Loss

[Kittybear]

I am only just catching up on your news. I am so, so sorry for your loss Hun. It is so unfair. Give yourself time. Your little one will live on in your heart. Xxx

[2boysJustOneGirl]

Thankyou so much for all your kind words. I am feeling like the healing has really begun- or at least I am not weeping every 20 minutes. Only three times all day today!

My Christmas was crap. Christmas Eve we had friends over and I drank too much wine and beer. Christmas Day I tried to focus on the joy of my babes but it was tough to do. My husband had been wonderfully supportive and I am so grateful for him and his ability to lift me up.

Today I shared my loss with my mom, sister and brother. It's felt so good for them to know what I had been going through- they were all supportive and sorry and it just helps to recognize and acknowledge the baby that left me way too early.

[tarasue]

Once I shared with my parents that I was pregnant and chances were I was going to loose the baby I felt a huge wave of relief. It was only two weeks ago, but I feel like I am emotionally doing better with each day. My husband and I did get asked, by a family friend, on Christmas Eve when we were going to have another baby... I broke down in the middle of dinner. My husband has been great! It is like your mourning by yourself though, it was so early no one but me had a real attachment to this baby yet. Take care of yourself! I have been taking too good of care of myself and letting myself eat what and when ever I want..... We are on a family vacation now and won't get back to normal until the first of the year . Then I must crack down in the LE, and hopefully drop some of the 10 pounds I've put on in this last two months:/.

[girliedreamz]

I feel you on Christmas woes! My sis-in-law has a newborn baby girl, and just being around her was so conflicting. Love her to death...but so sad I'm not getting one. (yet!) And when I was holding her, mom-in-law kept hinting that I should have a baby girl. And by "hinting" I mean she went as far as buying my youngest boy a shirt that reads "I'm being promoted to Big Brother." (Mind you, I NEVER told her I was pregnant.) WTF, woman!? I almost felt like telling her, "Sure, I'll just run down to the baby girl store and pick one up. 'Cause it's that easy, right?" All of my family is well-meaning, but it was hard to take. I'm looking forward to a fresh start in Jan!

[2boysJustOneGirl]

I feel you on Christmas woes! My sis-in-law has a newborn baby girl, and just being around her was so conflicting. Love her to death...but so sad I'm not getting one. (yet!) And when I was holding her, mom-in-law kept hinting that I should have a baby girl. And by "hinting" I mean she went as far as buying my youngest boy a shirt that reads "I'm being promoted to Big Brother." (Mind you, I NEVER told her I was pregnant.) WTF, woman!? I almost felt like telling her, "Sure, I'll just run down to the baby girl store and pick one up. 'Cause it's that easy, right?" All of my family is well-meaning, but it was hard to take. I'm looking forward to a fresh start in Jan!

Oh that's sucks. Must have been difficult to be around that. How far along are you now?

[2boysJustOneGirl]

Once I shared with my parents that I was pregnant and chances were I was going to loose the baby I felt a huge wave of relief. It was only two weeks ago, but I feel like I am emotionally doing better with each day. My husband and I did get asked, by a family friend, on Christmas Eve when we were going to have another baby... I broke down in the middle of dinner. My husband has been great! It is like your mourning by yourself though, it was so early no one but me had a real attachment to this baby yet. Take care of yourself! I have been taking too good of care of myself and letting myself eat what and when ever I want..... We are on a family vacation now and won't get back to normal until the first of the year . Then I must crack down in the LE, and hopefully drop some of the 10 pounds I've put on in this last two months:/.

I feel like my coping skills are not great, I wish I had more motivation to do the cardio-I feel like it would likely benefit my spirit more than the wine and beer. I am just so pissed off I am back at square one. Swaying sucks.

If I don't get a BFP in January I am going to postponed TTC. I don't think i can emotionally handle weeks and weeks of swaying then weeks of waiting to know gender. My head is so different going into this now- I am weak and I feel like I don't have the drive to do it.

[tarasue]

Ya I am not excited about swaying now.. having to start over now, I just don't have the same drive and commitment I did back in October.

[Grace]

I feel the same way. I was doing so good on LE for five months, but now after the mc it seems like my will power just flew out the window...I keep promising myself tomorrow I'll pull myself together, but everyday is a struggle. And I feel my body is so weak from the endless bleeding, that sure doesn't help. What I find most difficult is no snacking. I'm hungry all the time. I guess it's a mix of self pity, crazy hormones and the cold weather. I really hope this mc a strong sway factor.

[2boysJustOneGirl]

I hear ya Grace. It's just such an emotionally draining experience and then you realize you have to start swaying again and the emotions only go more wild. I am so glad we have each other on this site. Nobody could possibly know how tough this really is for us with GD.

Grace is a beautiful name. That is one of my girl names

[QueenB3blue]

I am so sorry ladies what you are all feeling is so familiar for me. I found it incredibly difficult to motivate myself after my mc. Especially while I was bleeding. I bled for about 3 weeks then spotted for a week then my bleeding picked back up for another week. Are you guys taking an iron supplement 3x a week? I didn't take it the first 2 weeks, but when I did it seemed to help.

Try not to think of it as starting over but just picking up were you left off. Best wishes for all of you