The message I got from my ob about my age and risk of loss

[1moregirl]

She says,

"Our recommendation to all women, whether they have had miscarriages or not, is to take 500mcg of folic acid/folate every day. Folic acid ONLY decreases the chance that baby does not have Spina bifida. It doesn't decrease the risk of miscarriage. Women can write anything they want on the Internet, so you will read a lot of things that aren't really correct. There is no evidence that Coq10 decreases miscarriage. In Australia, we do not recommend the use of baby aspirin or progesterone. Professor Wallace from Monash Health is a world authority, and he believes these will not help. Your only increased risk of miscarriage and a baby with abnormalities is your age. At your age, your pregnancy has a higher chance of being a miscarriage than it has of giving you a baby. At your age, if you do carry a baby, that baby has a greater than 1 in 10 chance of having Down Syndrome. I am pleased you want to be as healthy as possible, but you are not able to change the one thing that really gives you a high risk of miscarriage, and a high risk of a baby with abnormalities. That one thing is your age."

What do you ladies think? She had the same attitude when I saw her after my miscarriage. She told me bluntly that there was basically no hope of me carrying a baby to term at MY AGE and, even if I did, it would most likely have something wrong with it. Are obstetricians in other countries this negative about women having babies in their 40s?

[liny]

i don't know much about it to be honest apart that as older you get as more risky it gets, but i know several people who had their first baby with 41 and second at 45 and they had no problems. i think it depends on the individual person, but people having kids a lot later these days anyway, it's good that she is stating the facts of what could happen but maybe time to change OB and finding someone more understanding. sorry I'm no big help

[atomic sagebrush]

I agree, as per what I said before, that your issue is your age. It wasn't Zofran. It was age. I'm sorry that is just what the truth is. The older we get, the harder it is to get and stay pregnant. I was lucky in that I had a doctor who was very supportive of my pregnancy at 41/42 but others have also had negative experiences. But, like I said in another thread, the info on pregnancies over age 40 may very well be skewed because up until very recently, the majority people even trying to get pregnant over 40 were people who may have had fertility problems to start with, and they may have been more "set" for issues than others are (this is getting and staying pregnant and NOT the risk of chromosomal abnormalities, which absolutely does increase with age no matter what we do, unfortunately)

All that having been said, she is wrong about the folic acid/folate as there are definitely studies done by OTHER experts who DO believe that it helps prevent Downs. Folate metabolism and the risk of Down syndrome and Folic Acid May Fight Down Syndrome Additionally, as I can already attest, 500 mcg was NOT ENOUGH to prevent my son's spina bifida as he still developed it when I was taking 800 mcg a day and eating an extremely healthy diet, taking prenatal (I was not swaying). There are also many other neural tube defects aside from spina bifida that can cause miscarriage and folic acid does prevent those.

Re coq10 - Yep, no hard scientific evidence it helps (as of yet). But it doesn't hurt and since pretty much every RE on the planet doing IVF recommends it for egg quality, personally I choose to listen to them.

[atomic sagebrush]

And I don't say that to be discouraging to anyone because we have had many successful pregnancies over 40, mine included. It's just the truth that you have to be honest with yourself about, before going in. Every time I went to the bathroom, thru my whole pregnancy, I expected to be bleeding and that I wasn't is only down to the Grace of God. It can still happen (and I personally know a lady who had a healthy baby at the age of 45, over 50 years ago) it is just harder, that's all.

[1moregirl]

Thanks for the comments ladies. I do accept that it might've been due to my age, but it also could've just been a one off chromosomal abnormality and that's what the ob/gyns were telling me at the hospital. They said it was unlikely due to my age since I'd already had one healthy baby just shy of turning 41, yet obviously they can't say definitely. I guess the only thing I can do, if I'm gutsy enough, is to give it one last try and see what happens. I wouldn't definitely have myself mentally prepared and would not let myself get excited until well past the first trimester (if I made it that far). If I miscarry again, I would then definitely accept that my eggs are past their expiry date and no more babies for me. If I got lucky and got full term to deliver a healthy baby, then I would consider myself extremely bloody lucky. I just don't want to feel selfish in trying to get pregnant again. I have already 3 beautiful little children to consider and if anything should go wrong with me how awful and devastating that would be. But I guess we don't think like that when having a baby.

[1moregirl]

The thing my ob said that really got to me was that I had a higher risk of miscarriage than I did of actually having a baby. Is this really true? The odds they gave me at the hospital didn't seem that high. If only there was an easy and inexpensive way of testing our egg quality.

[adnilleinad]

Perhaps What she meant is that the number of normal eggs are low, therefore higher risk? I think after 40 the number of normal are around 10%. But you could hit the month with the golden egg.

[covered in blue]

I just wanted to tell you about my grandmother. She had 7 children all up (Catholic lol) and the first 5 were boys and then 2 girls. The first girl was born when she was 44, the second girl when she was 47! She passed away recently at the ripe old age of 92 and she lived in her own home up until a week before she died. She was an amazing woman. I don't know if she had any miscarriages but I do know she had 2 normal babies after the age of 40. I guess her sort of story would be very rare these days but it's possible. I wish you the best of luck on your journey xx.

[The Anchor]

An increased chance of chromosomal abnormalities is a result of age. It's not - well it's either my age or it's a chromosomal abnormality - it's both. I can tell you all 3 of my pregnancies were OHWs, at age 36, 37 and 39. The third was the m/c, I thought no problem, so easy for me to get pregnant, but it has been 3 years. Pretesting one year after my m/c showed FSH of 14, AMH of nearly nothing, and AFC of 4. If you get these tests done it will give you an idea of where your fertility is at.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks for the comments ladies. I do accept that it might've been due to my age, but it also could've just been a one off chromosomal abnormality and that's what the ob/gyns were telling me at the hospital. They said it was unlikely due to my age since I'd already had one healthy baby just shy of turning 41, yet obviously they can't say definitely. I guess the only thing I can do, if I'm gutsy enough, is to give it one last try and see what happens. I wouldn't definitely have myself mentally prepared and would not let myself get excited until well past the first trimester (if I made it that far). If I miscarry again, I would then definitely accept that my eggs are past their expiry date and no more babies for me. If I got lucky and got full term to deliver a healthy baby, then I would consider myself extremely bloody lucky. I just don't want to feel selfish in trying to get pregnant again. I have already 3 beautiful little children to consider and if anything should go wrong with me how awful and devastating that would be. But I guess we don't think like that when having a baby.

I think that they were trying to reassure you, hun. No matter what they said at that time, It's a fact that even those of us who have had babies in our very early 40's, cannot go on indefinitely doing so safely with risks that increase to both you and baby. (just look at Michelle Duggar, if you know who that is) At some point, it's the last fresh egg in the carton and every year that passes it's another exponential increase.

This reality, does not necessarily mean that you could only ever have miscarriages or that all your eggs are hard-boiled as we say, just that it will be harder than it was before for you to get pregnant and your odds of miscarriage are higher. We just want you to go in armed with the actual facts that it's an uphill slog - not impossible, but not easy and be prepared for the risks and possible outcomes.