta love government run health care... 100% "policy" and 0% customer service.

Sorry you're going through this, Lace. *hugs*

[Wanting-a-girl]

So sorry for your terrible experience drs are assholes! And secretary's are even worst!

[LacePrincess]

Yeah this is a great example of what happens with corporate run health care funded by provincial dollars. This clinic is a chain. I've noticed their services go into the crapper for years but didn't want to change, this is the kick in the pants I needed.

So I booked in with the Family Health Centre in the small town I now live in, and even over the phone they seem much nicer. Hopefully I'll have a better experience. The good thing is they do have lab facilities and ultrasounds right in the building so it's much more convenient too.

I can't wait to call the other doc's office and tell them they're FIRED. Man I'm so mad now I'm still shaking.

[harleyquinn]

I think you should write the letter of complaint, even if it gets you nothing, it provides personal closure.

About 8 years ago, I had my first m/c. Cycles were irregular due to nursing, so I didn't know how far along I was, and hadn't had my first appt yet...back in those days, I liked to just nurture myself at home before getting doctors involved right away. Anyway, I lost the baby at home and it was about the size of an apricot, and was very painful to pass. I could see little white, gelatinous firm things that looked parts of a baby. So I put the baby in a box and stupidly WAITED until my husband could drop the box off at the doctors office to be tested, rather than dropping it off fresh.

So they test the blob, and the doctor tells me there is no living cells in that sample, no chorionic villi...NOTHING that indicates a pregnancy so then I am summoned for bloodwork which showed an Hcg of 5 which he says is NOT preganant and shows I probably never was. I repeatedly say I had a positive pregnancy test but he says I'm sorry but this is a "psychological pregnancy".

Obviously I never went back to him, but I always wished I would of filed a complaint and I still think I should even these years later...because of that experience, I have never brought in products of conception again, and have always (until recently) managed my m/c all by myself at home because I never want someone to tell me again that the pg is all in my head. I never want to drop off my baby again, and someone tell me that its normal to pass apricot sized clots. So I didn't get help for alot of years because of that horrid man.

I'm sorry you are going through this and losing the baby. WRite the letter and make the most of your 15 minute visit.

[LacePrincess]

Harley, what an absolute complete jackass. I suspect that your sample probably got tossed, from the sounds of it. Terrible.

I'm so glad I hadn't thrown away my FRER's yet, at least they can serve a purpose after all!

Yk I wasn't all that upset about the m/c, but being treated like that certainly did it. I really wanted to ask that horrid bitch if she kicked puppies in her spare time. I just cannot comprehend how anyone can be so cold hearted.

I'm definitely going to write a letter. I plan on sending it registered mail to corporate and having hubby hand deliver a copy to the reception supervisor, and a copy to the dr. I will also write an additional letter to the doc telling her that I was pleased with her personally but that the policies of the office are simply unbearable and are compromising the very basics of standard care. It might not change anything but as you say it'll bring me closure.

[Just <3 One <3 Girl]

Lacey iam new to boards but i just wanted to say im sorry for your loss :-( its unfortunate how desensitized people can be sometimes.

[OnlyPraying]

sigh...Our medical system sucks. God forbid anyone be nice to the patients... So sorry you became a victim to this failed white elephant we call the canadian medical system.

[harleyquinn]

Just be so kind to yourself. I am glad you got an appt somewhere else...sometimes thats all it takes. Where I live, I have no choice but to stick it out with Miss So and So at the front desk that tells me there is no WAY my digital would say PREGNANT if my hcg is a 7...sigh.

Its almost like, with doctors they assume you are crazy and hyperchondriac until they can swoop in and save the day and make you "normal"...I"m always treated like an idiot which is why I have high blood pressure ONLY in the doctors office. Thats why I keep my mouth shut and my ears open and don't mention things like cervixes...if I pretty much pretend I don't know what a uterus or a luteal phase is, and all goes well. I"m kinda joking but not really either. :P

[LacePrincess]

Oh yeah, I totally kwym Harley. Isn't there even a term for that? God complex?

It's like, they want to diagnose you and 'help' and 'save' you. And then they treat you like idiots for telling them about your OWN body, cycle, etc. Of course never ever say you found out anything on the internet, even though pubmed articles are quite available online.

Hey, my doc called everything symptomatic due to stress and still believed you alternate ovaries ovulating each month! The less said about that stupid ass pregnancy wheel the better. And yet, they overbook so much for the sake of $$$ that they make themselves unavailable when I do need their 'expertise'. A bit of a conflict, no?

I dunno, long ago I lost all respect for any so called 'doctor' that patronized me and talked down to me and shut me down if I said anything technical like 'progesterone'. Life's too short to deal with idiots who could kill you, literally. Which is why I treasure my psychiatrist SO MUCH. He respects me, never talks down with me, actually uses technical terms for everything and thinks enough of me to talk TO me and not AT me. Last appt we spent a good 20 min chatting about the latest research studies, hormones, behavioural therapies in actual clinical terms. He's secure enough in his own expertise not to be threatened by the 'patient' not being a total dumbass, and that is so rare to find. I wasn't kidding when I told his resident student that I'd literally drive across the country to see my psych.

Too bad I have yet to find a GP that good quite yet.